hand-painted: Jing update
Recently, Mr. Yang Ming, the chief human resource officer of New Channel, accepted an interview and shared his new work "Customize the Future with Children".
Yang Ming:
Life and Career Planner, Chief Human Resources Officer and Dean of Business School of New Channel International Education Group. He has more than 20 years of experience in human resources management and obtained a senior title at the age of 31. He is a devoted father. During the growth of his daughter, he combined the theory of career planning with the specific circumstances of the child's growth, guided carefully, and successfully sent his daughter to a prestigious American school. "China Education News" published his opinion articles many times.
Every adolescent child has his own idol. He may be a knight who helps the poor, he may be a singer who can sing and dance well, or he may be a movie star with acting skills, good looks, and wandering in different roles. When adolescent children fall in love with star chasing and are crazy about it, how can parents guide them correctly? When small ideals hit the big world, how can parents help their children build self-confidence? In the interview with
, Mr. Yang Ming not only solved these problems by quoting scriptures, but also shared his and his daughter's way of getting along with his daughter, the heart of boxing, and the best way to teach his adolescent daughter. Cultivating a hobby with children, sharing an experience, and liking a celebrity together are all small keys to open the door to cooperation, remember to take it!
This article is selected from "Customize the Future with Children", Peking University Press
Facing the world, curiosity alone is not enough. Curiosity can bring infinite possibilities, but curiosity is like water without any guidance. It is likely to be flooded. It is of course very difficult for to achieve correct guidance. Although many children are curious about the world, they have not controlled them, and parents have not guided these curiosities well. The consequences of this are not optimistic, because curiosity may be It will lead adolescents to positive sunshine, and may lead them astray.
For example, chasing stars. Who hasn't chased stars in adolescent children? A life without a star is incomplete, and a life without an idol is flawed. However, many times, parents who chased stars more than 20 years ago now often tell their children: "What can those stars have to follow? Isn't it just making a movie, TV series, and holding a concert? "Sound familiar, right? That's what parents said more than 20 years ago, and now parents say this to their children, as if life is a cyclical circle.
People who are already parents now think about it, and they will wonder why their parents would oppose the matter of chasing stars? What they hate is not these stars, because they don't know them at all, but they know that these stars will take up children's study and rest time, and they even think that star-chasing will take up part of the love that children should have given them. This is what generations of parents look like. Whenever a child talks about celebrities with joy, many parents will pour out cold water: "When you look at you so excited, have you never seen you say that you are so happy when you study?" In fact, there is another sentence in their hearts: "Parents How come you have never seen you talk about your parents being so happy when you are so old?"
But does it not work for children to chase stars? It seems that no parent generation has ever succeeded. The best way for parents in ancient China to deal with this matter is to promote various sages, so that parents and children worship the same group of people, such as Confucius. But now the media makes children know much more about celebrities than Confucius, so this method is obviously not so competitive. manages children's curiosity in a compulsory way, and it has never been successful. What parents should do is "stand with them bravely and set out for the world"!
In recent years, I have often been invited to various middle schools to give lectures to share with middle school students how to understand the world and plan life consciously. When sharing, I will share some photos of popular stars with them. When they see the photos, many children are very excited, and there will be a "wow" under the stage. For example, a celebrity who was very popular in the past two years, I don't know how many parents would call his name when they saw the photo, but the children basically knew him.
He has a large group of crazy fans in China and South Korea, maybe a lot of children’s bedroom wallsThere is his poster. If you find that your child likes this big boy, what would you think? The reaction of most parents is, oh, another star! Then go to work on other things, because you don't care who he is, let alone the influence he might have on the child. Unless one day your child’s obsession with this star affects your studies and affects your relationship, before that, you won’t care who he is!
But out of curiosity, I learned about this young man on the Internet, and found that his influence among young people is very large and the degree of influence is very deep. He has not been smooth sailing to this day. He was no different from other children before the age of 18. He was also an ordinary child. But when he was 18 years old, he was discovered by scouts in South Korea and joined a performing arts company as an intern. During his internship, he had a language problem, and the teachers and staff who taught talent did not understand Chinese. At the same time, he himself has no foundation in acting, and his congenital conditions are not good. He has had asthma, and people with this disease are not suitable for heavy exercise dance exercises. In addition, he had no income during his studies.
At the same time, in order to maintain the body, it is necessary to restrict diet; in order to ensure concentration during training, the company requires unified work and rest time, cut off contact with the outside world, and even family members are not allowed to see casually. He has to train for 10 hours a day in singing and dancing, body shape, acting skills and other aspects. Among them, he practiced dancing for 4 hours from 8 o'clock to 12 o'clock every night, and this is only theoretical, because the teacher requires that if you sweat during practice If you can’t fill half a small bucket, you should continue practicing. I don’t know how big the bucket is, but I believe it will never be smaller than the bowl. If these physical trainings can be sustained, the elimination every few months will put tremendous pressure on every interns. Because once they are eliminated, they will leave the company, which also means that the previous pains are for nothing. Every few months there will be fewer familiar faces around him. Some are eliminated by the company, and some cannot be sustained by themselves. I believe he has experienced all kinds of entanglements, but he persisted.
How many children around us can have this kind of belief and perseverance? Is this perseverance a positive energy that can make the fire of life burn? But do parents know this? Many parents think that the reason why children like celebrities is just because of their good looks, but will parents use positive examples of celebrities to guide their children? Not many times, because the parents do not know or plan to know the idol of the child, let alone understand the idol.
I said earlier that we should guide children out of the closed-loop world, but in fact many parents themselves are in the closed-loop world, but the parent's ring is larger than the children's and contains more things. But because it is a closed loop, it is difficult to enter new information. In many cases, parents refuse to observe and agree with the world their children are facing. Because of rejection, we don't want to know what happened in the world the children face, let alone enter and face it together.
My daughter likes a movie star. At first I couldn't remember his name. My daughter was very upset and forced me to make up classes to watch his movies. I watched two of them and found that this movie star did a good job. At the same time, almost all of his movies were positive, sunny and full of positive energy. Later, I learned that my daughter was studying in a field alone. When she was lonely and fragile, she watched several films in which the movie star participated. She was moved to a mess and gained the courage and strength to continue to struggle.
In fact, when is growing up, it is far from enough to just absorb energy from parents, because after all, parents have their own limitations. If children only learn from their parents and only get them from their parents, then they will certainly not be stronger than their parents or better than their parents, and they are probably just copies of their parents. When they face the wider world, if parents can participate in it, use their parents’ experience and wisdom to discover the positive information and energy in the things their children like, and guide them to extract it. This is what parents are helping their children to establish The way to think about the road map is also the ultimate way for parents to try to help their children open their hearts.
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