Chen Yu Joy Chen
New media creator
Best-selling author
Former Deputy Mayor of Los Angeles
What is the success? Although it is a bit cliché at the beginning with such a sentence.
Some people say that whoever succeeds will succeed. Others say that marrying a rich person is success. I think there are two parts to success. The first part is passion. Passion will meet my personal needs and let me grow. The other part is meaning, to meet the needs of the world or others through this work. True success, realization of dreams, including own happiness, lies at the intersection of passion and meaning.
I grew up in the United States, but my family is a very traditional Chinese family, so I was successfully educated from two Hs, Harvard and Hard Work. Many people often say that success comes from talent and hard work. Is this true? Think about it, successful people have talent and work hard. But there are so many people around who are talented and work hard all their lives, but then they seem to be just doing nothing, so there seems to be a problem with this formula.
Looking back on my own life, I found that I had a wave of good luck. At the beginning, I was a real estate developer in Los Angeles. When I was 31, I was appointed as the deputy mayor of Los Angeles. When I was 35, I started to do international headhunting. North America, Europe, and Asia help top 500 companies to find CEOs or other executive talents. When I was 42 years old, I changed again, writing a book in China and stepping into the new media industry. What's interesting is that I thought I would be a real estate developer all my life, and I never expected to join the government, or headhunters, or writers.
I am not a particularly smart or beautiful woman. My family is very ordinary. I am only 1.55 meters tall. If I don’t pay attention to my thighs and buttocks, I will get fat. But every time I transform and enter a new industry, I will be directly invited to the highest level in this industry. Why?
Observing the people around me, I will find that I am not the only one who has always had good luck. When I was the CEO of a headhunting company, I interviewed 4,000 most successful people in the world. They have different cultural backgrounds and life concepts. , From different fields, recalling their stories, I found that they have one thing in common-to catch a lucky moment, they will say that everything started from that moment and transformed their entire career and entire life.
We live in a drastically changing world, the entire society, the entire economy, and the entire planet are turning faster and faster. In a changing world, talent and hard work can only be regarded as necessary and insufficient conditions. Another necessary condition is good luck. How can
get good luck?
Recalling those 4,000 successful people would find that in their stories, they all did some of the same things to let good luck enter their lives.
First, where are these lucky ones hiding?
They hide at the intersection of different worlds, different cultures, different industries, and different fields. Why? In every field, most of the good opportunities have been occupied, and the biggest opportunity is at the unexplored intersection; most people have one field or some worlds, because they are afraid of getting out of their comfort zone, and competition at the intersection is less Many; if you create and work at the intersection, you will connect new people, new ideas, and you will create some new opportunities.
So we have to work at the intersection. For example, when Ma Huateng worked in a major communications company in the 1990s, he discovered the arrival of the Internet era and decided to enter the new intersection of communications and the Internet. He was able to enter the new intersection because: first, the opportunity was there, second, there was little competition, and third, he dared to create.
How should we improve ourselves and determine which intersection we are about to enter?
Some people say that creativity is a typical skill of other people's children, such as those artists, writers, or those who wear black senior sweaters and strange glasses, not everyone has. This conclusion is wrong. Everyone is creative, but you need to activate it yourself. There are two types of talents in the world of
. One is Type I talents, who are in one field all their lives, and all friends, colleagues, and new ideas are in this field. There is also a type of T-shaped talent, who like to communicate with different people, with people of different ages, and people of different cultural backgrounds, dare to step out of the comfort zone, explore new worlds, and start new hobbies. The most important thing for us to become T-shaped talents is that we spend 30 minutes hunting for strangers every day.
Second, how can luck approach you?
Lucky moments are given to us by people around us, why can they give us luck? Because of love, trust, and belief that we can help him achieve his goals together. So luck is not a gift, but you want to help to achieve a common goal. If you want to be lucky, you need to know the people around you and what their goals are? We need to develop empathy.
I was born in the United States in 1969. In the United States in the 1970s, Chinese were still a minority group. My school was all white. The biggest problem I encountered was how to talk to white people. When I was a child, my dream was to wake up the next day and find that my original life was a big mistake. I have white skin, blond hair, and beautiful clothes. If this dream comes true, then maybe other children will like me. Looking back, I found that life is a story of losing a man and losing a horse. Now I can realize my real dream in my motherland.
When I was young, because I couldn't speak English, I developed listening skills and empathy. Empathy was mainly listening. If you think that listening is too simple, just put your ears on it, you are very wrong. What our ears do is to listen, and listening is what the brain does. Psychologists assign listening to three levels. In the first level, you listen to the other person's speech, but you still focus on your own voice. Every word of the other party is thinking "how to affect us", but after you listen to it, you are thinking, "Why does the boss keep talking nonsense, why doesn't you praise me?" Or maybe when someone is talking, you are watching, behind him I seem to know people. So low-level listening is not listening to others, but listening to yourself. The second level of listening is to put down oneself and empty your mind, just listening to what he said, without thinking too much about what he meant. At the third level, I am not just listening, but fully paying attention. I really understand his meaning and goals. People are amazing, and most people speak differently from their goals. For example, if a relative in his 90s is scolding all day long, go see him scolding you. What is his goal? Does he really want to scold you? In fact, the reason he scolds you is because he feels lonely. He wants more attention. He wants you to spend more time with him.
We also need to understand ourselves and respect ourselves. I started dating at 18 and got married at 38. I have a lot of experience in dating. Every time I like someone, I suddenly become a little woman. When I think of him, I have empathy for him. I am a complete person. A woman who doesn't know how to cook, but I think about what he likes to eat, get recipes, go to the supermarket to buy things, and give him small gifts every day. I treat people like this, take care of them, but they take care of me. But in fact, this is not the case. Good men will be scared away if they are over-cared for, and bad men and selfish men will stick to me and cannot do without me. Women should not only understand and respect others, but also understand and respect themselves. They must learn how to say NO, not only for career success, but personal success is true success.
My luck has given me a good opportunity for a lifetime. Recently, my good luck is the opportunity to write two books. These two books have given me a lot of new media cooperation. I recently worked on new media in China, doing some video and audio, which allowed me to discover some new potential in myself.
Now it's your turn, maybe I don't know you, but there is one thing I know, you are destined to make a difference, you must have some very important things, very important information, will make the world better.
Our world needs you, you are just a little unconfident now.
do you know? Whether you think you are good or not, this is an important step in your life.
Your life is a sacred monument, you either accept him, control him, or you lose him.
This is the work of Mary Oliver, an American poet that I admire very much. She told me how you should treat yourself. Life is only once, a free and precious life.
reporter | Bond
editor | Meng
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