In the past two days, Yinengjing's son Harry has sparked heated discussions. The reason for
is that he posted a set of "large-scale" pictures. In the photo of
, Harry hugs a girl. Both of them have heavy makeup, exaggerated eye makeup and eyebrows. Many conservative netizens have exclaimed: is too bold!
After reading the photos, some netizens shouted Yi Nengjing: look at your son!
But in fact, this is not the first time that Yi Nengjing's son has caused heated discussions because of her personal dressing preferences.
searched casually, news about Harry wearing women's clothing and makeup abounds, and once stunned wave after wave of netizens.
and the question about Yi Nengjing "raising children" was once again brought to the table.
Many people are puzzled. As a boy, he wears women's clothing, puts on makeup, and takes such large-scale photos? is so unlike a man's behavior, can Yi Nengjing accept it?
In fact, compared to the stipulation that boys "can only do this" and girls "can only do that", I always believe that a unique soul deserves to be respected.
Harry's "rebellious" is not a disease, nor a psychological problem. On the contrary, he is not afraid of the outside world, and he is himself magnanimous, precisely from the support of his mother.
01 I love you, you are free
The latest season of " Strange Flower Talking " has ended.
In this season, many young debaters who were "short-lived" still left a deep impression on us.
For example, in the audition, the young debaters TK and Yuan Qiqi.
They are the pros and cons of each other's debate. The topic of discussion is " boys want to wear skirts to kindergarten, should parents stop them? "
Obviously this debate is about whether the children should be free to wear clothes. problem.
thinks that TK's point of view of the square player who "should be blocked" is:
Sometimes we block, not because the child did something wrong, but the parent is responsible to help the child avoid possible risks and injuries.
If parents cannot protect their young child by their side, they are obliged to help the child estimate the risks and bear the consequences.
guest Yang Mi also expressed support for "blocking children." Later, she said, "" If the topic is an adult, I will definitely choose not to stop it. "
Yes, the child is still young, and there are many outside voices that I can’t distinguish, so I need parents’ help. check. But when a child really becomes an adult, how many parents can allow an adult man to appear in public, dressed in women's clothing and makeup?
If your son has grown up and he wears heavy makeup and women's clothing, can you accept it?
I believe many people’s answer is: can’t.
Even if I think it’s okay in my heart, but to accept the child’s unusual behavior, to let the boy go out wearing something "belongs to a girl", for parents, it’sIt's hard to accept.
However, Yi Nengjing did it.
Many people say that Harry wearing women's clothing is an act of grandstanding and has psychological problems.
When public opinion was tumultuous, Yi Nengjing did not respond. Later I learned that for Yi Nengjing, this was not a big deal at all.
Instead, the son Harry is very caring. He is afraid that his mother is in a bad mood. He also wants to close his social account without commenting.
Yi Nengjing replied: Of course does not need to be closed!
Regarding her son's hobby of wearing women's clothing, Yi Nengjing also comforted her son not to have a burden: "In my world, you can be yourself."
The respect from his mother is also enough to give Harry the power to resist everything. No matter what the outside world says, no matter how vicious the comments of netizens are, Harry is still going his own way and frankly.
Harry's growth and courage, I think it comes from the love of his parents-
I love you, I will not control you.
as long as you are happy and happy,
as long as you don't hurt others, you can do whatever you want.
02 Is the child’s personality respectful or indulgent?
The aesthetic consciousness that appeared in his early childhood will affect his life's temperament and aesthetic ability. ——Child psychologist Sun Ruixue said:
aesthetic ability affects children, not only distinguishing beauty and ugliness, but also self-confident temperament. In fact, children's yearning for beauty is born naturally from and , but adults lack calmness.
You carefully taste your products and really make netizens unacceptable. Are these " bold and independent " aesthetic behaviors?
On the Internet, the children of celebrities are always prone to discussion.
For example, Faye Wong's daughter Dou Jingtong, once because of her short haircut and neutral dress, netizens said she was "partial" and "funny"...
Also for example, Huang Lei's daughters are so many, always because of various trivial matters. Hot search:
wear more earrings;
put lipstick a lot on my sister;
dyed her hair a lot; wear sports bras a lot;
...
From these hot searches, you can see that everyone is very keen to discuss: z1 A child, what should be done and what should not be done.
Huang Lei and Sun Li support their daughters to do things that seem to be "bad kids" behavior in the eyes of ordinary parents.
However, respecting children's choices can not only enhance their aesthetic ability, but also make them more confident and recognize themselves.
Faced with so many heated discussions, Sun Li chose to respond calmly to this matter.
She said:
The more you stop the child, the more rebellious you will be. It is better to respect her choice.
Picture source: Weibo @ Sina Entertainment
Sun Li also said in the interview:
" She is a thoughtful person, she has her secrets, her thoughtsLaw, her life. She does not belong to me, we are individuals "independent from each other", and I do not impose my will on her. "
From Sun Li's point of view, it is not difficult to find that the most important thing about the education of the children of Huang Lei's family is- "respect" .
I would like to ask, which child does not want such a pair of fairy parents to support your "special" and respect your "rebellious"?
don’t believe me, look at the comments of netizens:
. In essence, is a lot of hot search for , and the topic of discussion "Can boys wear skirts to kindergarten" has the same effect.
Boys wear skirts and girls wear pierced ears. It is a child's free choice, but it does not interfere with others.
In fact, what we should think about is: What kind of parenting methods should parents adopt when the child's choice does not meet the socially established standards.
On the field of the debate, Yuan Qiqi from the opposite side appeared in a skirt.
, 19 years old, wearing a butterfly-like skirt, confidently and calmly said " you can think I am weird, but you can't think I am ordinary. "
"" He would feel that it is wrong to wear skirts and to play with dolls. "
What's more, the notion that boys can't wear skirts and girls can't pierce their ears when they are too young is a stereotype in itself.
is like Harry, Duto, wearing women's clothing, or piercing the ears, they are actually "expressing yourself" .
They are not apostasy, but under the love of their parents, they are accustomed to this way of expression.
True love for children is not unconditional indulgence, but respect and guidance.
is just like that sentence says:
child,
I love you,
love you what you expect,
z0 instead of my zzz1.03 Accept the uniqueness and respect the child's "disobedience"
For parents, love is not control, not command, but acceptance.
Children have their own lives, and it is impossible to follow the requirements of their parents. It is necessary to allow those different existences in the children.
Parents’ acceptance of their children includes life planning in addition to their children’s daily habits.
Li Jiaqi , who is now popular across the entire e-commerce platform, was " different from ordinary people " when he was a child.
Image source: Weibo @李佳琦Austin
Li Jiaqi liked to dress up when he was a child and like to study many beautiful things, because of this, he was ridiculed by boys when he was in school.
and Li Jiaqi's family have always supported him and encouraged him instead of stifling his "talent".
Li Jiaqi applied for the Nanchang University art and design major during the college entrance examination, where he studied dance. After graduation, he found another job that had nothing to do with dancing—a cosmetics sales consultant. zWhen 7z
did not appear on the live broadcast, Li Jiaqi was already a small and famous "top seller" in that cosmetics company. After that, under the organization of the company, he started his live broadcast career, and participated in the BA Internet celebrity contest, so it became a big hit...
Until today, his live broadcast room has invited countless stars, and he also tried countless only girls Lipstick from the grass.
He is more and more stable above what he loves, and is now worth over 100 million.
said from the media author C, that even if you really give birth to a "Li Jiaqi", it is unlikely that you will develop him into Li Jiaqi. This is because most parents face in the face of the child's innocent behavior (for example, little boys like to wear lipstick and make-up; little girls like to dye their hair and pierce their ears) , they can't do sincerely accept .
But these behaviors are not harmful.
Every attempt of a child is an exploration of the world and an understanding of himself.
Just like the words of Mr. Feng Jicai quoted by the debater Yuan Qiqi in the concluding debate:
z1 The wind can blow up a large piece of white paper, but it cannot blow away a butterfly, because the power of life lies in "Disobedience".
keep the child’s disobedience, maybe you will get unexpected surprises in your child’s growth.
Finally, end with the classic verse of Gibran , and give it to every parent:
your children are not your children,
they are the children born by life's desire for itself.
They came to this world through you, but they didn't come because of you,
they were by your side, but they didn't belong to you.
hope that every parent can correctly guide every choice in the growth of children.
retains the child’s "disobedience" in growing up, and respects the child's "diversity" of choice. Together with children, the harvest belongs to the surprise and uniqueness of growing up.
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