, the eight hit TV series " Dear Life " on CCTV made me chasing the drama more than ever. But the story of Du Di's family has a different flavor. The mother-in-law prioritizes sons over daughters, and her husband makes compromises, but Du Di's mother is willing to use her life to fulfill her husband. Her love for her husband makes me feel sad and pity, and it also reminds me of my mother. two older women.
First, what happened to Du Di's mother is the tragedy of all women in feudal marriages . If you don't have a son in the countryside, you will be looked down upon, and if you have a daughter, you will be ridiculed. A girl like Du Di, no matter how good she is, can't be on the family tree after her death, so no matter how hard Du Di works, in the eyes of her grandmother, she is nothing It's not worth it, she doesn't deserve the respect of her grandmother, and she doesn't deserve the love of her father. Only her lowly and lowly mother loves her silently.
Du Di's father was born when grandma was on her way to look for her grandfather in the Northeast. When she was transferring at the station, she unexpectedly gave birth prematurely. Fortunately, she met Lin Qiaozhi, a famous obstetrician and gynecologist, so in her grandmother's heart, she only admired this woman. . It is precisely because of this that Du Di has vowed to be Lin Qiaozhi since he was a child, to make his grandma look up to him, and to prove that girls are not inferior to boys. A doctor of medicine, she eventually became a well-known doctor at Sheng Chai Hospital. She worked hard in her career and forged ahead towards her life goals.
And Du Di's parents finally got pregnant with a second child because of the country's liberalization of the two-child policy, but the mother is over 500 years old and suffers from high blood pressure. She insisted on giving birth to this hard-won baby at the risk of her life, and they all thought it must be a boy, so no matter how Du Di objected, no matter how much harm it would bring to her body, she still insisted on her own will .
In Du Di's opinion, she did it as a last resort, but she told her daughter the truth for the first time in the hospital bed. She loves her husband. He doesn't smoke or drink. He earns money and takes it home. , is a responsible and good man, so she is grateful to him from the bottom of her heart, she will give her life for him and give birth to this child.
After listening to this conversation, I can't help but feel sad, what a humble love this is, and this kind of love used to be the common sorrow of the previous generation of women, I suddenly thought of my mother-in-law and my friend's mother.
Second, men and women in a feudal marriage can only contend with fate, either forbearance or struggle When he was young, he was married to his mother-in-law.
Her mother-in-law was born in the city and is the eldest lady of a landlord's family. But later, when her family was in a downturn, she was forced to marry into the countryside and became an authentic rural daughter-in-law, but she was articulate, ingenious, and well-liked by her husband. She gave birth to two sons, and soon mother-in-law.
My mother-in-law was disliked by her because she was not good-looking, and what was worse was that she knew nothing, so she was yelled and abused by her mother-in-law at every turn. She was an introvert and didn't like to talk. , How can you withstand the abuse of a powerful mother-in-law? In desperation, the equally young father-in-law stepped forward to protect her comprehensively, but in that era when filial piety was the first, he undoubtedly became the son of the mother's heart, so the father-in-law was often chased and beaten by his mother for his mother-in-law. Imagine a person running in a panic in front, and a person in pursuit with a feather marble in hand.
Finally one day, my father-in-law can't take it anymore, he is caught between two women, one is his supreme mother and the other is his beloved woman, he feels overwhelmed and exhausted, he can't even protect himself, So he had to walk away.
he ran away from home, he's going to give his first roar to feudal patriarchy , he's going to use his rebellion to banJian Power challenged him, and he has not heard from him since, and he has been gone for seven years.
During this period, he worked as a long-term worker, worked as a kid, let go of cattle and sheep, and cut hogweed, but he just didn't want to go home.
During this time, his mother looked for him everywhere, at any cost, in the whole world around her, but couldn't find him.
During this period, his wife didn't know how many tears, how many beatings and scoldings, how many grievances, but she did not leave that callous home.
On the eighth Spring Festival, the wandering father-in-law finally came back. His mother looked at him with tears streaming down his face, just shook his head and sighed; his wife looked at him silently, only crying, and they were finally reunited.
Later, her mother-in-law gave birth to four children, but after her mother-in-law died, she left a will to the children, asking them to remember that she must not be buried next to her mother-in-law after her death, and she should stay away from her.
Now my mother-in-law has passed away, and we have fulfilled her wish to bury her alone 200 meters away from her mother-in-law's grave.
and another victim of feudal marriage is my friend's mother, she was also born in the 1940s, also from the countryside, from a poor family, but she has a strong personality, works neatly, and is beautiful, so she She married into a middle-class family in the city and became a full-time wife. Her husband is knowledgeable and gentle, and works as a worker in a factory in the county seat. He is the only child in the family. After the mother of
's friend got married, the powerful mother-in-law was also a powerful person at home. She satirized and scolded her daughter-in-law when she didn't like it, especially after the daughter-in-law gave birth to a girl for the first time, she became even more aggressive. She ignored her daughter-in-law's physical condition. , during the confinement period, let her do laundry, cook, and grow vegetables.
Seeing that her daughter-in-law was strong and unwilling to give in, she called on the whole family to fight against her. The daughter-in-law fought alone with perseverance and struggled to support her every day. She could only turn the anguish in her heart to her only relative. ——The cowardly husband confided, but what can a filial husband do? He was powerless between his mother and wife, and often even lived in factories and did not want to come back.
's friend's mother persisted in the battle of outnumbered enemies, she was going to declare war on feudal parents, she was going to declare war on patriarchal feudal ideology, she was going to fight for her own personality and freedom, she finally won a place— - She and her mother-in-law live separately, and her husband can finally be reunited with her.
She later gave birth to three more children, two boys, and their little family was happy and prosperous.
Husband retired at the age of 60. They lived together day and night and never separated. They can finally spend their old age in peace and share the joy of family.
However, one day in the middle of the night, she felt something strange around her, so she hurriedly turned on the light. She found that her husband was twitching on the bed, so she quickly lifted him up and held him in her arms. Children cry for help. But when the children arrived, her husband passed away forever. She hugged her husband for a long time, and only repeated one sentence: "You can't die, you are a good person." Her tears and crying were washed away. The hearts of everyone present.
The good person she said is just like Du Di's mother's understanding of love, her husband never beat her, never scolded her, never abused her, he doesn't smoke or drink, he earns money to support his family, he is responsible for the family, It's just that he's too filial, but that can't be helped.
Because of understanding, they are tolerant; because of tolerance, they have love; because of love, they are so determined to guard that home, guarding such a helpless and helpless marriage, they seek balance and comfort in the interweaving of love and hate , it is really heartbreaking to think about.
Yes, in that era when filial piety came first, Chinese families were dominated by the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, mother-in-law had the supreme right, and as a child, she had to obey unconditionally. It is equivalent to "foreign enemy invasion". She has to compete with her daughter-in-law for her son, but her daughter-in-law must continue the incense for her and assume the responsibility of inheriting the family. Therefore, they must get along day and night, and there will inevitably be constant wars between them. But during this period, it is even more difficult for a man caught between his mother and his wife.If they are too rebellious, they will be regarded as unfilial by their parents; if they are too filial, they will be forever hated by their wives.
Nowadays, being a woman is really happy, equality between men and women , freedom of marriage, we can choose our own life, we can live the life we want, we can live the way we want, we finally got rid of the shackles of feudalism, finally We can raise our eyebrows, but we will not forget that our freedom today is the result of the constant struggle of countless senior women, and it is also the result of countless senior men struggling with grievances. We will always remember those fathers and mothers who struggled for the pursuit of marriage and happiness. , we want to pay tribute to the progress of mankind!
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