When I met Liu Yan, she had just finished recording the reality show after the first performance of "Chengfeng 2024". The day before, I finished recording at three or four in the morning. It seemed very relaxing to finish the work at 7 o'clock this night. Liu Yan answered my question while coughing. In past impressions, "Riding the Wind" is a very intense program, involving learning to dance, learn songs, and record reality shows...the schedule is intensive and the affairs are complicated. But Liu Yan is very adaptable to this rhythm. She said: "I think it's normal. Isn't this how this show should be?"
The 43-year-old Liu Yan has been in the entertainment industry for almost 20 years and has long occupied a place in the ups and downs of the entertainment industry. There are not many words surrounding her, but they have become the foundation of her life. She is often described as a "desperate third lady". In 2005, she debuted as a host, hosting more than 90 evening shows, participating in 111 variety shows, and at her most productive time, she hosted 11 daily/weekly programs at the same time every week. In 2007, she switched careers to the entertainment industry and has so far appeared in 56 movies and 43 TV series. Before
debuted, she worked as a nurse and participated in an audition. She used her little free time to go to night school and take self-study exams. She spent more than half of her salary to sign up for computer classes. She was one of the first people in the hospital to learn to use office software.
She said: "The word 'lie flat' will never appear in my life, unless I am really dead and lie flat there for as long as I want."
In media reports, Liu Yan is shrewd and beautiful. Yan never misses any opportunity and is always running. She once gained attention because of her figure, and came with strange looks and numerous rumors. In the early days of transitioning into an actor, TV dramas came to her, either asking her to be a stable vase, or wanting her to provide topics for the show - her role was clear, aimed at consumption, and had nothing to do with professionalism. For a long time, the name "Liuyan" has been surrounded by a fragrant smell.
Therefore, although the program continues, the series continues, and the face often appears, the real Liu Yan seems to have never been taken seriously. Her body may be her weapon to attract attention, but her persistent efforts and constant core are the reasons for continuing her professional life. After being trapped by stereotypes in her career as an actress, she learned the hard way, stopped playing repetitive roles, and focused on choosing scripts. Her hard work has shown results after many years. She played the role of Cousin in "Young Marshal", Mu Qianqian in "Martial Arts", Sun Sanniang in "Meng Hua Lu"... In 2018, she starred in the movie "The Beneficiary", with Yue Miaomiao After Yi Jiao won the Macau Film Festival, she was also nominated for the Golden Rooster Award for Best Actress. As an actor, he finally received awards recognition.
Movie "The Big Winner", 2020
Liu Yan positions herself as, "Familiar to the public, but not that familiar." Even for people around her, it is very difficult to enter her world. When "The Beneficiary" was released in 2019, Liu Yan and another starring Dapeng had a conversation during the film's promotion period. The two have known each other for more than ten years. Not long after they met, Dapeng already regarded her as a friend, but she did not until 2017 When her father was hospitalized due to illness, Dapeng was the first to go to the hospital to visit her. When her father passed away in 2018, Dapeng helped prepare for the memorial service, and only then did she decide that Dapeng was her lifelong friend.
Movie "The Beneficiary", 2019
Liu Yan has big ideas. When she was a child, she clamored to change her name. Her original name was "Yangliu", but the rate of duplicate names was too high, and there were three Yangliu in one grade. She kept the "Liu" in "Yangliu" as her surname, and chose the word "Yan" from a bunch of characters given by the fortune teller, because "stones from other mountains can attack jade." The fortune teller said: "The little girl is so special."
Now, she is more accustomed to people around her calling her "Zhu Xiaomei", which is also her WeChat name. When Liu Yan was born, her family was fined 250 yuan. As a result, the whole family did not eat meat during the Chinese New Year for several years. At first, she had no name. When her uncles and aunts asked her father, her father said, "My name is 250." Liu Yan also said seriously: "I am not 250, I bought it for 250 yuan."
The uncles and aunts gave her a random name, and her father's surname was Zhu, whose mother’s surname is Yang, has the character plum in her name, so some people call her “Yang Yang” and others call her “Zhu Zhu”. One day an uncle called her: "Zhu Xiaomei!" When Liu Yan grew up, she didn't know why she particularly liked this name.
The TV series "Menghualu", 2022
The name is one of the few rebellious things she is willing to show to others. Most of the time, she is traditional, obedient, and decent, just like her personal signature that she has used for more than 20 years: do things according to God's will, and go against it. Be a person with personality.
The following is Liu Yan's dictation:
Actor
"Riding the Wind" approached me before. I like the stage, but I feel that I am not strong enough. What am I here for? What am I fighting for? Later I discovered that the stage is very tolerant. It hopes that every sister is a flower of a different color, and the audience will not dislike you because you can't sing or dance well, but they will because you should sing and dance well. But I didn’t do it and gave up on you. Therefore, the sister who strives hard will always be the most loved by the audience. This is very touching. The chief director of
said that I would be positioned as a host + crossover. I said that I have been an actor for more than ten years, so why am I still a host? Never write like that. I especially want others to recognize me as an actor.
I got started relatively quickly because I never lose track when reciting lines. All the actors were amazed: How can you memorize a few pages? This kind of lines is much easier to memorize than the host's words. The host's words are blunt and cannot miss advertisers or sponsors, nor can they mispronounce the names of guests. In fact, the preface does not match the words in the back, and it is often called "process". But the lines in the script have logic and context, so how could they be forgotten?
Liu Yan performed in the variety show "Chengfeng 2024" (provided by interviewee/picture)
The way I learn is to copy. The assistant director teaches me how to act, and I just copy. When I was filming "Famous Catchers" (around 2013), I told the director: In this line, he is my boss, and such harsh words should be spoken by my assistant. The director said yes, it should be you. The agent joked with me: "You are now 'stealing lines'." In fact, it was me who started to come up with ideas for my own role.
But I didn’t dare to think about becoming an actor (at the beginning). I just felt that I had “two feet in two boats” and wanted to see if I could stand firm. I am more determined to be an actor because I have always been filming. But as a host, I don’t always have a show. (2015) I saw the end of Ray’s last ace program "Music Chart", which was very sad. At that time, he was the company's ace host only when he hosted the annual ceremony of "Music Chart". When I was still a newcomer, I could be on the stage of a grand ceremony with Wu Zongxian or other big-name hosts. The top male and female singers in the Chinese music industry gathered together. That was the killing part (wonderful moment) of my life. But even this flagship program and ceremony that all top celebrities had to attend when entering the market has also fallen behind.
After filming "Painting on the Wall" (2011), I wanted to focus on the actors. It was the second movie in my life. Director Chen Jiashang wrote the role specifically for me. After it was released, it attracted attention. I gained traffic and popularity, and I was invited to guest star in many major dramas. I came here with great joy, and had a simple and beautiful wish: I would make a guest appearance in this role, and one day I might be able to play the director's heroine. But I never waited for such an opportunity.
It took me several years to realize the damage that the popularity and attention had brought to my identity as an actor - stereotypes, and all the roles I was offered were the same type. They didn't question my acting skills, but they didn't believe I could handle characters they thought were other than mine. I don't even have such a chance.
Until one day when I was filming "Young Marshal" (2015), director Zhang Li invited me to play the role of cousin sister-in-law. The character's prototype is said to be a prostitute, and there is no highlight in the play. Why would I play such a superficial, symbolic role? People around me say that Director Zhang Li is a very good director in China, and he has a different feeling when filming. I went anyway. I put on makeup and waited there for a long time. Even the color of my scarf had to be matched by Uncle Li on the spot. I didn't talk to him much, and I was worried after the filming. Is he satisfied with my performance?
The next time I saw Uncle Li was at the Magnolia Awards a year later. This character was nominated for the Best Supporting Actress Award. I only acted for three days and I was shortlisted?
I didn’t win the award, but my understanding of the industry has changed a lot. I started respecting the industry as an actor.
When I met Liu Yan, she had just finished recording the reality show after the first performance of "Chengfeng 2024". The day before, I finished recording at three or four in the morning. It seemed very relaxing to finish the work at 7 o'clock this night. Liu Yan answered my question while coughing. In past impressions, "Riding the Wind" is a very intense program, involving learning to dance, learn songs, and record reality shows...the schedule is intensive and the affairs are complicated. But Liu Yan is very adaptable to this rhythm. She said: "I think it's normal. Isn't this how this show should be?"
The 43-year-old Liu Yan has been in the entertainment industry for almost 20 years and has long occupied a place in the ups and downs of the entertainment industry. There are not many words surrounding her, but they have become the foundation of her life. She is often described as a "desperate third lady". In 2005, she debuted as a host, hosting more than 90 evening shows, participating in 111 variety shows, and at her most productive time, she hosted 11 daily/weekly programs at the same time every week. In 2007, she switched careers to the entertainment industry and has so far appeared in 56 movies and 43 TV series. Before
debuted, she worked as a nurse and participated in an audition. She used her little free time to go to night school and take self-study exams. She spent more than half of her salary to sign up for computer classes. She was one of the first people in the hospital to learn to use office software.
She said: "The word 'lie flat' will never appear in my life, unless I am really dead and lie flat there for as long as I want."
In media reports, Liu Yan is shrewd and beautiful. Yan never misses any opportunity and is always running. She once gained attention because of her figure, and came with strange looks and numerous rumors. In the early days of transitioning into an actor, TV dramas came to her, either asking her to be a stable vase, or wanting her to provide topics for the show - her role was clear, aimed at consumption, and had nothing to do with professionalism. For a long time, the name "Liuyan" has been surrounded by a fragrant smell.
Therefore, although the program continues, the series continues, and the face often appears, the real Liu Yan seems to have never been taken seriously. Her body may be her weapon to attract attention, but her persistent efforts and constant core are the reasons for continuing her professional life. After being trapped by stereotypes in her career as an actress, she learned the hard way, stopped playing repetitive roles, and focused on choosing scripts. Her hard work has shown results after many years. She played the role of Cousin in "Young Marshal", Mu Qianqian in "Martial Arts", Sun Sanniang in "Meng Hua Lu"... In 2018, she starred in the movie "The Beneficiary", with Yue Miaomiao After Yi Jiao won the Macau Film Festival, she was also nominated for the Golden Rooster Award for Best Actress. As an actor, he finally received awards recognition.
Movie "The Big Winner", 2020
Liu Yan positions herself as, "Familiar to the public, but not that familiar." Even for people around her, it is very difficult to enter her world. When "The Beneficiary" was released in 2019, Liu Yan and another starring Dapeng had a conversation during the film's promotion period. The two have known each other for more than ten years. Not long after they met, Dapeng already regarded her as a friend, but she did not until 2017 When her father was hospitalized due to illness, Dapeng was the first to go to the hospital to visit her. When her father passed away in 2018, Dapeng helped prepare for the memorial service, and only then did she decide that Dapeng was her lifelong friend.
Movie "The Beneficiary", 2019
Liu Yan has big ideas. When she was a child, she clamored to change her name. Her original name was "Yangliu", but the rate of duplicate names was too high, and there were three Yangliu in one grade. She kept the "Liu" in "Yangliu" as her surname, and chose the word "Yan" from a bunch of characters given by the fortune teller, because "stones from other mountains can attack jade." The fortune teller said: "The little girl is so special."
Now, she is more accustomed to people around her calling her "Zhu Xiaomei", which is also her WeChat name. When Liu Yan was born, her family was fined 250 yuan. As a result, the whole family did not eat meat during the Chinese New Year for several years. At first, she had no name. When her uncles and aunts asked her father, her father said, "My name is 250." Liu Yan also said seriously: "I am not 250, I bought it for 250 yuan."
The uncles and aunts gave her a random name, and her father's surname was Zhu, whose mother’s surname is Yang, has the character plum in her name, so some people call her “Yang Yang” and others call her “Zhu Zhu”. One day an uncle called her: "Zhu Xiaomei!" When Liu Yan grew up, she didn't know why she particularly liked this name.
The TV series "Menghualu", 2022
The name is one of the few rebellious things she is willing to show to others. Most of the time, she is traditional, obedient, and decent, just like her personal signature that she has used for more than 20 years: do things according to God's will, and go against it. Be a person with personality.
The following is Liu Yan's dictation:
Actor
"Riding the Wind" approached me before. I like the stage, but I feel that I am not strong enough. What am I here for? What am I fighting for? Later I discovered that the stage is very tolerant. It hopes that every sister is a flower of a different color, and the audience will not dislike you because you can't sing or dance well, but they will because you should sing and dance well. But I didn’t do it and gave up on you. Therefore, the sister who strives hard will always be the most loved by the audience. This is very touching. The chief director of
said that I would be positioned as a host + crossover. I said that I have been an actor for more than ten years, so why am I still a host? Never write like that. I especially want others to recognize me as an actor.
I got started relatively quickly because I never lose track when reciting lines. All the actors were amazed: How can you memorize a few pages? This kind of lines is much easier to memorize than the host's words. The host's words are blunt and cannot miss advertisers or sponsors, nor can they mispronounce the names of guests. In fact, the preface does not match the words in the back, and it is often called "process". But the lines in the script have logic and context, so how could they be forgotten?
Liu Yan performed in the variety show "Chengfeng 2024" (provided by interviewee/picture)
The way I learn is to copy. The assistant director teaches me how to act, and I just copy. When I was filming "Famous Catchers" (around 2013), I told the director: In this line, he is my boss, and such harsh words should be spoken by my assistant. The director said yes, it should be you. The agent joked with me: "You are now 'stealing lines'." In fact, it was me who started to come up with ideas for my own role.
But I didn’t dare to think about becoming an actor (at the beginning). I just felt that I had “two feet in two boats” and wanted to see if I could stand firm. I am more determined to be an actor because I have always been filming. But as a host, I don’t always have a show. (2015) I saw the end of Ray’s last ace program "Music Chart", which was very sad. At that time, he was the company's ace host only when he hosted the annual ceremony of "Music Chart". When I was still a newcomer, I could be on the stage of a grand ceremony with Wu Zongxian or other big-name hosts. The top male and female singers in the Chinese music industry gathered together. That was the killing part (wonderful moment) of my life. But even this flagship program and ceremony that all top celebrities had to attend when entering the market has also fallen behind.
After filming "Painting on the Wall" (2011), I wanted to focus on the actors. It was the second movie in my life. Director Chen Jiashang wrote the role specifically for me. After it was released, it attracted attention. I gained traffic and popularity, and I was invited to guest star in many major dramas. I came here with great joy, and had a simple and beautiful wish: I would make a guest appearance in this role, and one day I might be able to play the director's heroine. But I never waited for such an opportunity.
It took me several years to realize the damage that the popularity and attention had brought to my identity as an actor - stereotypes, and all the roles I was offered were the same type. They didn't question my acting skills, but they didn't believe I could handle characters they thought were other than mine. I don't even have such a chance.
Until one day when I was filming "Young Marshal" (2015), director Zhang Li invited me to play the role of cousin sister-in-law. The character's prototype is said to be a prostitute, and there is no highlight in the play. Why would I play such a superficial, symbolic role? People around me say that Director Zhang Li is a very good director in China, and he has a different feeling when filming. I went anyway. I put on makeup and waited there for a long time. Even the color of my scarf had to be matched by Uncle Li on the spot. I didn't talk to him much, and I was worried after the filming. Is he satisfied with my performance?
The next time I saw Uncle Li was at the Magnolia Awards a year later. This character was nominated for the Best Supporting Actress Award. I only acted for three days and I was shortlisted?
I didn’t win the award, but my understanding of the industry has changed a lot. I started respecting the industry as an actor.In the past, when I was interviewing actors, I always heard that "there are no small roles, only small actors", but I didn't understand what it meant. Only then did I know that for a three-day guest appearance, I might get a spot in the Actress of the Year award. It turns out that if you act well, everyone will know you, not only if you are a heroine, you will be known.
From then on, I began to carefully select scripts and roles, and eventually "The Beneficiary" was released. I still don't think Yue Miaomiao's acting is so superb. She just gave me enough space and role to let others see me and start discussing my acting skills - no one would discuss my acting skills before.
I really like my role in "Martial World" (2018). I played Mu Qianqian, the boss of the demon world. I am the image of a demon, but I can become a human. I am a coquettish beauty who can bewitch anyone. As the plot develops, the character's self-perception changes from demonic to human.
My most frequent lines are to scold everyone and some unlucky demons. Director Zhang Li asked me to act with abandon, shouting in front of the green screen, in the desert, and in the virgin forest: "You idiot!" But I felt like a trapped animal. The devil is a simple devil, and man is a contrived person. She was ultimately destroyed because she became someone other than herself in this world, and then she couldn't live. This principle also makes sense in the human world.
Actors like us who are not from a professional background can only feel, learn, capture, and ask other actors for advice. I have a very simple and crude way to watch replays. I am a person who can play "Let's Find Difference" to the last level. I don't allow others to tell me my problems first, so when I am walking around, I will I asked my colleagues to record it first and read it immediately after recording. After reading it, I knew where I needed to make adjustments.
This is previous experience. When I was a host, others would intentionally or unintentionally criticize me for which part was too slow, which part made the guests uncomfortable, and which part I didn’t control well. After finishing my work for the day, after 12 o’clock, I would definitely go to the editing room to find the master tape and edit it. Go through the show again. Our dressing room and the review room are close to each other. When my voice came out of the review room, I immediately ran over to check to see if my state and mood in the camera were smooth, and whether my tone could be connected. These are the same logic as filming.
I am very meticulous and I will find mistakes. Others told me: "This part of yours is particularly good." I blocked them all and watched them myself.
After becoming an actor, I did not have professional and systematic performance training. I felt that it would interfere with my performance. Zhao Yingjun gave me several books, but they did not match my reading comprehension and professional knowledge construction. I am not a professional, so I can only adjust and improve my acting skills through practice.
I can still get fun from acting. Even if I feel uncomfortable during a crying scene, I still feel a superposition of energy and magnetic fields. I play a character. Although the scene is a virtual one, but I put real emotions into it, what will happen to the overlap of energy and magnetic field? Is this change in me or in the character?
Opportunities
I went to a medical school. You have to have good grades to attend this school. After graduation, I was assigned to a very good military hospital in Guangzhou. My mother is a Chinese teacher, and I grew up in a traditional family. Our concept is that girls are very good as teachers or medical workers. I did use my professional skills. When my grandmother was sick, I participated in the rescue. When my mother was hospitalized for rectal cancer, I helped her diagnose and complete the operation. My brother and I took turns taking care of my father in his last days. I still abide by a medical work He stayed up all night to record the amount of liquid he instilled and how many milliliters of urine he excreted.
I really miss the time when I worked in Guangzhou. I feel that I am in a big city, I am in such a good unit, I have a small house to rent, I am young, good-looking, and motivated. My salary was good. In addition to my monthly salary, I also had quarterly bonuses. When I got it, I enrolled in computer classes. I was one of the first people to learn to use office software. Later, I also signed up for Japanese language classes, went to night school, and took self-study undergraduate courses...
Those days were very busy. The nurse had to work night shift, and I had to go to night school. I had to adjust my shifts to match the time. Because we stand for a long time, we all have varicose veins on our legs.Because everyone around me speaks Cantonese, I basically understood Cantonese in one month, could handle daily life in three months, and spoke it very smoothly after one year.
After working for several years, my mother was diagnosed with rectal cancer. My family could not afford so much money for treatment. I realized that I should find a job that can make money. At the same time, I also wanted to return to Hunan to accompany her and take care of her. He resigned and returned to Hunan to participate in a talent show and became a local host. But the job at that time was not that lucrative, and I couldn’t see my career ideal or future, so I left again. Later, I saw the host competition of Enlight Media. It was an opportunity at that time. I participated, signed a contract, and started drifting to Beijing.
Working in a hospital is physically hard and the pressure of not making mistakes. Drifting to Beijing is a feeling of psychological wandering. Where is my foothold in this city? We are a producer system. Only with producers can we have programs and income. Record one episode and get one episode of money. I was very hardworking at that time. One episode of the show was worth 100 yuan, and I could earn tens of thousands of yuan a month. The company deducted more than 10,000 yuan.
My ultimate goal at that time was to make money, and I needed an opportunity. There is a steady stream of shows coming to me, and I can be appointed to some commercial shows, and I can make money. On days like these, I can't see the end, but there is hope. I feel that I can always reach a place with a sigh of relief. When I first joined
, I was assigned to interview a well-known director. I took an outline with 20 questions and waited for the originally scheduled 30-minute interview, but it was finally compressed to 5 minutes. When I actually sat in front of the other person, he told me that it only had 3 minutes. I can only ask the last two questions that were originally going to pave the way for a dozen questions. The director became very emotional after hearing this and yelled at me. I watched the replay later - this was the only replay I didn't dare to go to the company to adjust the master tape and watch, because it was a nightmare. But later, many programs would always show this part when introducing me, so I watched it carefully - —He scolded me for a long time. I particularly admire myself. There was no trace of panic on my face, but I stood up and said, "I'm very sorry, I'm sorry." Instead of running away, he walked out of the small room steadily.
After I returned home, my deeds spread throughout the company. I packed my luggage at home and prepared to go back to Guangdong. The program editor asked me to go to the conference room. I opened the door and was greeted by thunderous applause. The editor-in-chief said: "I am very grateful to the new host Liu Yan for providing such a good headline." He saw that I was a little scared and helped me sit down. He said: "Facing any strong director, we We all need to have equal dialogue.” I realized that this is the confidence and basic professional status of media people, and I still remember that sentence.
This incident made the people in the company look at me with admiration. They thought that I was a person who would do anything at once. So the company gave me many opportunities, and I took them all.
The education I received since I was a child is, "You are good, but you can be better." So the word "lie flat" will never appear in my life, unless I really die, lie flat there, and want to lie down Lie there for as long as you want.
Security
I have strong or weak insecurities at every stage of my life, depending on what I value at that stage. At the age of 30, I was only slightly famous, and the company didn’t give me much money. I had no savings and couldn’t afford a house. If I lost my job, I would have nothing. This was a strong sense of insecurity.
After I turned 30, I found that everyone around me was getting married and had children. I decided that I didn’t want to get married and wanted to pursue a career, but my career didn’t give me a sense of security. Because I have a bottleneck period, I have role restrictions, and I have stereotypes, these give me too much stamina, which is negative. I was not absent from my career and could make money to support myself, but it was too far away from my career ideal.
When I reach the age of 40, my career will be relatively stable and my family will have almost no chance. What kind of partner should I look for? I didn't even have the time or opportunity to try and make mistakes. Full of loneliness. But except for the occasional feeling of loneliness, life is perfect, so I feel quite safe now, and I live the life I want.
I don’t necessarily need to have a family, but I need to have a partner who is on the same wavelength. It's a matter of compromise.The biggest compromise I can make for this is to show him the announcement list, which day I will be free, and even adjust the announcement for him. This is my greatest sincerity. Do you know how precious our line of announcements is?
When I reached the age of 40, I tried not to be kidnapped and enslaved by work every day. I went outdoors, I climbed mountains, I learned diving, I skied, did you feel the fun? Yes, but not much. Will you do this again in the future? Sometimes I do, but I still love my job more. It makes me feel more secure and at ease. Working at
is my source of all security. If someone says: I hope you can go into another industry and make more money. I hope not. If one day the person I like or my partner says: I don’t think we have financial pressure, you don’t need to do this job for money, we can start another life. Sorry, I'm not in it for the money. And I don't think I can start a new life, you don't know me too well.
My work is rewarding and every step I take is rewarding. All the ups and downs, all unhappy particles and moments are ultimately my material. Just like I thought it was a very negative incident, but the company's senior management thought that I was brave enough to take the lead and be able to handle things. Many things are neither as good nor as bad as imagined.
When we were young, we said that hard work may not necessarily pay off, but if you don’t work hard, there will definitely be no rewards, right? There is also something called hard work that may lead to bad returns. For example, if I work hard for something that I think is best for me, how come I work so hard and end up losing all opportunities? I might even be unable to survive in this industry?
For example, if I fight for a role, I am very suitable for this role. I am willing to appear for zero pay, and I am willing to try on makeup 10 times. But sometimes he has identified the other person long ago, but cannot tell the outside world, and has to go through the process publicly. That effort is embarrassing and annoying. Not only does hard work not get any points, it also seems rude.
In life, I have seen many sad stories about hard work that may not necessarily lead to good returns. This is a way to gain life growth experience through trial and error.
I rarely suffer from insomnia, so I watch some videos before going to bed. The word I saw recently is "panoramic effect", which talks about the phobia of giant objects when looking at the earth from the moon. Although the description made me feel scared, I still couldn't empathize with it. I want to know why? And we only see one side of the moon, what about the other side? It turns out I didn't seem to care about any of this.
In this tiny and grand world, I find that we are as tiny as ants, we are insignificant, so don’t think too much. Cherish the moment and live a good life every day. Many things that I thought were very complicated turned out to be just a passing thought.
Southern People Weekly reporter Zhang Mingmeng
editor-in-chief Yang Jingru
Because everyone around me speaks Cantonese, I basically understood Cantonese in one month, could handle daily life in three months, and spoke it very smoothly after one year.After working for several years, my mother was diagnosed with rectal cancer. My family could not afford so much money for treatment. I realized that I should find a job that can make money. At the same time, I also wanted to return to Hunan to accompany her and take care of her. He resigned and returned to Hunan to participate in a talent show and became a local host. But the job at that time was not that lucrative, and I couldn’t see my career ideal or future, so I left again. Later, I saw the host competition of Enlight Media. It was an opportunity at that time. I participated, signed a contract, and started drifting to Beijing.
Working in a hospital is physically hard and the pressure of not making mistakes. Drifting to Beijing is a feeling of psychological wandering. Where is my foothold in this city? We are a producer system. Only with producers can we have programs and income. Record one episode and get one episode of money. I was very hardworking at that time. One episode of the show was worth 100 yuan, and I could earn tens of thousands of yuan a month. The company deducted more than 10,000 yuan.
My ultimate goal at that time was to make money, and I needed an opportunity. There is a steady stream of shows coming to me, and I can be appointed to some commercial shows, and I can make money. On days like these, I can't see the end, but there is hope. I feel that I can always reach a place with a sigh of relief. When I first joined
, I was assigned to interview a well-known director. I took an outline with 20 questions and waited for the originally scheduled 30-minute interview, but it was finally compressed to 5 minutes. When I actually sat in front of the other person, he told me that it only had 3 minutes. I can only ask the last two questions that were originally going to pave the way for a dozen questions. The director became very emotional after hearing this and yelled at me. I watched the replay later - this was the only replay I didn't dare to go to the company to adjust the master tape and watch, because it was a nightmare. But later, many programs would always show this part when introducing me, so I watched it carefully - —He scolded me for a long time. I particularly admire myself. There was no trace of panic on my face, but I stood up and said, "I'm very sorry, I'm sorry." Instead of running away, he walked out of the small room steadily.
After I returned home, my deeds spread throughout the company. I packed my luggage at home and prepared to go back to Guangdong. The program editor asked me to go to the conference room. I opened the door and was greeted by thunderous applause. The editor-in-chief said: "I am very grateful to the new host Liu Yan for providing such a good headline." He saw that I was a little scared and helped me sit down. He said: "Facing any strong director, we We all need to have equal dialogue.” I realized that this is the confidence and basic professional status of media people, and I still remember that sentence.
This incident made the people in the company look at me with admiration. They thought that I was a person who would do anything at once. So the company gave me many opportunities, and I took them all.
The education I received since I was a child is, "You are good, but you can be better." So the word "lie flat" will never appear in my life, unless I really die, lie flat there, and want to lie down Lie there for as long as you want.
Security
I have strong or weak insecurities at every stage of my life, depending on what I value at that stage. At the age of 30, I was only slightly famous, and the company didn’t give me much money. I had no savings and couldn’t afford a house. If I lost my job, I would have nothing. This was a strong sense of insecurity.
After I turned 30, I found that everyone around me was getting married and had children. I decided that I didn’t want to get married and wanted to pursue a career, but my career didn’t give me a sense of security. Because I have a bottleneck period, I have role restrictions, and I have stereotypes, these give me too much stamina, which is negative. I was not absent from my career and could make money to support myself, but it was too far away from my career ideal.
When I reach the age of 40, my career will be relatively stable and my family will have almost no chance. What kind of partner should I look for? I didn't even have the time or opportunity to try and make mistakes. Full of loneliness. But except for the occasional feeling of loneliness, life is perfect, so I feel quite safe now, and I live the life I want.
I don’t necessarily need to have a family, but I need to have a partner who is on the same wavelength. It's a matter of compromise.The biggest compromise I can make for this is to show him the announcement list, which day I will be free, and even adjust the announcement for him. This is my greatest sincerity. Do you know how precious our line of announcements is?
When I reached the age of 40, I tried not to be kidnapped and enslaved by work every day. I went outdoors, I climbed mountains, I learned diving, I skied, did you feel the fun? Yes, but not much. Will you do this again in the future? Sometimes I do, but I still love my job more. It makes me feel more secure and at ease. Working at
is my source of all security. If someone says: I hope you can go into another industry and make more money. I hope not. If one day the person I like or my partner says: I don’t think we have financial pressure, you don’t need to do this job for money, we can start another life. Sorry, I'm not in it for the money. And I don't think I can start a new life, you don't know me too well.
My work is rewarding and every step I take is rewarding. All the ups and downs, all unhappy particles and moments are ultimately my material. Just like I thought it was a very negative incident, but the company's senior management thought that I was brave enough to take the lead and be able to handle things. Many things are neither as good nor as bad as imagined.
When we were young, we said that hard work may not necessarily pay off, but if you don’t work hard, there will definitely be no rewards, right? There is also something called hard work that may lead to bad returns. For example, if I work hard for something that I think is best for me, how come I work so hard and end up losing all opportunities? I might even be unable to survive in this industry?
For example, if I fight for a role, I am very suitable for this role. I am willing to appear for zero pay, and I am willing to try on makeup 10 times. But sometimes he has identified the other person long ago, but cannot tell the outside world, and has to go through the process publicly. That effort is embarrassing and annoying. Not only does hard work not get any points, it also seems rude.
In life, I have seen many sad stories about hard work that may not necessarily lead to good returns. This is a way to gain life growth experience through trial and error.
I rarely suffer from insomnia, so I watch some videos before going to bed. The word I saw recently is "panoramic effect", which talks about the phobia of giant objects when looking at the earth from the moon. Although the description made me feel scared, I still couldn't empathize with it. I want to know why? And we only see one side of the moon, what about the other side? It turns out I didn't seem to care about any of this.
In this tiny and grand world, I find that we are as tiny as ants, we are insignificant, so don’t think too much. Cherish the moment and live a good life every day. Many things that I thought were very complicated turned out to be just a passing thought.
Southern People Weekly reporter Zhang Mingmeng
editor-in-chief Yang Jingru
