Author | Zhao Wanxi Editor | Tan Shanshan Title picture | Provided by interviewee....

author | Zhao Wanxi

editor | Tan Shanshan

title picture | respondent provided

After returning to China after being a member of a girl group in South Korea for 6 years, Cao Lu has participated in many casting interviews for variety shows. The question she is asked most often is: "What is your personality?"

In domestic entertainment, the word "personality" often has a special meaning. It not only represents an artist's basic conditions, growth background, and development positioning , more often than not, it is a trick to help celebrities quickly attract fans and increase their popularity.

"I don't have a personality. I don't know what my personality is. (Even if I have one) my personality is not given by myself, it is set by the audience. What my personality is, you have to feel it." Every When asked this question every time, Cao Lu always responded like this.

In 2012, Cao Lu joined the girl group fiestar and made her debut in South Korea. Each member of the group has a "personality", such as facade, dance, and rap. Cao Lu serves as the lead dancer, sub-singer, image, and is also the leader and the only Chinese member of the team. The members of

fiestar, from left to right, are Cao Lu, Huimei, linzy, jei, cheska, and yezi. (Photo/Wikipedia) During the development of

in South Korea, Cao Lu’s variety show performance was quite eye-catching. She is a regular guest on South Korea's national variety shows "Real Men" (Female Soldiers Special 4) and "We Got Married", and has also participated in major dramas such as "Please Help the Refrigerator", "The King of Masked Singer" and "Baek Jong-won's Food Truck" The recording of a hot variety show. In the show, she is funny, smart, and responsive, and many of her video cuts have been widely circulated on social platforms in both countries.

South Korea's variety show ecosystem is that during the guest selection stage, no matter how well-known the artist is, the program team will arrange interviews to understand and judge whether the artist's personality and performance are suitable for the show, without imposing a personality or script on the guest. However, the "personality" that Cao Lu was asked about during her interview for a domestic variety show clearly pointed to the more ambiguous part.

Cao Lu was photographed by a friend. (Photo/provided by interviewee)

The first time I met Cao Lu was in her live broadcast room. At that time, she lost the role of "Sister Lang" for the fourth time because the program team felt that she was "too plain."

Before the recording of "Chengfeng 2024" begins, the program team launches a "national recommendation" mechanism to encourage women from all over society to strive for first stage recording opportunities through self-recommendation or other recommendations. Cao Lu did not publicize the previous three times she was defeated, but this time she hopes that fans will help her, vote and like her for this "national recommendation". In Cao Lu's view, this is "in line with the rules."

We rarely see an artist reveal his efforts and desires so directly and sincerely. Obeying the rules, having his own rules and regulations in everything he does, and acting according to the rules, this is what impressed me most about Cao Lu during this interview.

ranked first in the "National Recommendation" but still failed, which made Cao Lu appear on the hot search list again. Many media outlets sent invitations, hoping that she would talk about this matter; a short drama company even came to ask if they could create a short drama based on her story and let her star in her true character. But Cao Lu refused. She doesn't want to consume the program, "We can lack resources and opportunities, but we can't be immoral" and "We want to be open and honest."

We met in Sanlitun, Beijing, in the spring. At this moment, the sun was just right. Cao Lu was standing at an intersection, wearing a denim top and tight jeans, with her head raised, one hand raised to block the sun on her forehead, and the other hand holding a mobile phone to take a selfie. I recognized her in the crowd across the street.

This year is the sixth year since the fiestar group was officially disbanded, and it is also the fourth year since Cao Lu returned to China to develop. The domestic entertainment industry has a completely different ecological environment and operating rules from South Korea, and Cao Lu's development has not been smooth. Even though as she gets older, opportunities seem to be getting fewer and fewer, and she has not achieved significant results, Cao Lu always feels that she is okay. "Follow the direction you think is right, and work hard in a slightly stupid way. This may take a lot of time, but I believe that by slowly accumulating, one day I will have a small piece of sky that belongs to me."

"It's so confusing, there are still so many things to do"

Every night at 8 o'clock, Cao Lu will appear in her live broadcast room on time. Unlike those live broadcast rooms with gorgeous decorations and a group of assistant broadcasters shouting and dancing, Cao Lu will Lu's live broadcast room is particularly quiet - she is the only one in the picture, sitting in her small living room, quietly introducing products and interacting with the audience. The live broadcast usually lasts until 1 am, a full five hours. Lu always sat and talked. In the first six months of

's live broadcast, she started broadcasting more often, starting at five or six in the afternoon. At that time, she lived in a one-bedroom apartment with a very small house. When the goods were full, she would sometimes feel out of breath. During the live broadcast, Cao Lu sat on a thin tatami mat. Later, the mat became thinner and thinner, and her waist often felt "waste". Dancing can't last long.

After the interview that day, Cao Lu was still live broadcasting.

Initially, Cao Lu signed a contract with a live broadcast mcn company. She told the other party: "I don't know how to live broadcast, but I hope to be serious, practical and practical." Do it honestly and trustworthy. "However, in the business world where profit is the core, it is difficult for the company to reach an agreement with her.

"The cost of communication is too high, and we quarrel over product selection every day. The beef jerky priced at RMB 9.9 has no beef flavor at all. I don’t think I can sell it, and my conscience tells me that I can’t. "Cao Lu said. There were more arguments, and the other party also felt that Cao Lute was "something troublesome" and teased her face to face: "It's been so confusing, and there are still so many things." "If you do this, we won't be able to cooperate." "Cao Lu understood what the other party meant and immediately signed the contract. After

, she tried to live broadcast alone. From business docking, product selection, live broadcast to after-sales, the entire process was followed and completed by herself. The products in the live broadcast room are mainly Daily necessities are updated very slowly. Cao Lu has used and eaten them herself and will take the initiative to buy them.

Cao Lu regards live streaming as an ordinary job because she has not signed a live broadcast company and has no live broadcast team. Performance pressure, in her opinion, is enough to link up and make no mistakes.

has been doing live broadcasts for a year and a half, and Cao Lu's living conditions have gradually improved. She and her parents moved into a rented three-bedroom apartment. There are people in each room, and the remaining smallest room is filled with goods. Her home is no longer filled with goods as soon as she enters the door, and she can breathe again.

In addition to live broadcasts, Cao Lu also uses various methods to expose herself on social media. The picture shows her. and AOA lead singer Cao'e's karaoke. (Photo/provided by interviewee)

An undervalued stock

Looking back on her acting career, Cao Lu feels that she has always been unable to escape the fate of being "ambiguous". A stock that is not favored by others."

In 2004, Cao Lu won the "China Music Television Top Ten Newcomers of 2004" award selected by CCTV. The following year, she released her first solo album "Cat". She was influenced by h.o.t and Zhang Nara. Influenced by this, Cao Lu fell in love with k-pop culture. In 2006, she went to study abroad in the performance department of Chung-Ang University in Korea and became classmates of Park Shin Hye and Jin Bum. By chance, Cao Lu was selected as a trainee by loen entertainment. After years of practice, she officially debuted as a Chinese member of the girl group fiestar. A heavyweight director who had filmed music videos shot their first music video. However, due to the changing music style and other reasons, the group never became popular and did not have many stage opportunities. As a "green card member" who worked alone in South Korea, Cao Lu's personal development was even more difficult. She had repeatedly thought about changing careers or going back to college.

Despite this, Cao Lu still tried to seize every opportunity that came her way. . After releasing an album and performing on radio programs, Cao Lu would record every program seriously and down-to-earth. Radio DJs were often experienced in variety shows. They found that Cao Lu was an interesting girl, so they took the initiative to recommend her to appear on variety shows. .

On a sports and competition variety show, she completely ignored her image. She rolled in the mire, fought against other female guests on a floating board, and tried all kinds of methods - doing splits, lying down, and pushing and pulling, just to get the first place. ..."I just want to tell everyone that I can do it, and I want the company to see that I can do it." Cao Lu said.

Cao Lu recorded "Golden Fishing Ground" and became known to more Korean people. Shortly after the

program was broadcast, the "Real Men" program team sent her a recording invitation; subsequently, "We Got Married 4" also invited her to join. In 2016, Cao Lu won the MBC Entertainment Awards Popularity Award for "We Got Married 4" and became the first Chinese artist to win a variety show award in South Korea.

Cao Lu recorded "Real Men" (Female Soldier Special 4) and didn't mind her image being ruined.

These work experiences made Cao Lu gradually realize that as long as she works hard and is strong, messy things will not happen. "As a Chinese, I have no one to rely on overseas. I have to rely on myself for everything to let everyone know me."

holds this belief. After returning to China, Cao Lu works as a live broadcaster and just works hard. Live broadcast for seven or eight hours every day. "I hope that everyone can see my value. Even if it is not that powerful, at least it has potential and I am willing to fight. I hope that the company (at the time) will see it and give me more opportunities." Cao Lu said.

However, there are not many opportunities for Cao Lu. "Work hard and you will be rewarded" is a concept that has been instilled in us during our growth. However, to stand out in this industry, in addition to hard work, you also need opportunities and a little bit of metaphysics.

"The world has failed her,

but she has never failed to live up to any opportunity"

At the height of popularity, Cao Lu had many jobs to choose from, but in comparison, the group was always tepid. "As for the matter of popularity, it sometimes exists, and when it doesn't, it will disappear soon." Cao Lu said.

From 2017 to 2018, five members of fiestar terminated their contracts with the company one after another. On May 15, 2018, the group was officially disbanded. Two years later, Cao Lu returned to China to develop.

After returning to China, Cao Lu chose the funny variety show "Serious Gaga", hoping to start anew. But she also missed the interview for "Sister Riding the Wind and Waves" (Season 1). Before

recorded "Serious Gaga", Cao Lu posted a message in Moments: "I used to be able to walk through it step by step on my own. Now that I'm back, I want to start from scratch and give it a try. If I fail, I blame myself for not having the ability. I I'll keep working hard." In the program, she introduced her resume like this: She debuted on CCTV in 2004, debuted overseas in 2012, and now she is back and preparing to debut again on the show. For the past 20 years, I have been on the road to debut and never give up.

When Cao Lu was eliminated, Da Zhangwei of the "Gaga Master Group" regretfully said to her: "I always feel that the world has failed you, but you have never failed to live up to any opportunity."

Cao Lu in "Seriously" "Gaga" starts again.

After "Serious Gaga", Cao Lu had almost no work for two years. She auditioned for many programs but failed. Most of the reasons were "the program was finally changed and your role was cancelled", and some replies were more direct - "the brand doesn't know you very well", or "you're too plain".

"Maybe I really don't have the ability or the fate." After being frustrated, Cao Lu is used to looking for the reasons within herself. "If I look for external reasons, over time, I will become very resentful. If I look for my own reasons, I will feel guilty in my heart. It's easier." Since the director team felt that she was "too plain", she worked hard to improve herself, learn newer dances, operate new media well, and find ways to increase the number of fans.

When she was a child, Cao Lu played a big star simulation game called "Star Willing". The player's main task is to run the artists in the agency and train them step by step from amateurs to tomorrow's stars. When

first started playing this game, Cao Lu played it with gusto. Later, a friend told her that there was a bug in the game. Pressing a few keys would directly increase the protagonist's talent and acting skills.So, Cao Lu adjusted all the values ​​​​to the maximum, and the protagonist took on the role, held the concert, and met the right man, all with ease. After playing for less than 3 days, Cao Lu felt it was boring and stopped playing.

"I think life is exactly like this game, especially as an artist. If I already have everything I want, I might not know what I want." Cao Lu feels that it is good to have ups and downs in life. Now she can eat a bowl of snail noodles with a pig's trotter and she can be happy for a long time; but if everything goes smoothly, then the only thing that can make her happy now is a bowl of snail noodles.

fiestar "Apple Pie" hits the singing stage.

Life is like playing mahjong

Cao Lu has always had a regret: the group has been developing for 6 years and has never won the "first place" in the singing show.

"One" is composed of various indicators such as album sales, mv playback volume, and online voting. Cao Lu introduced that winning the “top spot” in the singing competition program means that the group has become really popular; but not winning the “top spot” is like an Olympic athlete who has never won a medal. "There is pain in our hearts. For me and our group, this is a very important and regrettable thing."

This year, Cao Lu saved the money from one and a half years of live streaming. I bought the Chinese rights to the group's most popular song "Pathetic" and re-wrote the lyrics, hoping to record a Chinese version with my former teammates. The regret of not winning "one" became her motivation to do this. After the interview, Cao Lu will fly to South Korea to discuss the schedule and record songs with her former teammates.

Cao Lu returned to South Korea in May this year and took a group photo at a gathering with her former members when they were recording. (Photo/provided by interviewee)

When interviewing for "Sisters Riding the Wind and Waves" (Season 2), the program team asked her: "What do you think is a team?" Cao Lu didn't remember how she answered at the time, but every time When she thinks of combinations, this question automatically comes to mind. She now feels that the team will never leave. Without the group, she wouldn't be what she is now, so when she gained a little ability, she wanted to do something for the group.

Due to the lack of opportunities to appear in variety shows after returning to China, Cao Lu made a small variety show called "I Le Ge Dou "dol"" , and went to South Korea to find first, second and third generation male and female group members. Let fans take a look at what the brothers and sisters you once followed are doing now. At the same time, she also asked her friends to submit resumes to some short drama companies. The shooting cycle of a short drama is usually about 10 days, which will not delay the live broadcast and other work. She also wants to try it.

Cao Lu and block B member Ahn Jae-hyo recorded "I'll make a bean "dol"". (Picture/provided by interviewee)

Work is enriching Cao Lu little by little, and she does not feel hard at all: "There is something to do, and it is not hard at all. What I am afraid of is that I am tired, have nothing to do, and don't know what to do." What to do, that is the hardest thing for me."

On the one hand, Cao Lu adheres to some simple values, such as "As long as you work hard, an iron pestle can be ground into a needle" - "If it hasn't been ground into a needle now, it may be. I haven't polished it thoroughly enough. As long as I still have the strength, I will continue to work hard; as long as I don't give up on myself, others have no right to give up on me." On the other hand, Cao Lu inexplicably possesses a kind of optimism that belongs to those who have experienced it. She compares life to playing mahjong - "accept yourself who wins and accept yourself who loses, and just try to make peace."

The most important thing is to protect your own heart. It is the most valuable thing a person can do in the long journey of life. Cao Lu believes that as long as that spirit is still there, she will still be in her prime. The only thing she can do is to keep working hard, "not until you succeed, but until you don't want to work hard anymore."

Proofreading: Zou Weiyun

Operation: Ono

Typesetting: Zhao Wanxi