Hi everyone, I'm Mommy Tomato!
Boys just need to be "raised hard", they need to be tamed, and they must not be soft-hearted, otherwise they will be difficult to raise. I don't know how many parents have such a view, which leads to frequent mistakes in the process of raising boys. As a result, the boy was spoiled and became more and more rebellious.
Getting along with my son Xiaojun immediately caught my attention. It's really very similar. Some of the mothers I have come into contact with in my work, they often make mistakes, but they don't know where the mistakes are. The son Xiaojun in
"The Big Exam" especially likes animation and animation, but his mother forced him to take the 985 exam, and even did not hesitate to tear up the entry that his son had drawn for several months. In order to take care of her son, she quit her excellent job, took care of her son's diet and daily life, and devotes herself to accompany him to prepare for the exam.
Mother Dong's upbringing of her son can be described with the word "ruthless" . The son once said angrily to his mother: "You are too vicious, you are not even as good as as a stepmother."
Unfortunately, the son's words did not exchange for Dong's mother's guilt and reflection, except for the sentence " I am not doing this for your own good. ", and then slapped his son in the face, which severely damaged his self-esteem.
Dong's mother has high requirements and high expectations for her son. She always compares her son with others, hoping that her son will excel. Dong's mother hopes that her son will follow the route set by herself. does not respect her son's dream. As a result, the son hates his mother more and more, and even yells at his mother.
After watching these plots, I have a lot of feelings. I think this drama is really good, and it can arouse many "Dong Ma" reflections. There are quite a few "Mother Dong" in life. Their point of view is: raising a son must be "ruthless" , try to be as ruthless as possible, so as to "suppress" the son's nature and tame the child's wildness.
As everyone knows, under such wrong education, adolescent boys will only go in the opposite direction and become more and more disgusted with their mothers.
said in "Adolescent Boy Parenting: What Parents Need to Know": A child's adolescence is also a critical period for parents . Therefore, parents can't point fingers at adolescent children as they did before, especially these two things can't be touched.
In the parenting of adolescent boys, there are two minefields that cannot be stepped on.
The first "minefield": can not touch the bottom line of the boy's self-esteem "Independent Stage". What the boys need is restriction, but also opportunity and space. However, when some parents limit their sons, they go beyond the boundaries and touch the bottom line of their son's dignity. They do not leave any personal space for their sons, and they feel very suffocated.
For example,Mother Dong always used "for your own good" as an excuse to control the child, restrain the child, and forbid the child's doting. This makes the child feel that he has lost "human rights", and the child will feel that he has no dignity, and cannot be an independent-minded person in front of his mother.
In life, many mothers will also make mistakes of Dong's mother. They will always criticize their sons in front of outsiders, and belittle their own children when complimenting others. This feeling of loss of dignity, the child may remember, become the yoke of inferiority complex.
The second minefield: The boy's privacy cannot be destroyed
The child is an independent individual, and the child has the right to privacy and other personal rights. In family life, parents should respect the rights of their children and give them a certain space.
In the TV series of the big test, Dong Ma's approach was really overdone. Every time I entered my son's room, I pushed the door and entered, which made my son very disgusted. The son protested, hoping that his mother would knock on the door before entering. But Dong's mother was very surprised: "What am I knocking on the door of my own house!"
The son has grown up, not his mother's private property, but a person. This is something Dong's mother ignored. She mistakenly thought that the child belonged to her, and the space of the home was her own space, but she forgot the fact that she and her child were not one person, but two people.
The hot topic in the book "Raising the Wild" talks about "sensitive boys or intuitive boys". Some boys are sensitive, moody and delicate, they need a separate space and they want to be respected by others. Therefore, parents should try their best to satisfy their children's psychological needs, and let their children feel that they are cared for and cared for.
If you want to raise adolescent boys well, you can't just follow Mother Dong's parenting route. Dong's mother's ruthless rearing cannot tame her son's wildness. If you want the boy to be physically and mentally healthy and happy. Well, the best parenting method for is actually wild parenting .
What is wild parenting?
Wild parenting refers to the process of raising boys into men, focusing on nurturing boys' innate wildness . Accompany the child through the wilderness and become a real man.
So what counts as a wild parenting boy?
recommends everyone to read the book "Wild Parenting" , which gives many parents the most correct answers. It tells the content of the key methods of raising boys, and guides parents to use scientific parenting methods to bring older boys.
The Wild Parenting book pointed out that boys from 2 to 22 years old are the only way from a boy to a man. During this period, every boy has to go through several important life stages that shape the character of the boy's growth.
For example, 2-4 year old boy , is in explorer stage .
Boys at this stage should pay attention to the differences between boys and girls when parenting. Parents should tell the boy who the child is? Give the child a clear boundary and open space. The book is full of warm tips for caregivers that parents can follow.
and 5-8 year old boys , is in lover stage .
For boys at this stage, in the emotionally sensitive period, parents can guide boys to learn to express their feelings; give boys certain compassion and restraint, and raise boys according to the methods in the book.
and other boys reached 9-12 years old , entered the independent stage . In the early stage of puberty, parents need to give their children less restrictions and help boys to be independent and manly.
Every time a boy enters a stage, it means more mature growth. Parents follow the tips in the book to analyze and practice the key issues of parenting, and then they can lead boys scientifically.
especially is 13-17 years old boy in rebellious adolescence . It is in the prowler stage, and parents need to help their son to input and vent in time, so as to get through the confused period smoothly.
"Raising the Wild" This book almost spans the important moments of a boy's life. I gave key guidance and advice to the nurturer , especially suitable for parents with boys, as a pillow book.
In addition to the boy's character shaping, there is also an in-depth analysis of the boy's intelligence, learning style, attention, and 's inner world. Especially the hot topic part, which covers a wide range and a deep content, can effectively help parents to develop boys into men. Parents in need, please click the link below the article to place an order.
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