Extramarital affairs is a very big crisis to family harmony and stability, and it is a time bomb; for the parties, it is the biggest psychological and personal stain.
Extramarital affairs seem to be very sweet. Many people think that their spouse is not so cute, because it is very common for husband and wife to be together every day; if it is an extramarital affairs, it feels very fresh, exciting and unique.
For example, if we buy a pear to eat, it is just an ordinary pear. If we pass by the pear tree garden and see that the garden is full of sturdy pear trees, pick one when no one is paying attention. No matter what the taste, we will always cherish it. Even if you bite and throw it away, it will be a very exciting experience. . When
does something that should not be done, there will be a sense of excitement, a joy of enjoying the excitement, but this is a very dangerous joy. Especially after getting older, maybe others have forgiven oneself, but oneself will regret the recklessness, impulsiveness, and ignorance when he was young. Of course, some people want to forget it forever and never think about it again, but what has been done is what has been done, even if it is deliberately forgotten, it will always appear in memory suddenly.
also has an extramarital affair, to avenge the spouse’s affair.
A wife once confessed to me after she converted to Buddhism in the Three Jewels. She said that the most regrettable thing she had done in her life was that when she heard that her husband had a woman outside, she didn't know what to do. She just wanted revenge and had a super-friendship with a man. The man didn't love her either, but she was very angry at the time. The man took advantage of his weakness and comforted her. She had a super-friendship relationship with him in order to avenge her husband's infidelity to her.
She also came to listen to me after taking refuge in the Three Jewels. I said that Buddhists must tolerate others, and when they are tolerant, the problem is solved. Compassion means to forgive others a hundred, or even a thousand times. Forgiving others is to hope that they can change. It is not wrong for me to be bad because the other person is so bad, or worse than him.
After hearing this, she came to confess to me, and I said to her: "In terms of Buddhism, you should repent of doing something wrong, and you can't do this kind of thing in the future." She said: "How could I do this again? This kind of thing."
I reminded her again: "Don’t tell your husband, because he never knew about it; you’ve told Master, and you’re fine. If you tell your husband, the old case is new, it will get worse. The more troublesome it is, it will bring a shadow to your marriage."
Therefore, when encountering an affair, the person should look back in time. If the spouse is not aware of it, do not tell the spouse; if the other party has an affair, suggest that he and Tolerate him and wait for him to turn around to maintain a happy marriage.
This article is selected from the book "Drum Bells" by Master Shengyan
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