Zhang Ailing's "First Incense": The girl student who sold herself to support her lover

Text/Mu Romance Picture/Network

"I love you, what is it with you, there are so many strange things, I can't blame you".

This is what the heroine Ge Weilong said in " First Incense " written by Zhang Ailing, when faced with a man who could not agree to marry or love, but only promise to be happy.

affectionately is true, self-willing to fall is also true, this is the history of the fall of a female college student.

1.

Shanghai female student Ge Weilong escaped to Hong Kong because of fighting with her family, and went to Hong Kong to study. Later, due to financial problems, her family would move back to Shanghai, but she was about to graduate soon and didn’t want to toss about changing schools, but she was herself. If a person stays in Hong Kong, there is no source of income, so I think of Mrs. Liang, aunt married to a rich Hong Kong concubine many years ago.

However, because her father disagrees with her aunt's marriage many years ago, Ge Weilong was really squeezed out by her aunt because he called her self-willing to be inferior and corrupt.

Although Ge Weilong was young, he had a slick mouth: "Auntie can't forget, and I can't forget. My father had committed a sin in the tongue, and my aunt had to give me a chance to atone. My aunt educated me, I It is your child, and I am your child. I will repay you slowly in the future. "

made Mrs. Liang happy with a few words, and invited her to live in the house directly.

Of course, Mrs. Liang is an old socialist who wanders in the social field. A large part of her willingness to take in Ge Weilong is because Ge Weilong looks a bit attractive. She saw the opportunity to make money in Ge Weilong and wanted to use Ge Weilong as a bait. Attracting men.

The moment when Ge Weilong stepped into his aunt's house, the tragedy began quietly.

2.

Although Ge Weilong grew up in a middle-class family and was spoiled to grow up, compared to the arrogance and lust of her aunt's family, she is still a bit shameless, just like some women who are carrying tens of thousands of Chanel bags today meet with them. Like millions of women with Hermes bags, they will look up more or less.

So, when she found that the luxurious decorations of her aunt's home and the all kinds of beautiful clothes tailored for herself in the closet filled with her aunt, but she was not wearing a donkey or a horse, she was immediately attracted.

At first, Ge Weilong also despised her aunt. Her feeling for her aunt was: holding the great wheel of the times with one hand, in her own little world, retaining the lascivious air of the end of the Qing Dynasty, closed the door and made small Empress Dowager Cixi.

She is confident that as long as she acts righteously and stands upright, she will be able to abide by her principles, study hard and not be affected.

But she overestimated herself after all.

When she started to wore the beautiful clothes her aunt prepared for herself and went through various banquets with her aunt, she gradually became accustomed to the sensual life, even though she understood in the process that her aunt would use herself as a victim at any time to please the rich Man's, but she is addicted to everything at the moment, and she is reluctant to give up all the gorgeous things she already has.

Mrs. Liang brought her into an extravagant environment, fascinated her and later successfully enslaved her thoughts.

It is easy to change from frugality to luxury, and it is difficult to change from extravagance to frugality. Similarly, it is impossible to let Ge Weilong return to normal days after trying everything that ordinary girls dream of.

So even if she had the idea of ​​breaking away from her aunt, she would just marry a rich man herself and continue her life of drunkenness and love in another way.

She was totally unaware of her depravity and embarrassment.

3.

How difficult it is to find a rich and agreeable husband, Ge Weilong has set his goal to pursue his own playboy Joe Qiqiao.

is because Qiao Qiqiao is the only man she knows who can resist the magical power of her aunt. She has a similar appreciation for him, and the other is because she thinks that Qiao’s family has acquaintances in Hong Kong’s third-class institutions. As long as you marry Georgie Qiao, you are not afraid that there is no way to survive.

This is what she thinks is the best way to help her get out of her aunt's life-saving rope, so no matter how unreliable Georgie Qiao is, she believes that as long as she loves him,Believe him, he will make a change.

So, she voluntarily approached Qiao Qiqiao, even if Qiao Qiqiao made it clear that she could not agree to marry her, nor promise her love, but only promised her, she also accepted this deformed feeling madly. Real emotions moved unconsciously.

It is natural to be true to feelings, and the most feared is wrong payment. And Ge Weilong, facing a playboy like George Qiao who refuses to give any promises, is sure to pay wrong.

Qiao Qiqiao can even hug her aunt Sui'er right after dating and kissing Ge Weilong. After Ge Weilong broke through this incident, he beat him with his hands and lost face and had a short time. Frustrated, ready to leave Hong Kong and go back to Shanghai.

But her aunt was afraid of losing her cash cow. She went around in circles to keep her, and even secretly instructed Qiao Qiqiao to apologize to Ge Weilong. After a series of phone calls, she kept sending flowers. In the end, Ge Weilong still loved her after a serious illness. To admit defeat, to be precise, is to admit defeat to one's own desires.

herself admits that maybe she didn't want to leave subconsciously, so she deliberately stayed, so she fell ill voluntarily.

This time, in addition to material desire, there is also the reluctance towards Georgie Qiao. She fell into a deformed wrong love and cannot extricate herself. even determined that the reason Georgie Qiao did not want to marry herself was because he was not seen in Qiao’s house. So I don’t have much money. When financially unable to support a marriage, I take the initiative to tell Mrs. Liang that she can make money.

She said so, and she did the same. After studying with Mrs. Liang, she has achieved outstanding results in the social field. While rising in value, she has the ability to make money and has the confidence to support Georgie Qiao. The marriage will be completed.

Since then, Ge Weilong has been sold to Mrs. Liang and Qiao Qiqiao. He has been busy all day, either making money for Qiao Qiqiao or making people for Mrs. Liang.

even walked down the street with George Qiao and was mistaken for a woman by a drunkard, he could only mock himself: "Well, what is the difference between me and them?" Is there really no difference between

? She also felt like a mirror in her heart, yes.

So she said again: "How come there is no difference? They have no alternative, I am willing."

...

, yes, she is self-willed to fall.

4.

At the end of the story, Zhang Ailing did not clearly explain her ending. Let's imagine, can she end it all? Or does she have the courage to end it all? The answer to

is obvious, no more.

She came here all the way. At the very beginning, she thought of taking refuge in her aunt, using her aunt’s money to help her finish her studies, but when she was used as a bait to stay, she gradually became accustomed to stabilizing her arrogance and prostitution by selling her appearance. In life, at this time, she is not only relying on her aunt, but also the men who can spend money for her in the social field. After

fell in love with Georgie Qiao, who had nothing but a pair of intestines, she relied on betraying herself to support Georgie Qiao, but at the same time she relied on him spiritually, drunk in the wrong love, moths to the fire, endless Hugh.

So, even if he knew that the reason Georgie Qiao never lied to him was that he was too lazy to worry, knowing that she would coax herself, she still couldn't get out of this one-man show of love, and continued to love deformed and humble. After

lost her independence financially and spiritually, she completely became a tool person, realizing that she was falling, but also helpless.

I think her approximate ending is what her aunt said when she persuaded Qiao Qiqiao to marry her: After seven or eight years, Weilong's income must be greatly reduced. When she can't make money to support her family, you can get a divorce. Under British law, divorce is quite difficult, and the only legal reason is committing adultery. Is it not easy for you to catch evidence of the other party committing an adultery? "

is so sad, selling to support the one you love, and finally becoming the handle held by the other person.

5.

There is nothing wrong with thinking about a better life. Aside from the trouble of changing schools near graduation, Ge Weilong wants to stay in Hong Kong. It’s understandable, who doesn’t yearn for a wider world.

is just if the beginning of the story, when she asks her aunt for help, she simply borrows money, then lives in school and studies hard, and then finds a job after graduation. Make money to pay back, or she is discovering herselfWithdrawing in time when her aunt is used as bait, maybe she can have a good future.

It is a pity that she can't resist her material desires and eros. She makes a mistake in one step, a wrong step, and depends on others, so she can only live particularly humble. The story of

originates from life, and this is by no means an exception. In a society full of material desires, how can we avoid the tragedy of Ge Weilong?

Please remember that a person’s independent ability is the biggest support that allows one to live freely and choose freely. Never

think about attaching to someone. At the same time, I also encourage you to venture into society more often. After you have met all kinds of people in society,

you will understand that although there are many scumbags, there are beloved men everywhere, and you will understand better that lovers first How valuable is self-love.