Jun.
4
Insights (WeChat ID: penetratingview)
author | not cheap boy
01
At first, Cui Yongyuan and Feng Xiaogang were friends.
In 2002, Feng Xiaogang and Liu Zhenyun planned to make a movie called "Mobile". The script was almost finished, but many details have not yet been determined.
At this time, Feng Xiaogang went to Cui Yongyuan and asked for some inside information about the host. Note that Feng Xiaogang did not explain to Cui Yongyuan what kind of movie he wanted to make, but Cui Yongyuan was unsuspecting and told Feng Xiaogang to listen to it all. During
, Liu Zhenyun also specially discussed the plot of the movie with Cui Yongyuan. After the
movie came out, many plots allude to Cui Yongyuan, which caused great trouble to Cui Yongyuan and his family. This naked betrayal of
made Cui Yongyuan very angry, because of this incident, Cui Yongyuan and Feng Xiaogang broke up. After
, Liu Zhenyun went to the house three times to apologize in person, and he personally admitted that the filming of "Mobile" was for the money:
" yes, shameless, in order to make some quick money. "
Cui Yongyuan endured, even though he was suffering from it at that time Depression.
did not expect that 15 years later, Feng Xiaogang and Liu Zhenyun would continue to shoot "Mobile Phone 2". Cui Yongyuan asked Liu Zhenyun for confirmation after learning about it. Liu Zhenyun made it clear that the new play was called "Circle of Friends" and had nothing to do with "Mobile Phone".
However, the final announcement was "Mobile Phone 2".
This made Cui Yongyuan intolerable, so there was the latest scolding war.
can probably see the essence of some people.
may be Cui Yongyuan’s forbearance that made them fantasize. For the sake of flow and money, they wanted to repeat their tricks and hide from the sky, but now Cui Yongyuan is no longer the one who swallowed his voice. When
faced the injury again, he chose to stand up and fight.
02
We may all have had this experience: if you don’t smoke, your friends give you a favor; if you don’t drink, your friends give you a favor; if you don’t play cards, your friends call you...
you may think this is just a trivial matter, and it's harmless. , It's okay to accommodate occasionally. Indeed, many of us will accommodate those around us.
But this kind of accommodation is making us lose our principles, and it hurts us unknowingly.
Haruki Murakami said: " violated the principle set by itself, even if it is only once, it will violate more principles in the future. " Many people at
are encouraged by their friends and repeatedly give way to the bottom line. Bad habits, serious ones may even go nowhere.
For example, when taking drugs, more than 90% of people take drugs for the first time because they are not careful about making friends, and they get into the habit of taking drugs under the bad example of friends. News of
embarking on a crime road because of making friends inadvertently are also everywhere.
And the beginning of these things is because there is always no principle in front of friends, so some people who are willing to take advantage of it, and finally it is hard to return.
has no principles for friends, and it is you who hurt you in the end.
03
I have a college classmate who is a typical good old person. Facing other people's requests, I often feel embarrassed to refuse and always accept indiscriminately.
For the so-called "friendliness", he often sacrifices his time and energy to help others.
You might say, how nice such a person is, they must be very popular.
But in fact, his interpersonal relationship is very bad. Because of his old-fashioned personality, he has almost no real friends, and some are just friends who want him to help.
In order not to let himself fall into true "isolation", he couldn't refuse, so he was very tired and often felt regret and blame for this, but he was powerless. The problem with
is that he has no principles for his friends, because without principles, others will not cherish or be grateful, let alone treat him as a friend. He puts so much time and energy into it, which is a waste. The more serious problem with
is that he has self-doubt and often feels a deep sense of frustration, which makes him even more out of place.
has no principles for friends, not only won’t let you gain friends, but willIt's not a big deal to make you lose your friends, and even make you lose the normal heart of life.
04
Some people make friends very cautiously and abide by principles.
such as Guan Ning. Guan Ning and Hua Xin were originally good friends, and they often worked together and studied together. Together they hoeed the ground and dug a piece of gold. Guan Ning ignored it and worked the same way, while Hua Xin picked it up and looked at it, then threw it away.
There was another time when they were studying at the same table. Suddenly, a high-ranking official's carriage passed by the door. Guan Ning was indifferent and read as usual, but the sound shocked Hua Xin. He couldn't help putting down the book and ran out to read. So Guan Ning cut the seats and sat separately, and said to Hua Xin solemnly: "My son is not my friend."
Guan Ning is calm in nature, while Hua Xin admires Ronghua, which seems to be not a big problem now. , But Guan Ning resolutely broke up with Hua Xin.
This is Guan Ning's principle: has three different views, so you don't have to be friends .
And he really did it, and he couldn't bear to give up or compromise in the face of principles. This is the most precious thing.
Turkish writer Orhan Pamuk said:
people do not live for principles, but for happiness. But people who do not have principles and beliefs will not be happy.
It is difficult to imagine that a person who has no principles and always compromises will get happiness. In fact, many troubles and pains in life come from compromise.
is like Cui Yongyuan. Facing the betrayal of a friend, it will undoubtedly make him more miserable if he just forbearance, and only by resisting can he maintain his principles and ensure the happiness of himself and his family.
05
No matter who you are, you should be clear about your principles and dare to say no. Doing this is not only a process of building self-confidence, but also allows you to gain true friends.
Such as Ruan Ji's blue-eyed Yu Jikang, such as Zhuangzi's Yu Huishi.
The more mature people are, the more they will know that true friends don’t need to be accommodated on issues of principle; those who need you to accommodate principles to maintain friendship will not be true friends.
has no principles for friends, and in the end, only oneself will be hurt.
—THE END—
☀ This article is selected from the public account (ID: shaonianlsg), insights are released with authorization.
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