(Author He Suohuan: focuses on psychological analysis of gender emotions, marriage and family, self-growth and personality, etc. Follow me to bring you more knowledge.)
Really smart people never take the initiative to expose too many ideas ;
will not directly ask for it even if he wants it;
will not directly stalemate the relationship even if he is dissatisfied.
The smart people in the crowd are not those who "talk all the time", but those who are intermittently silent.
is good at listening and giving advice at critical moments.
In social networking, what are those behaviors that “look smart” but are actually stupid?
-01
I just want to ask for it, and I am greedy for small gains.
For example:
You open a small restaurant, and you start a small business from early to late.
Most of your friends will support you and take good care of you when they come to eat in your restaurant.
But there are one or two people who never give you money every time they come to eat in your restaurant.
will either ask you to make money, or tell you "on credit" first.
didn't make much money all year round, but the other party got a lot of money on credit.
If you ask him for something, he will still play rogue with you:
"You are already the boss, do you still care about this small amount of money?"
Moral kidnapping, he will ask for it endlessly from you. People like
who love to take advantage are very common in social circles.
Another example:
You can help the other party a lot, but the other party always troubles you on some small things;
After a long time, your patience and energy will be exhausted;
When he troubles you again, you will instinctively Will resist.
If you like to take advantage, you can only get temporary benefits;
if it goes on for a long time, your reputation in the circle will be ruined.
-02
Show off a sense of superiority
Are there people around you who like to show off, compare, and have a sense of superiority? There are some characteristics of people like
.
When getting along with people who are worse off than him, he is superior;
's words are all about looking down, superiority, and showing off.
When he gets along with people who are better off than him, he always likes to say mean things.
If you can't eat grapes, you say the grapes are sour.
always denies other people's achievements and denigrates other people's efforts.
If others get it by their own ability, he says that others get it by their connections;
They just cannot recognize the excellence of others.
Jealousy made him lose his mind and become ugly.
-03
Using lies to maintain social relationships
For example:
You make an appointment with the other person to go out for dinner.
You have been waiting at the hotel for half an hour, and the other party has not arrived yet.
You ask him: "Where are you?"
He says: "He will be there soon."
Another half hour passed before he arrived.
Actually, the first time he told you "He'll be there soon", he was still at home and just getting ready to go out.
This is using lies to maintain social relations.
Adult social relationships do not need to be so complicated.
If you are willing, accept it, if you are not willing, then reject it;
If you want to have a relationship, treat each other sincerely. The relationship between lies and calculations is destined to not last long.
When you use lame lies and loopholes to get along with the other party;
In fact, the other party can see through it at a glance.
It's just that the other party gives you a step down, and you don't tell them when you see through it.
When you lie habitually, sometimes you have to use more lies to "complete the lies".
If you tell too many lies, you will lose credibility.
-04
I don’t want to trouble anyone
This behavior has its pros and cons. The advantage of
is:
maintains a sense of boundaries with everyone and can handle them clearly;
I don’t owe you anything, and you don’t owe me anything.
In such a relationship, there is no need to feel any burden or guilt;
After all, "favor debt" is something that is easy to borrow but hard to repay.
The disadvantage is:
Your relationship with anyone will not be very deep.
Even if you are capable and valuable, your indifference will "shut out" others.
We live in a "human society", and troubles with each other are inevitable.
Food, clothing, housing and transportation, children studying, and the elderly being in poor health may all involve human relationships.
When you don't associate with others, you are in trouble and no one wants to associate with you.
When it's time to trouble, don't hesitate; when
It's time to accept, don't refuse.
What is communication?
You come and go, you trouble me, I trouble you, and the relationship is settled like this.
always refuses, does not want to trouble anyone, and seems to be very comfortable;
really encounters some troublesome things, and you will be in a state of "having money but no place to spend it."
Since you can't break away from group social interaction, then find a social model that suits you.
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