"Xing Han is Splendid" Shao Shang wants to forgive Ling Buxuan and his mother? Who is the ferryman in your life

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It is not to say that everything you write and share needs to be recognized. Thousands of people will have a thousand interpretations and preferences for a drama, but Yi said he prefers it. He uses words to find equal communication. There can be differences and discussions, but it needs to be rational and objective, and can even bring emotions and preferences. But don't escalate to personal attacks.

Yi said that he likes warm words. When writing the joys and sorrows of women in the drama, even an unpleasant villain is reluctant to use malicious language to describe it. The tip of the iceberg can bring us more thinking about life, and it is also good for personal growth.

In the drama "Splendid Stars", there is a question surrounding the heroine Cheng Shaoshang, that is, do you want to forgive the hurt of your mother and lover? The plot of

is that both mother and lover confessed their mistakes to her, and finally reconciled and forgiven, and everything was completed. There are voices saying why reconciliation and forgiveness are necessary. This is a kind of moral kidnapping of the heroine; there are also voices saying that the heroine did not forgive her mother and lover, just forget it, and don't want to care anymore.

Forgive or not, Yi said that I feel distressed about Shaoshang who locked himself in the palace of Changqiu and only accompanied the queen without seeing anyone, not only Shaoshang, but also all those who love Shaoshang .

Seeing the grievances of Shaoshang

Many people say that the biggest grievance of Shaoshang is that no one feels her grievances. This is indeed the case. From an objective point of view, whether it is a horizontal comparison of Shaoshang and other girls, or a vertical look at all of Shaoshang's experiences, it can be said that Shaoshang is not really unloved.

However, from the perspective of a young businessman, it is normal to feel wronged. Shao Shang never met her parents and brothers when she was born. Her grandmother and second aunt treated her harshly, causing her to suffer and even kill her.

For Shaoshang, she has been stubbornly living, just wanting to meet her parents and brothers. When others bully her and ridicule her, her greatest desire is for her parents to be there for her support. That's how

people are, the more they want what they don't have, the more they attribute their badness and misfortune to what they don't have.

finally waited for her parents and brothers to come home, but her mother did not like her. Just like when we were children, we were bullied by the child next door. We cried and went back to tell our mother, just wanting my mother to take us and go to the child next door to settle accounts and support ourselves. As a result, my mother cleaned up. .

Are you angry? is naturally very angry , this is Shaoshang's feelings for his mother, and it is also the biggest grievance.

is the most important thing for a child with a character like a small businessman to be seen.

Do you still want to turn a blind eye when you hurt yourself?

Shao Shang said, do you still turn a blind eye if you are bullied? In Shao Shang's view, his mother swallowed her voice for the sake of her reputation for being virtuous.

And my mother Xiao Yuanyi also said something, if you don't do it, or if you do it, you can't be held by anyone.

These are two ways of dealing with trouble, and it's hard to say which is better.

For young people, how can the damage at this moment be settled in the future? It must be this moment to go back, it is cool, free and easy, and happy life; but for adults, it is not about right or wrong, but about pros and cons. A moment of damage can be settled after the fall, because when the time is right, it can be settled more thoroughly. The joy is that the other party will never dare to hurt you again in his life.

Shao Shang can break the good thing that Ge Shi wants to adopt a son, but he can't protect himself, so Ge ​​Shi catches her mistake and almost kills her; Xiao Yuanyi is calm in the face of Ge Shi's various provocations, but once he is not able to protect himself. Catching her problem is fatal, and Xiu is directly driven back to her parents' home.

Speaking of hate, Xiao Yuanyi hates the eldest mother and Ge Shi, but the way to deal with these two people is different. one isThunder storm, so that Ge Shi did not have time to think, he was driven back to her parents' home, and the other was Xu Xu Chunfeng, who used her mother-in-law's best friends to influence and restrain her mother-in-law's words and deeds.

It can be seen from Xiao Yuanyi's attitude towards the eldest mother and Ge Shi, she has both anger and hatred, but when the matter is resolved and the two people get the consequences they should bear, she will no longer have any feelings for these two people.

means that I have never struggled with whether or not to forgive.

So, what about less businessmen? Shaoshang's definition of hurting himself does not look at the relationship between the near and far, nor the purpose of the other party. If you make me uncomfortable at the moment, then I must make you uncomfortable. Is it wrong for

to do this? That's right, but there is one thing that needs to be figured out, that is, after making the other person uncomfortable, are you comfortable?

Obviously, Shaoshang will certainly feel more comfortable dealing with those girls who bully her, but after making her mother and lover uncomfortable, she is not comfortable, but more twisted and sad.

Unforgiveness is secondary self-harm

We can see that Shao Shang was not happy during his five years in Changqiu Palace, but his whole person was depressed. If she would never forgive Ling Budo for hurting her, then she could start her life anew like her third aunt.

It's not impossible for her to marry Yuan Shanjian. The key is that she knows that she still loves Ling Budo, not Yuan Shanjian, let alone other people.

Well, this kind of unforgiveness is more of punishing yourself and making yourself uncomfortable.

Moreover, if you don't forgive this matter, for Mrs. Luo and Wang Yanji, Shaoshang forgives them, but they still hate Shaoshang, and if they don't forgive them, they won't suffer because they don't forgive. From

's point of view, Shaoshang's unforgiveness is effective for whom, for her mother, and for Ling Budo, because both of them later told Shaoshang that it was their fault, and I'm sorry Shaoshang.

's five years of unforgiveness can make Ling Budo relieve his pain by killing the enemy at the border, make his mother sick for three years, and make those who care about her feel more and more sad every reunion festival.

Shaoshang said to the queen that now the Chengfu people are prosperous, and there is probably no place for her, but according to the love of the Cheng family before her, how could she not miss her at all, not feel sorry for her?

You see, forgiveness and unforgiveness are ineffective for those who do not love you, but they are fatal to those who love you deeply.

Xiao Yuanyi has a good saying, why do you think he won't embarrass you, it's not because he loves you, you can be proud of it.

So, as for the people and things that hurt him, it's still the score. Some people and things don't even need to be hated. Just do what Xiao Yuanyi did with Ge Shi.

You can not forgive but you have to let yourself go

So, what do you do with someone you love but can't forgive? Shaoshang's five years in Changqiu Palace was like this.

Xiaoshang's depressed appearance makes people feel distressed, and I want to tell her that if you really can't live with it, you must not forgive, but at least let yourself go.

wrote in the book " ferryman ", if fate is a lonely river, who will be your soul ferryman?

In this book, the ferryman leads souls one by one across the wasteland, protecting them from being swallowed by demons. This wasteland is the state of mind of every soul, and those demons can be understood as excessive desire in human nature. This kind of desire can be either greed, hatred or delusion, and once it goes to an extreme, it will become a demon.

Shaoshang's heart is like this wasteland. If she wants to cross this wasteland and not be swallowed up by demons, she also needs a ferryman, and this ferryman is not someone else, but herself.

Only by following the ferryman can she successfully walk through the wasteland and reach the other side of her growth, and this ferryman is theover yourself. From

's point of view, whether Shaoshang should forgive his mother and Ling Budo is no longer a multiple-choice question. The important thing is not to let this question trap her and become the source of her pain.

If you have to ask how can you let yourself go?

I will tell you that it doesn't matter if you forgive or not, just at this moment, see how you feel, and in which case you will be more comfortable and relaxed. Then, just do it in the most comfortable and relaxed state.

In fact, in the end, Shaoshang didn't reconcile with his mother, nor did he forgive Ling Wuxuan. Yi said more that she believed that she let herself go and let herself live in the happiness of the moment.

(the pictures are all from the screenshots of the TV series "The Bright Star: The Moon Rising to the Sea", if there is any infringement, please contact to delete)