|Editor of Jiawen|Xiaochen
An Lingrong in " The Legend of Zhen Huan " is a very topical character, because this kind of person is the kind of "puff bag" we often encounter in the workplace, "Punching bag", it seems that anyone can bully.
On the day of the interview, Xia Dongchun made things difficult for her in public. After Xia Dongchun was given a "one-zhang red", she was humiliated by Hua Fei . Lingrong Shuangshang is not online? Business ability is not enough? Or work attitude problems? Neither of
, An Lingrong can be described as a rare and excellent employee:
has a good personality and does not shy away from the leader, and she will complete the tasks assigned by the leader; she also has many skills, such as singing, incense making, and embroidery. , will be frolicking.
An Lingrong is so good, how come he still looks like a bully?
After all, An Lingrong has always had these three qualities.
3 traits that are easy to be bullied, see if you have any?
1. On the day of the draft, Xia Dongchun dissed An Lingrong's outfit in public, mocking her as a small family from the backcountry.
But An Lingrong blushed and didn't dare to say a word.
It was precisely because of her bullying appearance that Xia Dongchun dared to make things harder for her. Including the blatant humiliation of her by other concubines later, when she rarely spoke out, she was always submissive, as if she had done something wrong.
dare not speak a word alone, the more he will exude a bullying aura. At this time, you will give others a feeling that you are sorry for not bullying you.
2. I am timid and will not fight for unfair treatment
There is an outbreak in the palace, and the Tai Hospital has sent anti-epidemic herbs and mugwort to each palace. Relying on the fact that he was pregnant, the rich and noble people living in the same palace blatantly went to grab An Lingrong's share.
An Lingrong's maids know how to fight for her, Zhen Huan is even more angry but arguing with Fucha nobles.
Fucha nobles said, "An Chang would dare to come and argue", but An Lingrong humbly said, "My sister misunderstood, my sister dare not", and also said to Zhen Huan, "It's useless to argue, but to cause trouble." .
This is An Lingrong's way of thinking, afraid of right and wrong, afraid of conflict, afraid of trouble, in short, afraid of everything, not afraid of his own interests being damaged.
In fact, what Zhen Huan said is very clear, taking a step back doesn't have a bright future. This kind of person asks her once, and there will be a second time tomorrow. If you don't argue with reason, she will bully you. What's more, this kind of anti-epidemic gift package is not so easy to get.
3. I PUA myself, fell into serious mental internal stress
failed to serve the bed for the first time and was sent out of the Hall of Mental Cultivation by the emperor, Zhen Huan and Meizhuang comforted her that "it will be better in the future". But An Lingrong's reaction was, "When the two sisters are still there, I don't have them anymore", causing Zhen Huan and Mei Zhuang to look at each other, not knowing what to say.
Later, the queen supported An Lingrong. After she was favored, she went to thank her with sincerity and fear. After giving Shu Jindu to the queen, she even humiliated herself, "How can a concubine and a humble servant deserve such a good thing".
When the six palaces were sealed, the queen didn't let her participate in the ceremony in order to suppress her, and An Lingrong also said, "I'm not worthy".
Because of one failure or mistake, he nailed himself to the pillar of shame, constantly complaining that he was incompetent and unable to seize opportunities. was not a big deal at first, but it was like the sky was falling when it arrived in Anling.
This is a typical self PUA, and the inner order is out of balance, so he has fallen into serious mental internal friction. The most obvious feeling of
caught in mental internal friction is "even though I didn't do anything, but I feel exhausted", which is also the fundamental reason why An Lingrong "can't fight" in the end.
How to fight back when being bullied?
1. Be a real person, face up to your own needs and feelings
From childhood to adulthood, we have been taught "don't think too much", "don't be so sensitive", "reflect on yourself first", but no one told us to Face up to your own needs and feelings.
If something or a person makes you feel particularly uncomfortable, be sure to believe your own feelings, because the other person did it on purpose.
Don't be afraid at this time, find the other party to show your attitude, and don't be kidnapped by the other party's morality.
"Pleasure Syndrome: The Good Guy Who Doesn't Know Rejection" has this sentence: The more you believe that you should be a good person, not a real person, the more you will be entangled and tortured by doubt, anxiety and fear .
Linlin just joined the new company and felt wrong just a few days ago, because her immediate leaders always said in front of everyone that her brain was not working well and that she couldn't understand human words.
Linlin once expressed her dissatisfaction euphemistically, but her immediate supervisor said that she thought too much, was violent, and was not broad-minded.
Linlin was really caught by PUA for a while, thinking that she was too sensitive, but only she knew the discomfort and resentment in her heart.
Finally one day, Linlin mustered up her courage and said, "Leader, your words are a personal attack on me. This kind of behavior is legally called an infringement of the right of reputation. I have collected evidence. If you don't stop this I will go to the court to file a civil lawsuit." After
said these words, Linlin was refreshed, and she was worried that the leader would wear small shoes for her, but she didn't. After that, the leader was a lot more polite to her. Even the old colleagues who were watching people serving dishes didn't dare to trouble her anymore.
2. The interests are damaged, and she dares to fight for herself.
friend He He told me about her career experience, when she just joined a financial company. After an old employee of the company, Sister Sun, learned that she was good at making PPT, she pushed all related work to He He, and said that every new employee started by making PPT.
He He felt that something was wrong, but thinking that he was a new employee and not very skilled in the business, he would inevitably trouble Sister Sun in the future, so he took over the job that was supposed to be Sister Sun.
Ke Hehe didn't expect that Sister Sun took the fruits of her labor and asked the leader for credit. The leader was very satisfied and gave Sister Sun a bonus of 500 yuan at the end of the month.
He He, who learned the truth, found Sister Sun privately and said, "Sister Sun, I have made so many PPTs for you, and half of the 500 yuan bonus is not too much for me."
did not expect Sister Sun to be very arrogant and said: "That's what you want. If you have the ability, go to the leader."
Hehe was angry but went to the leader to explain the situation. At first, Sister Sun didn't admit it, and the leader felt that he couldn't come down to the stage, so he kept talking with him. He He knew that she had to be tough to the end. If she couldn't get back the benefits she deserved, she would be the fish on the chopping board and be slaughtered by others.
He He still won his own bonus. Sister Sun didn't dare to bully her because she couldn't be fooled.
Therefore, when the interests are damaged, there is no broad horizon for taking a step back, and there is no peace in the years to endure for a while, only the contempt of the villain and the intensified temptation.
It's better not to endure it at the very beginning, rather than rise up again when it can't bear it.
3. Maintain your inner order and don't belittle yourself
Burberry's former CEO Angela Ahrendts once said in a TED talk: "Energy comes from passion and love, and this energy flows naturally in the breath and gurgles out. . This is a temperament that haunts the whole body from belief and pursuit."
A person's greatest source of energy is self-confidence and self-love.
is like what Zhen Huan said in the play, " It doesn't matter how others despise you, the important thing is that you don't despise yourself ".
If you look down on yourself and you are all PUA yourself, how can others really respect you?
Everyone has negative emotions. The greatest ability of adults is to deal with negative emotions and retain their own energy. When you have enough energy, you have the energy to fight the wind and rain from the outside world.
In the workplace survival food chain, if you don't fight for yourself, you will be easily bullied. Therefore, it is better to set up a character for yourself that is "not easy to bully, not easy to mess with" from now on.
