"Don't Get Married Before 30" Our goal is not marriage, but love

There is a strange phenomenon in

. When we were students, our parents always told us "Don’t fall in love and concentrate on studying." But when we were urged to marry by our parents as soon as we graduated, boys were relatively better. After all, it was common. The idea is that mature boys are "more marketable", but girls are different, as if the fruits and vegetables in the market will be reduced in price at night.

is a hurdle for girls to be 30 years old. By the time they reach 30, they have become "older leftover women", and they will even bring a little sympathy in the eyes of outsiders, but is this really the case? Chen Yu, the author of

"Don't Get Married Before 30", puts forward another point of view. The title of the book can give a glimpse of her thoughts. What she wants to tell us is not the best marriage age based on personal experience or scientific research, but to guide our thinking about marriage and personal growth.


What is marriage like?

Is it the most important relationship in life? Can you always feel safe in it? Make your life complete? Let you never be alone?

Perhaps this is the prejudice of society, just like its prejudice against single women.

Regarding marriage, she wants to tell us that people think that married women are normal and single women are abnormal. This attitude belittles and underestimates the lives of all women. Marriage is not the top priority in your life, and it is not something you have to do before a certain point in time, so don’t pay too much attention to the way you should live in the hearts of others. Don’t because of the expectations of your family, the pressure of public opinion, and your age. These factors of growth and so on easily compromise and enter the palace of marriage. If you yearn for marriage, then you should marry the man you dream of and live happily with him. So, don't walk into the marriage lightly until you feel full of confidence, so that you can start the most beautiful journey that truly belongs to you.

Because our goal is not marriage, but love.

Do women lose their beauty and charm with age?

She wants to tell us that it is not. What you need is not permanent youth or a permanent supermodel image. Time does bring us wrinkles and weight gain, but the charm of women does not only come from appearance. You don't need to pay too much attention to your own physical charm, because it will distract you from your true self. What really deserves your attention is to learn to love yourself and let love shine in the process of how you show yourself and how you express yourself to the world. That is the real eternal and sexy thing you get.

What should the ideal partner look like? Rich, car, social status? As soon as you raise your hand and look up, he understands your intentions and serves them well? Perfect enough to pick out any shortcomings and never let you down?

She wants to tell you it's not. When you marry a man for money, you not only materialize the man, you also materialize yourself. Don’t imagine that men can read you and love you exactly the way you want, but learn to communicate. When we understand ourselves and others, we can give love to others and learn from others. The more love you get there. There is no perfect person in this world. Perhaps he is different from you in many ways, and even disappoints you in some ways, so you must be prepared and learn to truly accept him.

girls do not need to wait in place, if you find the right person, you should also take the initiative. You need to learn to attract and evaluate your life’s soul mate, learn to communicate with them, enjoy the time with him, learn to love him; at the same time, don’t care too much, don’t make you messy because of his appearance, you can try to change from ordinary Friends start, if he likes you, he will come back to ask you; if he doesn't like you, you continue to walk your way is .

Life is not a movie, it is not a fairy tale, it is not the marriage of two people together is the end of everything. It's easy to fall in love, but Yong Mu's love is another matter. There will always be all kinds of stumbling when two people are together. In the period of love, you may need to look at each other affectionately, but in the face of the future, it is more important that the eyes of two people look in the same direction. If your goal is love, then there is no point in aiming to win the debate. Maybe sometimes you just look at the problem from a different perspective, thisActually nothing.

If you meet the wrong person, you will have or are having a bad marriage. Don’t because you like his parents, you have moved together, you share a bank account, you have mutual friends... The reason lies with him. Be honest with yourself, think about whether this relationship will make your life more or less worthwhile, don't live just to survive. Don't feel that you need to settle down for a man who is not worthy of love. Any feeling that makes you not truly happy, safe, or proud is not good enough for you. Divorce usually causes great harm to women, but at least we can control and continue our lives.

Marriage cannot make you complete, it is yourself that makes you complete. Love is profound, but-marriage is not.

Please remember: you deserve to be loved, you deserve to be loved.