Article | A Corner of the Sea of Heart (Parents Intensive Reading Columnist)
01.
A few days ago, the actor Sun Li posted two comparison photos of her husband Deng Chao on Weibo, saying that Deng Chao was too fat before to lose weight, but Sun Li helped He is motivated.
So, Sun Li, who was originally very thin, followed Deng Chao to lose weight in order to encourage him. As a result, Deng Chao lost 5 kg and Sun Li lost 2 kg.
Sun Li just remembered now, and felt that he was so pitiful, why did he follow Deng Chao to lose weight?
Yes, Sun Li only has 90 catties, so she doesn't need to lose weight at all!
Someone posted a picture of Deng Chao gobbled up after a day of hunger in the variety show "Hahahahaha" in a comment. Sun Li also specifically replied: "I'm very hungry!"
It seems that Sun Li really cannot tolerate Deng Chao's fat. , After all, this is not only related to his own career development, Deng Chao also needs to lose weight for his health. Isn’t that the case between husband and wife
?
dislikes you for eating too much, and at the same time urges you to move your legs. In order to achieve the effect of exercise, you have to demonstrate it yourself. This unyielding energy is also true love!
and Deng Chao was not angry at all, and directly forwarded Weibo and said: "Because of 520", we all know that the homophony of "520" is "I love you", this wave of confession is also naked! The most important thing about
is that Deng Chao also commented deliberately, using pictures to show that his Weibo, which he specially distributed at 5:20, was to correspond with "520", and he properly spread a handful of dog food!
Some people say that marriage is an investment, love is equivalent to registered capital, marriage certificate is equivalent to business license, and wedding is equivalent to opening ceremony. As for the benefits, it depends on the cooperation of both parties.
Good marriages are all like this, one side dislikes the other side is not good and that is wrong, but the other side still persists. After all, investment is not easy, and it is even more painful to break up.
02. Dislike is real, love is real
Actor Ying Caier posted pictures of her husband Chen Xiaochun singing live with Zhou Yan on Weibo, but the accompanying text says: Hello everyone, please get to know this group, they are "owe beat" guys .
It turned out that Cai'er Ying disliked the pulling look they had in their performances, and felt that it was not quite like the state that people of Chen Xiaochun's age should present.
But we all know that Chen Xiaochun was like this when he debuted, and it is this cool and sluggish state that will attract the straightforward personality Ying Caier!
Zhou Yan mentioned that he especially admires Chen Xiaochun, and when he can sing many of Chen Xiaochun's songs, Cherrie Ying can immediately see that Zhou Yan's current hairstyle is imitating Chen Xiaochun's previous style.
And Caier Ying immediately said that Zhou Yan imitated Chen Xiaochun's album "Hug", even though Caier Ying said the album was published in the wrong year, Chen Xiaochun on the side lowered his head and laughed.
Then Caier Ying teased Zhou Yan, don’t think that only your wife is your fan, OK? His wife is also a fan.
At this time Chen Xiaochun was already laughing from ear to ear, Zhou Yan was forcibly stuffed with dog food!
, a 16-year-old couple, the original combination was not favored by the outside world. I feel that Chen Xiaochun, a slow-heating man, meets a hot tempered Ying Cai'er, it must be "Mars hit the earth"!
However, they live extremely happily with their true love. They have just welcomed the birth of their youngest son, and the life of a family of four has become sweeter and warmer. Everyone thinks they are made in heaven.
someone once ridiculed that accommodating, tolerating, surrendering, accepting, adapting, forgiving, understanding, compromising, resilience, confession, marriage and love can train "decathlon."
Whose marriage is not like this, one side is unacceptable to some behaviors of the other side, while the other side is trying to change at the same time, trying to accept each other's imperfections. After all, marriage really needs to "recognize each other's fate"!
03. It’s just bad habits, not the other person
French writer Morois said that in a happy marriage, everyone should respect each other's tastes and hobbies. It is the most absurd idea to think that two people can have the same thoughts, the same judgments, and the same desires.
Everyone is an independent individual, with his own mode of thinking and way of doing things. Husbands and wives need to respect each other's independence, and cannot dislike each other's individual independence in the name of husband and wife.
The little cousin of my uncle’s family has only been married for less than a year. Some time ago, she was clamoring for a divorce. A large family asked her why she was divorcing. The little cousin said that she could not stand her husband Liu doing things.
Everyone is at a loss, what is the reason?
I let my little cousin give an example, but the little cousin said that one time two people went to the movies, and she wanted to watch literary and artistic romances, while Da Liu said slowly that she wanted to watch science fiction. The little cousin
was very angry and asked Liu: "Is it so difficult for you to watch a movie with me? Can you be more refreshed?" Liu had to obediently bought the ticket, but found an excuse to walk out of the cinema halfway through the show. .
In fact, we all have been in marriage for many years. We all know that Liu just wants to watch science fiction films, but he is afraid that the little cousin will be upset and dare not say it directly. This will make the little cousin want to divorce.
Under my uncle's enlightenment, the little cousin finally realized that when she first liked Liu, she actually liked his steadfastness. You can't feel that life can't go on because of different hobbies.
Marriage is a legal relationship based on love, but we cannot trample on marriage at will. We must distinguish what we dislike each other. If it is just a different lifestyle, then we should be tolerant and respectful.
People who get divorced at every turn are essentially not self-confident in themselves, but also disrespectful to each other. Only those who use their hearts and brains can manage their marriages in a colorful manner.
04. The bottom line of a good marriage is that we can’t get rid of
. We all envy old husbands and wives who are white-headed and old. We all want to have a loyal love that lasts until death. But now that society is developing so fast, even love seems to become Fast food".
wants to be with each other for life at first sight, holding hands successfully but feels tasteless. Some people even go to sleep, and even others have the attitude of playing life, and marriage ends when they break up. Marx, the revolutionary teacher of
, said that if wants to spend a good life, only two people can unite. Because half of the ball cannot be rolled, the important task of every adult is to find the half that matches him.
So for every adult, if you want to find a partner who matches you, the key is to draw the bottom line, that is, even if you dislike the other party's bad habits, if the other party does not change, can you still tolerate it?
Some time ago, a 56-year-old aunt named Su Min ran away from home in a small car. She said that she would finally stop being aggrieved in her marriage. This kind of life would not go on anymore.
Su Min said that after having been married to her husband for more than 30 years, she raised her daughter and helped her raise two grandchildren. However, she and her husband have been sleeping in separate rooms. Only when the husband returns to the room, she has the right to choose the TV in the living room. What
can't stand for Su Min most is that her husband will get angry at every turn, and when he gets angry, she will throw something and hit her. Once she wanted to resist, but her husband picked up a stool and smashed it on her back, which hurt for many days.
How can a marriage that suffocates one party be long?
Su Min’s escape really shows that a good marriage is that you have some minor faults, and I also have some minor faults, but it does not prevent us from continuing to love and kill each other.
But if you break through the bottom line of marriage, then disgust is true disgust, and the original love will disappear in the disgust day after day, and the marriage will of course be on the verge of disintegration.
hope that we can all understand that marriage is not a house, love is the guarantee for the survival of the marriage, but the individual performance in the daily relationship is the root of the long-term happiness of marriage!
About the author: A corner of the sea, a columnist of the rich book, a researcher of child psychology, with a heart of love for life, handwritten insights into human nature, this article is first published in intensive reading by parents, the copyright belongs to the rich book, without authorization, no reprint, Infringement must be investigated.
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