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In your eyes, all my things are problems, my marriage is a problem, my body is a problem, whether I can answer the phone or have children is a problem, I am a living person, not your pet Dog!
——"囧Mom"
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2020 Spring Festival is destined to be engraved in the heart of every Chinese.
Because of the new coronavirus epidemic that started in Wuhan and spread across the country, countless people’s plans for the New Year were completely disrupted. However, in order to control the spread of the epidemic as soon as possible, many people have abandoned their personal interests and responded to the government’s call to focus on the overall situation. , Or stay in Wuhan, or not return to Wuhan.
In an emergency, Fang showed one's moral standards and overall awareness. The producer of the seven Lunar New Year films in the Spring Festival file of
, in order not to gather crowds excessively during the Spring Festival, even if he knew that he would suffer heavy losses, he decided to withdraw the files collectively, showing a corporate social responsibility.
And the producer of the Lunar New Year movie "囧 Mom" went further and cooperated with Toutiao’s parent company "Byte Beat" to announce that "囧 Mom" will start at midnight on the New Year’s Day. Play for free. As an ordinary commercial layman,
may not understand the real meaning of the commercial operation of Bytedance, the producer of "囧Mom" and the director Xu Zheng, but they can see the New Year's New Year blockbuster for free at the first time, or raise their hands. welcome. Some friends in the
circle of friends said that even if you watch "囧Mom" for free in advance, you still have to go to the theater to make up for a ticket when the film is released.
has only been broadcast for three days, and there are a lot of right and wrong surrounding the film "囧Mom".
Numerous theaters and film distribution companies across the country have boycotted Xu Zheng and the company behind him because of the free online broadcast of "囧Mom", but most viewers strongly support him.
A few days after the film was shown, there was another dispute among the audience on the topic of "whether the film looks good".
Some people say that "囧Mom" has chaotic logic, few laughs, and low quality of the film (the Douban score of 6.0 is indeed not high), but some viewers refuted that "it is so picky for you to watch it for free".
Actually, Shuyingjun writes articles about movies, he doesn't like to join in the fun around right and wrong and gossip outside of the movie, but focuses more on the story of the movie itself to feel and think.
This is also a concrete manifestation of "not forgetting the original intention".
Ⅱ
The plot of the film "囧Mom", most viewers see is a warm story: a pair of mother and son who were originally in a tense relationship finally understand and tolerate each other.
But Shuyingjun saw another completely different version in the film: , a smart and wise wife who isolates and blocks the emotional “virus” from her husband’s family in time, and ultimately saves her life.
middle-aged man Xu Yiwan (played by Xu Zheng) is a "double loser" in a married family and a native family.
's wife Zhang Lu (played by Yuan Quan) is determined to end this bad marriage in order to get rid of his control.
And Xu Yiwan is also trapped in the ubiquitous control of his mother, Lu Xiaohua (played by Huang Meiying), and has a very bad relationship with her mother.
However, by mistake, Xu Yiwan and his mother boarded the same international long-distance train from Beijing to Moscow. The couple had to eat and live together for six days and six nights in the narrow space of the train box.
So, centering on the control and anti-control of maternal love and family affection, Xu Yiwan and his mother embarked on a ridiculous and touching journey of discovery.
I once wrote an article "Life Happiness Lesson: How to deal with the relationship between native family and marriage family? 》(Click the blue title to jump to the original text to read). I believe that if a person wants to have a happy and harmonious family, he must learn to balance the relationship between his native family and marriage family.
The biggest source of Xu Yiwan’s failure in marriage is notHandle the relationship between the two.
三
Xu Yiwan endured his mother's intervention and control on the train for several days, and finally broke out and shouted at his mother:
"In your eyes, all my things are problems, and my marriage is a problem. , Body shape is a problem, whether to answer the phone or not to have children is a problem, I am a living person, not your pet dog! I am fed up with your teaching, fed up with your obsessive-compulsive disorder and scepticism! "
and what his wife Zhang Lu said to Xu Yiwan when she left Xu Yiwan's heart is almost exactly the same as Xu Yiwan's mother's words:
" The biggest problem between us is how long you feel. A fantasy wife, what she should like, what she hates, how to say, you have all set it up, why do you want to reform me with perseverance?"
The mother's control over her son is passed on to her by turning around and passing on to her. His wife. In the
movie, Xu’s mother kept asking her son Xu Yiwan why she didn’t want children. Xu Yiwan said the truth in a hurry: "It’s not that I don’t want it, but Zhang Lu doesn’t want it, and the reason she doesn’t want children is because of us There are still problems that have not been resolved between the two."
Yes, it was Zhang Lu who chose not to have children with her husband Xu Yiwan and even resolutely divorced, but it was precisely Zhang Lu's choice that showed her commendable rationality and wisdom.
Xu's mother was unable to deal with the emotional "virus" in her marriage and family and infected her son.
And Xu Yiwan, the man, also failed to take precautions and isolation measures against the emotional "virus" of his native family, allowing this "virus" to spread into his marriage and family.
As time goes by, this emotional “virus” will certainly breed and spread in Xu Yiwan’s marriage and family, and continue to infect his children’s lives.
So the "virus" spreads among relatives, and tragedies circulate between generations.
It is precisely because Zhang Lu is aware of the emotional "virus" of her mother-in-law's strong desire to control her husband, and the husband is unable to block this "virus" from the original family, so as a wife, she can only choose to self-isolate. Cut off contact with pathogens and sources of infection.
This is her only choice to protect her health in life. Many viewers felt that the first half of the film was mediocre, but the second half was very touching.
Xu's mother quarreled with Xu Yiwan and left the train with anger, Xu Yiwan chased after her. The
mother and son experienced black bear attacks, severe cold temperatures and inconvenient transportation on the Baikal ice sheet at minus 38 degrees. Faced with numerous crises and difficulties, the mother and son finally reconciled.
The mother finally told her son the emotional story she had concealed for half a lifetime.
Xu Yiwan's mother and father, although they both built the Corps in Xinjiang when they were young, there is a big difference in their cultural and family backgrounds. The beautiful imagination of marriage before marriage was completely broken after marriage.
So their combination is destined to be a tragedy.
But Xu Yiwan is more than 40 years old, and he is still a child mentally managed by his mother. He can only look at the outside world from his own perspective, a typical baby-like "monary thinking" model.
He can only see that his father is his own father, but he does not see that his father is also his mother's husband.
Xu Yiwan only saw that his mother was too strict with his father, and that his father always loved to drink alcohol alone, but he could not see the misfortune of his parents’ love, nor the harm that an unfortunate marriage caused to both his parents.
The support and emotion that the mother can't find in her husband will instead be pinned on her son. This is the fundamental reason why Xu's mother always controls her son Xu Yiwan.
and this obviously tragic story just confirms the theme of this article.
is a kind of typical emotional "virus", which is a kind of typical emotional "virus", and it has penetrated into her bone marrow. There is another detail in the film of
. After Xu's mother learned that her son had divorced Zhang Lu from his daughter-in-law, she immediately fell into deep self-blame: "It's all my fault, I should treat Zhang Lu better."
You see, even if it is the failure of her son’s marriage, Ms. Xu habitually finds the reason from her, but never realizes that her son is the real subject of his marriage.
Wu
Finally, let us take a closer look at the true story line of the film "囧Mom".
1. Xu’s mother and her husband’s marriage failed, causing her to pin all her emotions on her son Xu Yiwan, thus creating the emotional “virus” of desire for control.
2. His son Xu Yiwan was unable or unconsciously to block the emotional "virus" from his native family, but continued to infect it to his marriage and family.
3. After his wife Zhang Lu realized this problem, she first chose not to have children, and finally chose to divorce, completely blocking the spread of the virus from her married family to the children's family.
Shuying Jun believes that as a husband or wife, father or mother, if you want to ensure the health of your family's "body", you must have three abilities.
The first is perception.
must be able to perceive in time when his family life has been infected with the "virus".
The second is the power of inquiry.
must be able to explore the root cause of this "virus".
third is immunity.
must have the ability to isolate and resist this "virus" attack, and have the courage to treat itself as a "virus" isolation blocker to prevent it from spreading through its own generations.
This is the Chinese New Year movie "囧Mom", which brings me the biggest inspiration in the extraordinary Spring Festival in 2020.
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[Profile of the author]
Shuying Jun, a psychologist who does not understand the law is not a good film critic.
reads movies into poems and turns words into light.
Read movies into poems and turn words into light
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