is not a one-man show, but a three-person stage play.
Father and mother perform together, and the family can be full of happiness.
Author | Miaomiaomama
"The Disappearing Child" ushered in the finale, and Yang Mo, who was "missing" in the corridor, was finally found.
It turns out that is not only a well-designed kidnapping, but also a long-planned escape of the child.
In the eyes of outsiders, Yang Mo's family is warm and happy, his mother Tao Fang is sharp and capable, and his father Yang Yuan is gentle and accompanied.
But in Yang Mo's eyes, the family is like a cage. In
, there are mothers who are busy with their livelihood and only look at grades. They fill up his spare time with various cram schools, but never care about his feelings or thoughts.
also has a father who seems to be standing with him, but is actually a false and arrogant father. He always promises to take him on a trip, but because of his mother's majesty, he repeatedly breaks his promise and sways from side to side.
The lives of his parents revolved around Yang Mo, but no one found him very tired.
He doesn't know he has ADHD, and he doesn't know why he always learns to get distracted and make his mother nagging.
He longs for a relaxed and happy vibe, but is always expected to have a lot.
This expectation was so heavy that it became a shackle to imprison Yang Mo.
In this family, everyone worked hard, but everyone was exhausted.
Because they are all paying for each other in a way they take for granted, they firmly believe that "I'm doing it for you", but they don't want to bother to see what each other really wants.
The mother was offside and the father stepped aside, but instead handed the child to the "C" position of the family.
Such a dislocated relationship will only make family members pull each other and fall into internal friction.
A good family relationship must be that the father supports the mother and the mother supports the child. All forces are twisted into one rope, and they go hand in hand and move forward together.
Dad supports mom
Education has real effect
Many people say that Yang Yuan has done his best for Yang Mo.
He will withstand the pressure of his wife, give Yang Mo a breather, accompany his son to play, support his son in raising pets, and even quarrel with his wife who only sees the children's achievements.
As everyone knows, this is the most taboo "demolition behavior" educate children.
In the eyes of the child, the father is always more talkative than the mother, so when the child cannot meet his own requirements in the mother's place, he will complain to the father.
At this time, if the father does not stand firmly with the mother and supports the rules set by the mother, but instead helps the child "speak well", it will make the mother's education instantly vanish and further intensify the family conflict.
There is a watch law in psychology :
When a person wears only one watch, he can keep the time accurately.
When he wears two or more watches, he can't tell the exact time and loses confidence in keeping the time.
Parents' educational philosophy is inconsistent, which will make children lose their sense of awe for their parents, and the previous rules will "fall apart".
tube boy, just need one voice.
in a family, momThe mother accompanies the child and spends more time taking care of the child. The mother is always the most concerned about the education of the child.
Therefore, when there are differences and inconsistencies in education, the most important thing for fathers to do is to support mothers unconditionally.
In the variety show "Diary of a New Student 2", "Queen of Gymnastics" Liu Xuan and her husband also had educational differences.
Liu Xuan implements militarized management of his son. What time does he get up, what time does he study, and what time does he play games... Every time period is fully arranged.
Although the husband loves his son and is forced to develop the self-discipline like a professional athlete at a young age, he never raises any parenting objections to his wife in front of the children. Instead,
cooperates and supports his wife, and uses to empathize with in a soft way to comfort and encourage children.
He is like a buffer between Liu Xuan and the child, reducing the mutual harm between the son and the mother, and like a glue, so that the relationship between the two people will not be alienated due to conflict.
Educator Dr. Hong Lan said:
"As a father, as long as my mother's education is in the right direction, I will firmly stand in my mother's position, understand and respect my mother's opinions, and implement her philosophy.
If my father is right If there is any doubt about the mother’s education method, you can avoid communication with the mother and avoid arguing in front of the child.”
The two communicate with each other and share the responsibility. Such a family is the best soil for children to grow up.
The mother supports the child
to help the child fly farther
If Yang Mo disappeared, the person who changed the most was his mother Tao Fang.
She used to be angry with her husband and hoped for her children to become dragons, so she wanted to make Yang Mo a standard social competitor through interest classes, and wanted to jump up regardless of the cost.
After the child was lost, she realized that she had never entered the child's heart, and never realized how much harm she hated that the suppression of iron and steel would cause the child.
The best support a mother can give her child is not material satisfaction, but spiritual praise.
Psychologists believe that children aged 6-12 are in the rapid development stage of diligence and autonomy.
At this time, the mother's care and understanding will become their spiritual food for life.
Academician Zhong Nanshan, his grades were poor when he was a child, and he always liked to skip school.
had an exam where he scored an unprecedented high score.
His mother did not question him or ridicule him, but praised him sincerely and happily:
"Nanshan, you can still do it!"
A simple sentence ignited the fire in his heart:
"At that time I felt that I was really great in my mother's heart, and my mother found a bright spot in me all at once, I had self-esteem, and since then I started to read seriously."
So you see, The mother's love and tenderness, support and encouragement, will bring much change and strength to the child.
Known as the greatest success master of the 20th century Carnegie said:
"Strive to be close to those who know you, trust you, and encourage you, which has a huge impact on your future success."
And mom, obviously Be the person who understands, trusts, and encourages children the most.
has something to sayWell, mothers are the best guides for children.
The real starting line for a child is the mother.
is the mother's love and support that determines how high and how far a child can fly.
Good parents
put each other first
The reason why Yang Mo ran away from home was not because his mother wanted to send his beloved puppy away, but because his parents had an unprecedented quarrel over this.
At that moment, he felt that perhaps only by disappearing could he gain the love and happiness of his parents.
This is actually the biggest danger of putting children in the "C position" in the family -
The more important parents regard their children, the more children feel that they are unimportant.
variety show " teacher please answer " in the Doudou family, that's it.
Doudouma graduated from Central Academy of Drama . She had great youth and future, but after getting married and having children, she chose to become a full-time mother for her family.
After giving birth to her second child, the increasing hard work and regret for not realizing her ideal made Doudouma very anxious.
often collapses to the point of screaming while tutoring a 9-year-old with homework, and even tore up his children's papers and piano books.
and her husband also quarreled with each other for three days and five days, and both felt that they had paid more for the family.
Faced with all kinds of "tortures" for his own good,
thought:
Because of his birth, his mother failed to realize her dream, and she quarreled with her father every day.
even thought of committing suicide to find relief for her mother.
When parents give everything for their children on their own, regardless of whether the children can bear it or not, the final result is just self-moving.
always put the child first, the child is suffering, the parents are exhausted, the relationship between husband and wife is frustrated, and the family atmosphere is tense, which will have a negative impact on the child. According to a survey by
: 99% of children do not like to see their parents quarrel; 76% of children will become afraid, fearful, and cry when they encounter a parent quarrel.
Parents are in a bad relationship and lack of temperature at home is the biggest disaster for children.
Once the relationship between husband and wife is misaligned, no matter how high the child is, he will be shaky and always fall to the ground in fear and panic.
Cui Xinyu, an excellent head teacher of the Middle School Affiliated to Renmin University of China, said in the program:
"If my parents were to choose the most important person in their lives, they might choose me invariably, but my real wish is that they can choose Each other.”
Parents put each other first and their children second, which in turn makes them more self-possessed.
A child who grows up in an atmosphere where parents love each other and has a harmonious family must be lucky, because he has seen what a good relationship looks like.
has a keen sense of love for health, and has always grown up in love and affirmation, so his life background is naturally bright.
In this way, in the future, he can live as a lamp, attracting love, happiness, and noble people to help him and achieve him.
has a saying:
"Parents are the two pillars of the child's world. If the two pillars are not only in harmony, but also tear down each other and say that the other is not tall and strong.
The child's world will become low, narrow, and may even collapse."
Only when the father sees the hard work and hard work of the mother, the mother will not be swallowed up by the helpless despair;
Only when the mother understands the child's emotions and fragility, the child will not be hurt by the pressure as heavy as Mount Tai.
Only when two parents respect and love each other and support each other can the home become a harbor of love.
Only in this way can children feel the happiness of being supported and a loving family atmosphere under the irrigation of love, and they will feel more secure inside and have more strength to fly farther.
