"Buy me a half-ticket!" "How can I buy a half-ticket! How do you watch the half-time movie?"

little brothers quarreled. The younger brother scolded his brother: "Damn it!" Brother

scolded the younger brother: "Damn it!" When my father heard it, he stepped forward and slapped him alone. As he beat, he reprimanded: "Who is your mother? Who is your mother? What kind of language beauty is this!"

used one eye to watch the newly released movie at

cinema. Someone ran into it and wanted to see it. Squeeze to the ticket window to buy a ticket. He took out all the money he had with him, and counted it. There was not enough money to buy a ticket. He reluctantly said to the conductor:

, "Buy me a half ticket!" The conductor was happy when he heard it, and asked him: "How can I buy a half ticket? Yes! How do you watch the half-time movie?" He replied, "I watch it with one eye!"

Fuel-saving

One person wants to eat oil cake, but he has no money. He stood in front of the oil pan, watching the seller's fried oil cake, and kept saying: "This is too much oil! This is too much!" The seller ignored it, and then saw that the person kept saying this, so he asked casually. He said: "You said I use gas, do you have any way to save gas?" He said, "Of course." The seller happily invited him into the shop, first brought him a plate of oil cake for him to eat, and then Ask him how he can save fuel. He wiped his oil mouth and said: "If you want to save fuel, just sell steamed buns!"

Four scholars ate

One surnamed Miao, one surnamed Ge, one surnamed Xiao and one surnamed Yang Lin Biao often eat together. After every meal, Yang Xiucai always wiped his mouth and walked away, never paying for the meal. The three talents of Miao, Ge and Xiao were very dissatisfied. They negotiated a solution. After the meal, each person wrote a poem with three identical characters and three identical characters. Whoever couldn't make it would pay for the meal. They wanted to use this method to treat the inexhaustible Yang Xiucai. Once, the four talents came to eat together again. After they were full of food and drink, Miao Xiucai first wrote a poem: "The three characters have the same head, and the three characters are the same as the river and the sea. You can find a big man and get a river, sea and lake. When you get to a river, you don't have to worry about a big man." Ge Xiucai Fu. "The three characters have the same head for the official family, and the three words have the same side with the silk yarn.

wears the silk miao, or the official official. When you become the official, you don’t have to worry about the silk yarn." Kangkuo, the three characters are the same as the standard beam and column. To build the Linkuo library, there must be a standard beam and column. With the standard beam and column, the Linkuo library can be covered." The three scholars of Miao, Ge and Xiao had prepared in advance. It was done soon.

In the end, it was Yang Xiucai's turn. After waiting for a good meeting, I couldn't make it. Miao, Ge, and Xiao Sanxiu jumped and jumped with joy, chasing Yang Xiucai to pay. Yang Linbiao thought about his pocket, and said, "Don't be busy!" Then he shook his head and chanted: "The three characters are the same as Miao Gexiao, and the three characters are the same as Yang Linbiao. With Miao Gexiao, you have to Yang Linbiao. Eat Yang Linbiao and pay for the Miao. Ge Xiao." After reading, he flicked his arms again and walked away.

The cat is gone.

bought two catties of fish from the market and put it in the kitchen. The next day, the fish disappeared. He searched it all over the pot, and there was no shadow of a fish. His wife reminded him: "Did the cat steal it?" He hurriedly caught the cat and weighed it on the weighing pan, which was exactly two catties! He was pleasantly surprised: "The fish found, the fish found." Suddenly he exclaimed, "Where is the cat? Where is the cat!"

has a characteristic of personal speech, no matter what the situation, wherever you agree or yes Yes, they are all like this: "That's just to say." Once, someone introduced him to a girlfriend, met, and the girlfriend said to him: "Let’s go shopping in the store?" He replied, "Then Still need to say!” When he arrived at the store, his girlfriend fancy a jacket, and asked him back, “Buy a dress?” He replied, “I need to talk!” The girlfriend took over the coat and said, “Open the money. "Hey!" He said, "That's enough!" The

salesperson waited for a while, but when he didn't see him paying out, he tried to ask him, "Is this afraid that he didn't bring money?" He glanced at the salesperson and said: "That needs to be said!"

is afraid that there is someone who wants to eat oil cake

, but he is unwilling to pay. He thought of a way and stood in front of a cake shop, shaking his body vigorously. The oil cake seller saw him look ridiculous, and asked him why he suddenly trembles, he said:

"make your oil cake scared." The oil cake seller thought: There are also those who are afraid of oil cake, how fresh! Treat me to scare him. So he was shut into a room, and there were oil cakes everywhere in the room. After a while, the oil cake seller opened the door and saw that he was devouring Han cake! The oil cake seller asked: "Aren’t you afraid of oil cakes?"

he stammered and said: "I have eaten the first oil cake, and then eat the first oil cake.The second and the third are not afraid. "The oil cake seller knew that he had been fooled, so he used an abacus to settle the account with him. He shook again when he saw it. The oil cake seller asked, "Why are you shaking again?" "He replied, "Afraid of paying!" "The oil cake seller laughed, learning his accent, and said: "If you pay the first time, you will not be afraid to pay the second or third time!" "