Text: Old Friend's Handwriting General Psychological Counselor
I always feel that if there is no sorrow to set off, then good is no longer good. Just like Chaplin, Kim Kerry, Stephen Chow, and other comedy masters who present us with joy and joy, all suffer from depression.
"Trumen's World", "Detective Plane", "Ghost in Disguise", I think you have seen these, and are familiar with their starring Kim Carrey.
In 2018, when people gradually realized whether this once master of comedy had died, he appeared in people’s sight. Originally from 2015, after his girlfriend Kasarina White chose to leave this world, he lost his love again. Deep in depression, he had to choose to fade out of sight. The man who brought us so much laughter and laughter is actually not happy in real life, just like when he reappeared in people's sight, "I let you down, I am not a happy clown".
Seeing him, I suddenly thought of another movie, which is "The Life of the Disgusted Pine Nut" which is frequently cited.
He is so similar to Songzi, except that Songzi wants to please only a few people. Since he was a teenager, he has to please the adults in order to survive, and then slowly please the audience in the movie.
Many movies are so named because the characters and actors really have so many similarities. Like 1900, who was unwilling to be constrained by the world, Tim Rose, who was unwilling to make commercial films, and Truman, who was always concerned and hard to have his own life, and Kim Carey, who was always alive like this.
and 1994 was the most successful year of his career. But in this year, his father, who had been supporting and helping him, passed away. Father is gone, he put 10 million cheques in the tomb, maybe he knows that the person who knew the real Kim Carrey is gone, in the future he can only be the one in the eyes of the audience that can bring happiness, always happiness, not sad Kim Carey.
"Many movies I have made are tragedies, but you all call them comedies." I think you must remember what Stephen Chow said. That's right, his movies are always full of sadness in exaggerated, funny, and flattering jackets.
Probably, Kim Kerry, they are all the same kind of people. Although they seem to be entertaining the public, they are expressing their inner emotions in different forms. The price of doing this is overdraft or even distortion. Your true emotions . I think this is one of the reasons why they all have depression.
Speaking of it, maybe it’s really because of old age. When watching these movies, I am no longer attracted to laugh by the plot, but slowly see what I want to convey in it, and slowly understand the protagonist. We want to express some content through the film. And these things that are shown at the cost of overdraft and distortion of our true emotions are really worth sitting down and thinking carefully.
This is probably boring these two days, and I took out the old movie "Fake God" series to see the biggest insight. Of course, this is just my own insight.
But fortunately, this is not a bad thing, because I can finally see something extraordinary in some ordinary things, and finally in some laughter can see some things that are conducive to the progress of life .
Or, this is the so-called growth. From being unreasonable to life, wants to understand life and correct misunderstandings about life as best as possible, and then transform to become a partner with life and life.
I remember that such a thing happened when I was in high school, when I was going to school, I stopped a taxi on the side of the road. But after seeing someone inside, he waved his hand and did not sit down. The
driver was also kind and said, "This is far from the school, you should sit on it." But since I was young, I was so stubborn and naive. I still thought in my heart that you are pulling some people, so I don't carpool, so I don't encourage bad trends. Continue not to sit. The driver of
had no choice but to leave by himself. And that time I walked more than an hour to the school.
may be thinking in your heart, why this person is so stubborn, he deserves to walk for an hour. Although I don't care about these things anymore, if it were at the beginning, I would still choose this way.
Don't worry about saying that I am "really stubborn", because I did not choose this because of stubbornness.
It is often mentioned in psychology that the original family has a great influence on us. Specifically, the native family of includes several parts: family atmosphere, characteristics of parents, how to be treated by parents, some special experiences, etc. . Why does
say that these have a very big impact on our lives?
Because you also know that when we come to this world, there is only instinct. Neither understand the world, nor the society, nor how the society works. And these things that comes into contact with from the original family have become the basis for us to know, understand, and understand the world .
This kind of influence seems to be that when we live in a family where we call apples by pears, and we should not disobey the rules of defining elders, all the apples we see when we grow up are called "pears", and whatever the elders say will become Our imperial edict. And most importantly, we rarely doubt whether this is right or appropriate, and we take it for granted that the world is like this.
can "call apples with pears". Fortunately, if some regular things are misled, the misleading may last a lifetime.
But this is not a particularly strange thing, because has the ability to correct chaos and self-repair in ourselves, but most of the time this ability is concealed .
Yes, if I live in a world where everyone strictly observes a taxi and only pulls people once, and there is no carpooling behavior, then I will not have the rejection at that time.
However, it is precisely because of this rejection that I have tasted some suffering, so I began to reflect on whether my behavior is appropriate. In the future, the seeds of reflection in my heart will become more and more due to the need to carpool in order to hurry. More, and gradually grow up, and let me understand the driver better, understand others, understand myself better, and gradually I no longer get angry because of these, and no longer have the kind of anger that I walk alone for more than an hour. behavior.
Yes, no matter what kind of foundation we have acquired in the original family, we are likely to be in the subsequent experience, because of the result of our interaction with life, we want to make some changes to make ourselves better Adapt to the present and live better now .
Of course, this is just an ideal situation after all. In reality, we are far from being so flexible and aware of flexibility.
I met such a friend in my previous consulting experience. His problem is that his interpersonal relationship and life are getting worse and worse, and I don’t know where the problem is.
However, this is just a question raised by him. Specifically, he had been living in a relatively stubborn family before. Sometimes his parents were stunned for several days when arguing about who was right and who was wrong on a small issue. However, he is better. He won't frustrate people. The way he chooses is, "If you don't listen to me, I will convince you. No matter what, I will convince you and let you listen to me."
Because of this way of handling or this kind of personality, the friends he made in his life because of his enthusiasm gradually draw a line with him. This makes him very uncomfortable.
If you have such a friend by your side, would you draw the line?
If you are such a person, you are kind, and your friends will not only not listen, but also stay away one by one. You will realize that there may be a problem with your handling method, or you will be full of disappointment and feel that this is all Not a true friend?
is like being in a fake god. After Kim Carey’s life became a mess because of his own arbitrary actions, he didn’t realize that there was a problem with his handling method. Instead, he went to Morgan Freeman, hoping he could Change everything back again.
I think there are many similar situations in your life, so are you curious why we chose this way?
You see, when Morgan Freeman found him, he didn't believe him. When he suddenly realized that he did possess divine power, he just wanted to satisfy his inner desire, . Then it was out of control.
Because of his own indulgence, his life became messy, regrets began to appear in his heart, these regrets prompted him to go to Morgan Freeman, hoping that he would restore everything to the original.
This one and the other are all fulfilling their wishes, thisBefore and after, they are mainly self-centered, and there is no more complete thinking about this before and after .
And you see, when is capable, it loses its footing, and when it is unable to clean up the mess, it just wants "God" to restore everything to its original state . But Morgan Freeman is on vacation, and Kim Carey still has to carry the pot.
I don’t know when we started, we believe that "life must only have good, not a little unsatisfactory", "all unsatisfactory is the fault of others, society, and the world"; we don't know when we start You only want good things, reject all bad things, and become unable to experience a little setback. As long as you experience it, you want to quickly shift the responsibility to others and quickly clear yourself.
If I always buckle the top pot on the taxi, driver, and passenger, and always feel that they are not following the rules, then I may also lose the corresponding opportunity. does not realize that this matter is so repulsive and produced. I feel so emotional and cause so much trouble for myself, not because of them, but because I think about this thing like this . It is impossible to grow in these interactions with life.
If Morgan Freeman helps Kim Carey restore everything to the original, then Kim Carey will also lose the opportunity to reflect on where he is wrong and gain the corresponding experience, and he will always rely on God and never have it. The ability to solve such problems .
So, when you are rejected with a kind heart to help others, will you see your grievances or your shortcomings? Please keep the answers to this question
in your heart, but don't despise them, because they will lead your life in different directions .
is like Chaplin, Kim Kerry, and Stephen Chow. For various reasons, chooses to suppress their true feelings and express their sadness with happiness. This caters to the demands of the public, but it has caused a lot of harm to myself and caused myself to experience depression . And I think that they may also realize that they are being hurt by these, but due to various reasons, they have to let the damage continue.
Of course, I don’t want to suggest what you must do, but hopes that you can generate some thoughts on the basis of movies, characters and articles. On the basis of thinking, do something to make your life better. The choice that is more and more in line with the present, more and more allows one to live well in the present, and more and more in line with the "right track" of life's changing life .
The right to choose is always in our own hands. , as explained in the movie, the power to change and the power to achieve miracles lies in ourselves, but is always in the dust because of the lack of sufficient experience, exercise and understanding.
And at the end, please allow me to quote another sentence in the movie:
If someone prays for patience, do you think God should give him patience, or give him the opportunity to learn to be patient?
If someone prays for courage, do you think God should give him courage or give him a chance to be a brave person?
If someone prays for a closer family, do you think God should give him a sense of grind, or give them a chance to love each other?
