Rebirth from the ashes is an idiom that refers to the torment and painful test of the raging fire, to be reborn, and to achieve sublimation in the rebirth. The idiom comes from the legend that the phoenix burned in the fire after five hundred years and was reborn in the ashes of death.
@Sincere Eternal
According to legend, the phoenix is the messenger of happiness in the world. Every five hundred years, it will bear all the unhappiness, hatred and grievances accumulated in the world. It will burn itself in the raging fire and end with life and beauty. In exchange for peace and happiness in the world. They can be reborn in a better body only after the flesh has undergone tremendous pain.
And this kind of love that cannot be reborn after marriage can only part ways and go their separate ways. For this reason, the divorce rate in China is increasing year by year, and the negative impact of divorce has caused many uncertainties in marriages, and made the unstable marriage life in emotional swings.
Love and marriage are both important parts of life's emotions. And beautiful love is even more obsessive. Throughout the ages, too many love stories have been passed down from generation to generation. Such as Romeo and Juliet, Liang Shanbo and Zhu Yingtai, Dong Yong and the Seven Fairies, Xu Xian and the White Lady. Although the love they have is fascinating, but because of the bondage of the old habit, it can only be Nirvana, but cannot be reborn. However, many real-life loves, once they transition to marriage, even without any constraints, they still It can only be Nirvana, but still cannot be reborn.
01,
A couple who can’t practice in marriage but Nirvana
is like a little lover in the middle of the two-year relationship. I participated in their grand marriage. At the wedding, the couple exchanged rings and shouted at each other in the wedding hall: "I love you forever!" The wedding was over and the two had a small life. When Xiao Yang and Xiao Xia fell in love, they had different personalities after they got married. Xiaoxia likes perfection. She keeps her house organized and tidy and tidy. She is also very generous and decent. She has become a good wife praised by her parents-in-law and neighbors.
But Xiaochang is different. As the fresh stimulus of the newlyweds slowly disappears, many of his bad habits are gradually exposed. Like smoking, like drinking, the bigger flaw is to be sloppy, unsanitary.
Xiaoxia picked up her front foot, and Xiao Yang messed up the house with her back foot. An angry Xiao Xia grinds, and an angry Xiao Yang goes crazy with a drink. The contradiction between the two people is getting bigger and bigger, and the relationship between the two people is getting more and more distant. After several rounds of quarrel, they divorced.
In life, we can always see a lot of unfortunate people in marriage, they all come together from the beginning of wanting to love. However, when they parted ways in the end, it was for various reasons. Many people complain that their marriage is unfortunate, but they don't know that marriage is a process of changing themselves.
Two people can come together. Although it is a transition from love, it is a process of mutual change and adaptation to each other. In the case of this article, Xiao Yang is able to get rid of his sloppy and sloppy ills, not talking about the bad clothes of the sweater, and will not break up their love, and if Xiao Xia is not striving for perfection, she chooses the appropriate method to help her husband to change the bad habits. Marriage will definitely go further and longer.
In fact, marriage is a practice. In this practice, there is only self-respect, self-discipline, and self-reflection. You must constantly check yourself, "It's important to have self-knowledge," and be able to recognize your own mistakes and correct them in time, so that both parties can adapt to each other.
The most important thing to understand is that although there is an emotional uniqueness to love and marriage, if you can’t practice in marriage, you can’t make up for your shortcomings. It’s the same with whoever you get married. It can only make your marriage nirvana. No rebirth.
02
Another pair of people in love who lost their emotions after marriage and failed to rebirth from the ashes
The man in this pair of lovers is my eldest cousin, and the eldest cousin’s girlfriend is his college classmate. The two fell in love during the four years of college from freshman to senior year.
Although the families of both sides are not optimistic about their marriage, they are unforgettable with love. They withstood the marital pressure brought by the families of both parties and married without hesitation. It can also be regarded as unswerving to love, steadfast to love.
More than two years after marriage, the couple became three. The eldest cousin’s marriage life has increased a lot of burdens because of having more children, making the eldest cousin busy with work while taking care of the family. But the eldest cousin didn't care about it, thinking that marrying a wife was just to fill the family with a quota for the good wife and mother. Although the big cousin earns a lot of money, his marriage life is by no means a problem that money can solve. He ignores the hard work of the big cousin, and has fun with herself. The big cousin has quarreled with the big cousin many times. The cousin still went his own way, and eventually the two divorced.
Marriage in the new era basically starts with mutual love, and few people can be bound by the family's marriage. Because the new "Marriage Law" gives every citizen the autonomy to choose a spouse and get married, so "my marriage is my master" is also the transition from love to marriage.
And the divorce between the eldest cousin and the eldest cousin is because of the dependence on the marriage, and the eldest cousin regards the cousin’s contribution as something that should be shared, and thinks that you should take responsibility when you get married. It is this dependence on marriage that neglects the establishment and contribution of couples' emotions.
Throughout many marriages, they are living a life without the emotional life of the husband and wife, and each other takes responsibility for the family, the children, and the voluntary labor for the family. They think that the purpose of marrying a wife is to teach each other. As a result, Chinese couples rarely have an emotional basis, but once they encounter a marriage change, it is too late to regret it. The pre-marital love can only fall into the flames but cannot be reborn.
Although the material basis of marriage is guaranteed, the emotional basis is life. The transition from love to marriage means maintaining and possessing the original intention of love, and consolidating and establishing the emotional foundation is the first thing. Since the two parties can be combined, they should have a solid emotional foundation and be willing to contribute to it.
Neither party in a marriage should regard all efforts made by the other party should be divided, but should be sympathetic and understanding, and should work together.
If there is no emotion in marriage, it means there is no soul, no life, and no value of existence. Therefore, in married life, if the pre-marital love can achieve the phoenix nirvana and rebirth from the ashes, the emotional foundation of the husband and wife plays an extremely important role.
03, the daughter who lived in my unit door, the love was nirvana after half a year of marriage
The daughter of the neighbor who lived in my unit door was called Xiaoli, and Xiaoli had to live with her boyfriend for more than a year. Married. Xiaoli and her boyfriend have personalities, and no one wants to give in when they encounter problems. However, the love between the two is still deep. Although there are differences in personalities, they both hope to alleviate the problem after marriage.
Xiaoli married her boyfriend and tried to resolve the contradiction of personality differences through marriage before marriage. However, because they had lived together before marriage, the freshness after marriage disappeared, and the desire to resolve the contradictions of individuality after marriage before marriage was in vain.
Both sides still go their own way, and because of the later birth of a child, the contradiction of personality differences has not been resolved, but the personalities of both parties have become more and more intense. A little noise in two days and a big fight in five days. You throw a bowl and I throw a bowl? After half a year, the two couldn't make it through, and they broke up reluctantly.
In real life, pre-marital love tends to make the one who loves the deepest become a fool. As the saying goes, "the deepest love is obsessed", and this love of love blocks the lover’s eyes, so that both parties can only see Those are the most glorious face of the other party, but more faces are hidden.
loveThe red thread thrown to marriage is bound by obsessive love. Once married, you can wake up from the beautiful love. And even if two people have excellent qualities, it is inevitable that the marriage can go on for a long time. In the final analysis, it is a sentence, for the happiness of marriage, one must change one's own personality.
The transition from love to marriage must be to crush oneself and reshape it into a soul. The happiness of marriage is not 1+1 equal to 2, but 0.5+0.5 and then combined into 1.
There is a Western proverb: "Keep your eyes wide before marriage, but close one eye after marriage." I just want to tell people to reform their shortcomings, adapt to each other, don’t stick to their own personality, and don’t try. Change the other party, your love can only reach marriage before the Phoenix Nirvana and rebirth from the ashes.
04, concluding remarks :
In real life, beautiful love is neither a fairy tale nor a colorful dream in the fairy tale world, especially the transition from love to marriage, which makes you experience huge changes in love. Woke up by the trivialities of life.
makes you feel that love and marriage are two different things that are drawn by a rope. And whether this married life can go on for a long time is like a spring silkworm shed its cocoon and become a moth, like a newborn baby. It needs to be tempered and painful after marriage. If your love can withstand this pain, your marriage can become a cocoon. Moth, Phoenix Nirvana is reborn from the ashes.
text / sincere and eternal. A creator in the emotional field who has experienced the ups and downs of life. Like reading, writing, and analyzing family emotional problems. If you like my creation, please pay attention to me. I will analyze the emotional issues of life with you one after another. Thank you for your reading and comments.
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