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On a famous question-and-answer app, there used to be such a very popular question: "When you hate someone, should you turn against him?".
Below this question, there is a highly praised reply that answers: For example, If you met a dog on a single-plank bridge, would you choose to give way to the dog, or fight with the dog, and then Bitten by a dog? If you get bitten by a dog, then no matter what you do, it won't help.
This view makes a lot of sense. Many people care too much in life. No matter what kind of people and things they suffer, as long as they feel unsatisfactory, they will do everything possible to "care about". A life like
, regardless of whether it is good or bad, will at least be tiring.
67-year-old Chen Daoming's minimalist life exposure
Actor Chen Daoming has outstanding business ability and low-key life. He is a good actor and entertainer that everyone talks about. Except under the spotlight , Chen Daoming rarely appeared in public to express his remarks, but lived his life seriously.
Chen Daoming is very low-key. According to the famous piano performance artist Lang Lang, Chen Daoming's piano performance is the best among the artists he has ever seen.
At the same time, many artists said that Chen Daoming likes reading very much in private, and he was reading a lot during the shooting process.
But all these qualities have never been intentionally marketed, and they have never created their own "student" and "talented" characters, just like a lotus flower that emerges from the mud and does not stain Reclusive in the entertainment industry, keeping his true colors.
It is reported that Chen Daoming will take the initiative to take a break from filming for one to two years after filming a scene with a heavier task to keep himself authentic.
When an artist maintains such a state in a complex entertainment circle, he will inevitably suffer from various speculations from the outside world, and even low damage.
artists live under the light and will inevitably be evaluated by the public. Some media once asked Chen Daoming: "What do you think of the negative comments on you on the Internet?" Evaluate yourself. I have a clear understanding of myself. I know I can't handle this, so I can't take it hard, I can only hide away."
In fact, it is the same in our life, there are extremes between people. The big difference is that cannot require everyone to have the same views and thinking as themselves. In the process of social interaction with others, it is very normal to encounter differences or even conflicts.
In such a process, how to see through these things and learn to be tolerant is a very valuable quality in dealing with people.
is like what Guiguzi said: "If you feel the fakeness of people, you don't see it in your form; you can eat people's losses, but you don't move it in your mouth. Give people's kindness, don't say it in words; receive the favor, don't forget it. Yu Xin. " The life of a person is very long, and it is too difficult to be thoughtful in everything. In fact, if you can live your life well, it will be very valuable.
Even if you find some shortcomings in others in the process of life, there is no need to express them immediately; in the same way, you should also try to accept others' criticisms of you.
to remember, the way is different, not conspiracy. You don't have to worry about other people's opinions, just keep your true self.
Away from strife, far from self-bias
David Poley, a double bachelor of at the University of Pennsylvania and at at Yale University (DProfessor avid Pollay) put forward the concept of "garbage man" in his book "The Law of Garbage Truck" - in our world, individuals are like all things in the world, some people are valuable, some people are not worth.
There are still some people who are like people who are going to take out the garbage. Many negative emotions in their bodies are like garbage that has nowhere to be dumped. No matter who they encounter, they will throw these emotions on this person like garbage. body.
In recent years, cases related to the law of garbage people are not uncommon in society.
For example, passers-by who were harassed by drunks, pedestrians who were innocently hit by cars, and customers who were suddenly punched and kicked... When these tragic cases happened, people could only wake up later and remind those around them. people.
must stay away from these "garbage people" full of negative emotions in life. But this can only play a role in patching up the situation. In fact, for us, we might as well remind ourselves often before the case occurs: stay away from those who are riddled with negative emotions.
The famous German philosopher Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche said in his book "Beyond Good and Evil": "When you fight a dragon for too long, you become a dragon yourself. When you stare into the abyss, the abyss also stares at you."
We are the same in our meeting. When you are affected by the negative emotions of a person around you, you may not be able to detect it immediately and stay away. This leads to over time, you will be infected with this negative emotion to some extent.
When you find such a person who is full of negative emotions and cannot control your emotions in the process of social interaction, it is best to stay away from them.
The pattern should be large, and there is no need to care about it.
"Wide" is a very philosophical word in the Chinese context. If you want to better understand this word, or this attitude towards life, you might as well read the two words separately. That is, as the saying goes, "If you give up, you will get it." things that will happen in the future. For the people around you, many times you only look at the performance of the moment, and do not plan for the long-term.
There are a lot of people whose vision is very limited. When you achieve a little bit, you will become content with the status quo. This attitude will also have a certain impact on the people around you. A truly organized person.
should stay awake all the time and never stop moving forward.
If it affects one's mood or even delays the progress of daily life just because of a person around him that he doesn't like, then it is undoubtedly worth the loss.
is that you hate this person very much, in fact, you don't need to turn against him. After you get to know him, just smile lightly and continue your life is enough.
Our lives are short and we should do meaningful things. As for the haters, just let them go.
- The End -
作者| 汤米达
编辑| 万安
第一心理主笔团| 一群喜欢仰望星空的年轻人
参考资料：Jean Piaget Biographie. (2020, January 29).
微信公众号： first psychology
