Zhao Lusi is really not feeling well lately. Last month, I attended the press conference of the new drama "Pearl Curtain and Jade Curtain". I mentioned that I had not filmed for six or seven months before joining the cast, and my state of mind had changed a lot. Ordinar

Zhao Lusi is really not feeling right lately.

attended the press conference of the new drama "Pearl Curtain and Jade Curtain" last month. He mentioned that he had not filmed for six or seven months before joining the cast, and his state of mind had changed a lot.

Ordinarily it was not a particularly emotional atmosphere or topic at the time, but as she spoke, she almost shed tears, which seemed a bit sudden.

did the same thing during a live broadcast a few days ago. When reading a letter from a fan, he couldn't control his emotions and burst into tears on the spot.

In addition, her recent behavior at different events has also caused discussion.

Many netizens said that she is becoming more and more abstract and weird, and her body and emotions often feel out of control.

Although it is not as intuitive as those tearful scenes, if compared to her previous state, her previous agility and vitality have disappeared visibly. Instead, there is always a sense of exhaustion and anxiety that is forcing her spirit.

Status during the Thailand event in September last year

Fans praised her for her hard work, and she instinctively began to imagine the bad comments in the comment area.

During the live broadcast where she burst into tears, I heard her say very clearly:

"I will be scolded again later."

5 Flower melee is a major topic at the end of the year in the industry, and as a member of this generation of female stars, the pressure that Zhao Lusi has to face will naturally not be low. Seeing that the long-awaited new work "Pearl Curtain and Jade Curtain" was not well-received, but her rivals were singing her praises all the way, even if outsiders did not criticize her or compare her, it was impossible for her not to feel a sense of crisis in the cruel vanity fair.

However, Zhao Lusi’s problem does not come from the current stage of competition. This hidden mine has been buried deep in her personality for a long time, just waiting to give her a heavy blow one day.

Anxiety can drive people, anxiety can also kill people.

To her now, the most important thing is not to defeat anyone on the outside, but to defeat the inner demons.

Let’s start with the review.

Looking for the trigger of Zhao Lusi ’s current predicament, we undoubtedly have to go back to this "Pearl Curtain and Jade Curtain".

Netizens with excellent memories may vaguely remember that this drama was registered two or three years ago, but since then it has spent most of its time in the "online transmission" stage, spreading fans everywhere. It was not until the beginning of last year that the public opinion was unified as Zhao Lusi.

However, after the female protagonist walked around with the male protagonist, there were also a large number of male protagonists in "Bead Curtain", and the news spread from this family to the inner family like a drumbeat.

In April 2023, Zhao Lusi finished filming on the set of "Shen Yin", and then began the preparation stage for joining the cast of "Pearl Curtain".

However, it was not until October that the crew officially announced the choice of the male protagonist and the launch date. Moreover, Liu Yuning was still filming "Cicada Girl" at that time, and it was not completed until November.

By the time everyone gathered, she had been sitting on the bench for more than half a year.

For rising actors, this is a cost that is difficult to avoid. Vanity Fair does not have so many myths about time management. It is a privilege to join the group seamlessly, while ordinary people must follow the rhythm of capital.

Zhao Lusi summed up the experience that started at this time as, "Growing up."

This is actually a common illusion. You must understand that "trauma" is a sufficient and unnecessary condition for "growth". When people experience setbacks, they often comfort themselves. This is the price of entering a new stage. However, the essence of "growing up" is not to endure more pain, but to learn to cope with it. pain.

In fact, it was this period of deprivation that drove her later disorder.

The way Zhao Lusi has responded to the crisis in recent times is a failure for a celebrity and worrying for a young girl.

In September of this year, Zhao Lusi began to increase her offline activities. The public who had not seen her for a long time were very surprised by her new image. Then the entry #赵鲁思plastic surgery# became popular, becoming one of her highest public exposure events this year.

What followed was a series of calm responses from the protagonist.

No makeup, raw pictures, makeup removal;

Douyin, Weibo, ins;

videos, live pictures, and face-flattering pictures;

Inside and outside the walls, on all major platforms, Zhao Lusi quickly distributed the goods, trying to slap the entire network with the truth.

Similar operations also occurred at the beginning of this month.

With the broadcast of "Bead Curtain" and the increase in various activities, another wave of appearance humiliation has hit.

And Zhao Lusi not only posted live pictures for two days in a row, but even took out swimming pool photos that were more advanced than bare makeup, which shows her eagerness to prove herself.

Does this have any effect on netizens? No.

Netizens’ new evaluation of her is, Why does she care so much?

"Self-certification trap" is not a new term, but Zhao Lusi's experience was too standard.

If you don’t read negative comments, you will be criticized for being conceited, but if you read negative comments, you will be humiliated; not responding to netizens is showing off, and responding to netizens means caring too much; not listening to advice means being ignorant, and listening to advice means lacking opinion and soul.

Many people will compare Yu Shuxin . Why can others remain unmoved and speak eloquently, without feeling uncomfortable at the same time without offending anyone?

Indeed, for a celebrity, Yu Shuxin's handling is more intelligent, but for a young girl, Zhao Lusi's situation is the norm.

The essential difference between humans and animals is that humans have the ability to see and plan for the future. Because people will not be satisfied with just a moment of food and clothing, but will always desire longer-term satisfaction in the midst of scarcity.

The essence of anxiety is scarcity, a fear and sense of crisis of loss, and a desire to have desires filled and anxiety relieved at some point in the future.

Then who will feel the lack?

The answer is the vast majority of people. Only a very small number of reincarnated geniuses like Yu Shuxin can be spared. Ordinary people will not have this sense of deservingness of being born with everything.

The voices Yu Shuxin received were always mixed with emotions about what she had, while what Zhao Lusi had to face was always questioning what she was missing. On one thing, the two also had very different reactions.

Those who have plenty don’t know what to fear from “lack”, while those who are lacking desperately want to prove that they “have” a certain qualification.

However, when it comes to "qualifications", belief is often much more effective than proof.

If you are confident that you have it, many people will be convinced without any effort; otherwise, if you think of self-proof first, then people will think you are guilty of breaking the law.

Of course, as mentioned above, anxiety can drive people to progress and grow to a certain extent, but the premise is that you must be able to determine what you want.

To put it more bluntly, Can you tell the difference between "you want" and "you think you want"?

Zhao Lusi’s misunderstanding is precisely that she is not executing her pursuit of beauty, but internalizing the criticism and accusations from society and treating it as her own desire.

When readers laughed at her for being fat, she became crazy about being thin; when they said she was earthy, she developed various niche hot girl makeup and Asian makeup.

What’s even more dangerous is that she gradually regards the improvement of appearance as “getting better” itself.

Obviously, when you act according to the standards of others, you will never be able to meet this goal, and the future will become far away and your anxiety will increase exponentially.

Just as she discovered recently, when she made changes, the people who originally called her ugly started to say that she was better-looking, so where is the standard for "good-looking"?

In fact, the external standard never lasts forever. It is always in a free state. Whenever you think you are about to reach it, it will suddenly jump to the other extreme.

Many times, "whoever is in pain will change" is invalid. It will only become "the more the change, the more painful it becomes."

And a deeper hidden danger is that the pain caused by lack of self can easily make people create an imaginary self and become obsessed with it.

Zhao Lusi has never been an independent person, but now she is blindly highlighting her own existence.

Fans of Zhao Lusi have been complaining and defending their rights against her studio for some time, accusing the staff of not being responsible for her makeup, which made her image look particularly cheap recently.

Later, the studio had no choice but to release a video:

The real situation is that Zhao Lusi’s makeup and styling have always been decided by her, and she even did it herself.

In " Allow Me to Shine ", which will be released in the second half of this year, Zhao Lusi has become paranoid about the illusion of "making one's own decisions".

In almost all the moments when she is not in front of the camera, she is always choosing clothes and dressing for the character, even down to inner wear and socks.

But the aesthetic thing is very cruel.

The most basic requirement for "high aesthetics" is personality and strong self-awareness, so that you can create novel and non-blindly following aesthetics based on your own characteristics.

Let’s not talk about creation yet. Just imitation, the scope of Zhao Lusi’s aesthetic accumulation is too limited.

In her knowledge and imagination, blunt, cheap, and one-size-fits-all Internet celebrity makeup and Korean makeup are synonymous with beauty.

Vision limits practical ability. Perhaps as fans’ new rights protection rhetoric suggests, Zhao Lusi is not a person suitable for doing things on her own.

But when a person who has been empty-core for a long time suddenly (thinks he) has himself, he will not give up easily.

So we see that Zhao Lusi changed from blindly following public opinion to blindly following "false self", and even gave birth to bad confrontational behavior.

The most direct manifestation is that she later became "disobedient". The helplessness of the

studio is proof of this. It’s not that the workers are pretending to be blind, it’s that they really can’t control their boss who is full of bad ideas.

What people fear most is not not having an opinion, but stubbornly believing that they have an opinion.

Another performance that she is most criticized for is her various "price-dropping" behaviors.

The new drama recruited vulgar Internet celebrities such as Han Anran and Liu Zichen to market it and was ridiculed by the entire Internet.

and Zhou Yutong, who was criticized for falling out of favor, staged a sisterly relationship at an inappropriate time, and was once again criticized as "birds of a feather flock together".

and Liu Yuning ’s overly impactful business message made not only passers-by uncomfortable, but also fans. Entries such as

# Pollen Hell## Offfen# were once again on the hot search list.

These behaviors may seem confusing, but they are actually very easy to understand and analyze.

Han Anran and Liu Zichen, two internet celebrities, were previously the subject of netizens’ criticism of Zhao Lusi’s “plastic surgery”, including Zhang Dada, who later became friends, and they met because they were teased about their resemblance.

Zhao Lusi took the initiative to make friends with these people with black physiques, just out of a kind of rebellious psychology:

You said that I looked like them, so I deliberately made friends with them and even stamped my seal.

Zhou Yutong and she both have the experience of being black on the Internet, so naturally they can empathize easily.

However, in addition to continuing to damage her reputation, what substantive impact will this kind of bragging have on those netizens with malicious intentions? It's just adding more material and black material.

As for the various low-quality marketing during "Bead Curtain", it proves that she is indeed in a very confused and unprepared state about herself.

She doesn’t know what fans want, she doesn’t know what the market wants, let alone what she wants.

So she responded blindly when the criticism came, and started business randomly when her reputation was bad. She did not consider how these timely measures would damage her popularity and star power. Everything was serving her current "stubborn" needs.

I remembered that in 2023, she had a very typical domestic entertainment actress-style "sober speech":

Self-crossing is the true crossing, and only by facing the wind and waves alone can you achieve true relaxation.

Yes, she once performed very well in the entertainment industry, playing with hot searches, grabbing traffic, and sharing the honor and disgrace with black materials such as hand skating and green tea.

But her current status undoubtedly proves that there is a prerequisite for "facing independently", which requires a person to really have the ability to be independent. When an underdeveloped animal is released into the jungle, it often ends up hurting innocent people first and then itself.

Zhao Lusi talked about her childhood experience.

Her mother was too strict with her and always pushed her to go out and face everything on her own. Now she paid too much attention to her, which made her unwilling to live with her even if she returned to her hometown.

In psychoanalysis, the original origin of human anxiety is the separation from the mother. This experience always makes people fear the loss of object love.

Another source of anxiety is "mother swallowing", that is, being overly demanding or passionately loved. This experience will make people not know what to do to meet the standards of others.

Fatherhood is the law of the world, so fatherhood law has certain standards. But the mother also has the confusion of a woman, not knowing what she wants.

The capacity to love and the sense of victimization have deep roots in the earliest psychological processes of the infant, and they focus primarily on the mother.

Even as adults, their judgments of reality are never completely separated from the influence of their inner world.

- Melanie Klein's "Envy and Gratitude"

Zhao Lusi was driven into this fog too early, and she was unable to light the way.

Her core is objectively not enough to support her fighting at the top of Vanity Fair, but reality has pushed her to this position.

A year ago, when her face was still round, she said in an interview that she had never had a goal, was not willing to step out of her comfort zone, and just wanted to stay as long as possible in temporary satisfaction.

But after becoming a big star, her life is no longer just her life. She needs to be responsible for too many people and create a self in the void.

So, during this year, she has been in a panic and has no choice but to choose the right path.

But what if she changes it? Neither can

, because there is no way to go back.

If a person has never had autonomy, it makes no difference whether he or she has it;

But when a person has mastered autonomy and is suddenly deprived of it, he is likely to immediately fall into self-doubt or even collapse.

Who should control my life? This is a very fatal self-doubt.

In a recent live broadcast, she said that she would start listening to advice again. She has also responded that she would correct her makeup and hair, reorganize the team, etc. according to public opinion. I hope she will not act too hastily.

Zhao Lusi’s next biggest test is not whether to listen to advice, whether to be oneself or to be manipulated.

But, how does she gradually abandon the false self without losing her direction, and find a fulcrum that belongs to her in the torrent of vanity fair.

It makes no sense to ask her to "learn from Yu Shuxin", because the prerequisite for having a transcendent mentality is that you must first "become Yu Shuxin".

Zhao Lusi needs to truly understand herself, accept herself, and build a relatively independent core instead of pursuing an illusory image fabricated for her by others.

This process will be difficult and painful, but it is a painful step that all ordinary women must take.

What my mother said is actually right, girls have to rely on themselves.

But this "self" does not refer to the confused girl who is trapped in countless disciplines, but the self that you have re-raised consciously and directionally.

She also needs to give her anxiety a direction, not to waver between listening to advice and not listening to advice, but to determine the future that she needs to be responsible for and make correct judgments for it.

It’s no big deal for a woman to be confused and twisted. More importantly, you can give birth to a new self through distortion.

“I gave birth with violent sobs and vomiting during the transformation of ‘I’ into someone else,” Kristeva writes.

Every time you realize how much you don’t want to be controlled by others, you can get closer to yourself.

These words are not only sent to Zhao Lusi, but also to countless girls who have similar experiences to her. As for the one given to her alone: ​​

Happiness is always more important than being a top-notch person.