text/Yin Sang Qiuyu
The pictures in the text are from the <星汉灿烂> TV series, and the infringement contact must be deleted One is a relaxed third aunt.
Friends who watch the show know that Shaoshang always wanted to have a mother like Queen Xuan, so he devoted a lot of affection to her.
However, compared to Queen Xuan, I prefer the third aunt, because I think the third aunt's way of doing things is more acceptable and more helpful to the children.
I like to read some educational books, because of professional reasons, I often encounter the phenomenon of "mother-controlled parenting".
I found that many parents are obviously doing it for the good of their children, but they often make the relationship very stiff because of improper methods.
The children also can't understand their parents' behavior, and they have a strong rebellious mentality. They feel that "My mother always likes to control me, my mother likes to lose her temper, and my mother keeps nagging about the same thing". In the
play, the grandmother treats the young businessman more than she understands, which leads to a deep gap between mother and daughter.
I get a lot of inspiration from my third aunt about the way parents are educated.
Her way of education is completely different from that of her mother, especially the three qualities she shows, make me admire!
1 The third aunt's concept of marriage and love: both persistent pursuit and sober giving up!
Sang Shunhua, the third aunt, is the daughter of the owner of Bailu Mountain.
Before marrying her third uncle, she had a fiancé named Huangfuyi.
When they got engaged, Huangfuyi felt that her third aunt had a normal appearance, so she never cared about her.
Later, Huangfu's family suffered a disaster, Huangfuyi also went out to take refuge, and the elders of the third aunt's family persuaded her to break the engagement.
But the third aunt did not give up Huangfuyi, and took care of his family and guarded his home for seven years, just to wait for him to come back and get married.
Huangfuyi is grateful for the efforts of her third aunt and is willing to marry her, but because her benefactor's daughter fell in love with him and committed suicide, she delayed her trip home.
The third aunt cut off the relationship with Huangfu Yi and married the third uncle of Shao Shang.
Emotionally, the third aunt is sober and self-loving; she can not only give affectionately, but also be decisive.
But Huangfuyi began to miss the third aunt. Because he couldn't figure out why the third aunt had given up on him because of a trivial matter since he loved him so much.
He lost all his heart for his rose (the third aunt), only to realize the value of roses.
Perhaps the most precious is what has been lost.
As the saying goes, love your partner for seven points and love yourself three points. The third aunt knows how to grasp the scale of loving and being loved, and also taught this principle to Shaoshang, so that she can learn to love herself.
Therefore, whether Shaoshang resigned from his relationship with Lou Yao helplessly or resolutely broke off his marriage with Zisheng, she never gave up on herself.
's third aunt said: women are alive, marriage is just a scene of life, no matter what kind of situation, what scene, whoever you meet in the future, don't give up yourself for a man, it's not worth it.
I think, with a mother like the third aunt, girls should have a clearer choice in finding a life partner!
has set a good example because the third aunt has taught by words and deeds.
2 The third aunt's way of doing things: know how to be tolerant and informal
The third uncle of the young businessman looks like Pan An, is suave,Therefore, it is most loved by the mother.
The eldest mother dislikes the mediocre-looking third aunt.
The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has been difficult since ancient times, and the third aunt and the eldest mother are no exception.
Every time the eldest mother and the third uncle and his wife are together, whether it is to eat or go to the lantern festival, she directly pushes the third aunt aside, leaving the third aunt to stand alone.
The third aunt is never angry, and she never cares about her eldest mother. She is very open-minded.
What impressed me the most was the plot of Shao Shang accompany the third uncle's family to take office in Hua County.
As soon as their carriage entered the land of Shu, the third uncle noticed that there might be dangers along the way, so he took Lou Yao to rescue soldiers.
As a result, the third aunt and Shaoshang encountered the gangster many times, and they had to hide in a hunter. The Shaoshang organization delayed the gangster's pace. Fortunately, Zisheng arrived in time to save them.
, on the contrary, the third uncle who looked for the rescuer went all the way without disaster, fainted three times, and insisted that Lou Yao had fainted three times, delaying his rescue. made people speechless.
In the face of such a weak and unreliable third uncle, 's third aunt does not blame him, but understands him.
Her generosity and informality are really admirable.
This reminds me of a fable.
There is a poor old couple who one day wanted to take the only valuable horse in the family to the market in exchange for something more useful.
So the old man took his horse to the market. He first exchanged a cow with someone, , and then he exchanged the cow for a sheep, and then exchanged the sheep for a fat goose, and then exchanged the goose for a hen. In the end, I traded a hen for someone else's big bag of rotten apples.
In every exchange, the old man wants to surprise his wife.
When he was sitting on a bench by the road with a big bag of rotten apples to rest, he met a businessman. During the chat, he talked about his experience along the way. The businessman laughed when he heard it, and joked that he would have to suffer when he went back. Wife beat up.
The old man insisted that he would never, so the businessman used a bag of gold coins to bet the old man that if he went home without any punishment from his wife, the gold coins would be lost to him.
In the end, the merchant lost over a hundred pounds of gold.
Because the old woman in the story said, no matter what happens, she firmly believes that the old man is always right. The story of
is somewhat similar to the attitude of the third aunt in the accident:
The third aunt always sees the shining points of the third uncle, and the old woman in the story has always appreciated the shining points of the old man.
The most important thing for couples to get along with is to be tolerant and learn to appreciate each other's strengths, instead of staring at the weaknesses all the time, leading to constant family quarrels and forming a chain reaction.
And a family is not harmonious, the wife's emotions are the most important, and the impact on the children is also the greatest.
I think that children who grow up in a mild family atmosphere should be more likely to be happy than children who grow up in a violent environment.
3 The third aunt's parenting concept: able to bend and stretch, with a degree of relaxation
In the play, when Shaoshang's parents first returned home, Shaoshang had a very strong emotional need for them.
In order to please his mother, Shao Shang also did a lot of things:
, for example, pretending to be dizzy with his eldest mother, cheating his second aunt to keep the old house, and making a swing in the new house, etc. Unfortunately, in the eyes of my mother, these are all tricks, Not the elegant hall.
I remember an episode where my cousin, Chacha's maid, wanted to take away the bookcase that her brother gave to Shaoshang, and there was a fierce dispute between the two sides.
My mother is afraid that she will feel that she is under someone else's guard, just to comfortShe, when she came up, was partial to Qiuqi.
Shao Shang did not want to compromise, so he quarreled with his mother.
However, my mother completely ignored that the young businessman was also kept in the old house since childhood, and lived under the supervision of others for more than ten years.
Before she could make up for the lack of maternal love of the young businessman, she was anxious to let her be patient and polite and understand others.
Fortunately, the third aunt pretended to have a stomachache to avoid a quarrel between the mother and daughter. The third aunt's actions gave the mother a step to go down, and also made the young businessman feel warm.
She also said to her mother: But some people in this world, in order to show their impartiality and selflessness, sometimes treat others favorably and treat their own flesh and blood, do you think it is ridiculous?
This sentence touched me a lot. The third aunt said the mistakes that most parents in this world may make. We always demand that our children be polite and humble, but we rarely look at things from the perspective of children.
It's a good thing to learn that is lenient to others, but it is also a good thing to be considerate.
can take into account the feelings of children in everything, and does not force children to do what they must do, but teach them in a persuasive manner. This is probably another characteristic of third aunts that can attract less businessmen!
all say that parents are their children's first teachers, what role you play in life, then what role your children will be.
There are no perfect parents, but every parent can learn. Even though I have never been a parent, I always remember Montessori saying:
When we gradually control ourselves and stop pointing fingers at our children; when we can liberate children from our personal influence and place them in When they are in an environment suitable for their development; they will greatly increase their wisdom and confidence in themselves!
4 Conclusion:
I think, the above three characteristics, from emotional choice, to getting along with mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, to family education, the third aunt is undoubtedly the most sober person.
Even though she was once abandoned by her fiancé and disliked by her mother-in-law, she still lives unrestrainedly and is loved by her third uncle;
Because she is not attached to the past, she lives in the present;
So, she wins over all the women in the show, including Queen Xuan.
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About the author:
Yin Sang Qiuyu, likes heart-warming words, is learning self-cultivation, and hopes to grow up with everyone.
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