It doesn't matter if two people have different personalities in "Canglan Jue", Little Orchid does one thing and has sweet love

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In " Canglan Jue ", Dongfang Qingcang is such an unparalleled hero. He looks down on the three worlds and ignores everything but is gentle to his beloved. He is domineering and tough to everyone but also knows to respect his lover. He will learn how to smile, how to hug, and how to love for the little orchid. Even if the two people have different dreams, he will respect her ideas and support her persistence.

The question is, why do Dongfang Qingcang and Xiao Lanhua seem to have very different personalities, but they can fall in love with each other? From the little orchid, we can see a skill in interpersonal communication, that is, empathy and .

What is empathy?

Everyone knows about empathy, but being yourself is an ability that requires deliberate practice. Empathy is not only the logical ability of people to change their thinking patterns, but also an attitude towards life.

Confucius said that if you are humble and responsible for others, you will be resentful. It is about demanding and blaming oneself, and adopting a tolerant attitude toward others. Trying to be gentle and generous, you can stay away from the resentment of others.

Learning to empathize can not only form a stable and harmonious way of getting along with your lover, but also make you feel like a duck to water in interpersonal aspects.

If I were him, what would I want?

Dongfang Qingcang gradually lost his karmic fire due to the recovery of his emotions and desires. This made many netizens unacceptable, because in the hearts of many people, Dongfang Qingcang should be the invincible Moon Lord.

But what does Xiao Lanhua think of him? She did not force him to cut off his love for the sake of the people, nor did she force him to restore his lust. She used the method of empathy to let everything take its course.

Transpositional thinking, as the name suggests, is the problem of thinking in a different position. This position is the position of the other party and the position of a third party.

's transposition is a change of perspective, a change of thinking mode, and a change of profitee. To put it simply,

is asking yourself three questions while maximizing the interests of the other party in your mind. Is this way possible? Would such an approach harm my own interests? Is it acceptable for me to make such a concession?

If all three answers are OK, then you might as well use this solution. If the answer to one of the three questions is no, then the next step is to think again.

In fact, empathy is not just about transposing to the other side's point of view, but the ultimate goal is to let oneself stand at a high altitude and overlook everything, that is, absolutely rational and objective.

As the saying goes, you don't suffer from a few but you suffer from unevenness. Empathy at this level is to think from the perspective of a third party. How does

make both parties, i.e. me and the other party, profit equally? Is this distribution fair? Under the circumstance that one of the parties may have made huge contributions in the early stage, the issue of whether this distribution method is fair needs to be seriously considered. In the end,

was thinking differently, standing in the two positions and wondering if I could truly accept this result?

people are social groups, and emotions can help us think well, help us have the ability to perceive the emotions of others, and touch the environment.

In fact, Dongfang Qingcang did not take the initiative to resist the emotions from beginning to end. On the contrary, he had yearning and expectation for happiness, anger, sorrow and joy, and he longed to feel these emotions from the bottom of his heart.

If it were you, would you like to be a monster with no emotion and the crime of killing your father? Do you want to be a cold robot that lives only for work?

is the so-called, do not do to others what you do not want to do to yourself. Things you don't like to do may also be things others don't want to do.

However, it is difficult for people to escape their own nature, which comes from how comfortable it is. When people make choices, they often start from their own interests. The choice of seeking advantages and avoiding disadvantages is understandable, but when the other person is the person you love or care about, it is difficult to make a choice. At this time, using empathy can open your eyes, neither Aggrieved yourself to fulfill others, and you will not despise your own selfishness.

Where is the boundary between tolerance and toleranceinside?

Many people only see the silly white sweetness of the little orchid, but ignore the sense of relaxation of the little orchid. So, where is the boundary between accommodating others and embarrassing yourself? It's actually about how you feel.

Most girls, when faced with the opposite sex who are better than themselves in all aspects, will subconsciously cater to tolerance, hoping to gain the other party's favor, always in a state of fear and holding, but it is easy to lose themselves .

Little Orchid often doesn't regard Dongfang Qingcang as a Yuezun, so she can show a natural temperament.

people can only last longer if they get along in the most authentic state.

Equal love relationships are very rare, and you need to establish a sense of equality with your partner from a deep level. This is actually the product of mutual tolerance.

tolerance is like a quilt, you are willing to share with others, in the process you are active and happy, and you can warm each other, instead of being forced to squeeze together and suffer each other.

This is not only an emotional interaction, but also a sublimation of self-worth.

Tolerance is understanding after seeing through, understanding after understanding, and gentleness after understanding.

Accepting imperfections in ourselves and others

Many times, we just admire, not really like and love.

is as strong as Dongfang Qingcang, and will pretend to cooperate with Tai Sui for the sake of the world; goodness is like a little orchid, after regaining her status as a goddess, she has to give more love to the world.

No matter how powerful a person is, there will be times when they are vulnerable in front of their loved ones, when there will be ups and downs and setbacks in the journey of life, and when faced with choices, they cannot have the best of both worlds and live up to the truth.

accepts the parts he doesn't like calmly, neither arrogant nor arrogant, so that he can make himself like himself and love others.

pursues a free and transparent living state and makes oneself feel relaxed. As Sanmao said, there is a power called accepting yourself, accepting and seeing your own shortcomings. Accept your ordinary, but also accept your imperfect self.

Instead of lamenting that he cannot meet a perfect lover, it is better to master the skills of empathy, accept the imperfection of himself and his lover, and be as beautiful as the love between Xiao Lanhua and Dongfang Qingcang.

(the pictures are all from the screenshots of the TV series "Canglan Jue", if there is any infringement, please contact to delete)