Ren Duomei took out the white lace pajamas from the closet and tucked them under the pillow with a thoughtful smile. After finishing, he did not forget to spray perfume behind his ears and wrists, and then hid the family planning supplies in the drawer of the bedside table. When I was ready, I went to the kitchen to make soup and waited for my husband to come home from get off work.
Zhang Weichen was worried about the hospital election. When he came home to see his virtuous and gentle wife, he felt soft and felt that it was all worth it. When I returned to the room after dinner, my wife Ren Duomei had already laid down and fell asleep. He lay down beside Ren Duomei, and when it was critical, he reached out to look at the long-headed cabinet.
Zhang Weichen asked Ren Duomei why he put things away. Ren Duomei hid in the quilt and asked him, "What's the matter? You don't want children?" Zhang Weichen sighed deeply, and after saying that it was not the time, he fled.
has always felt that Ren Duomei and Zhang Weichen's conjugal love is often superficial drama-style love. What is the truth behind the sex and no love in their marriage? I didn't realize it until I saw Ren Duomei's father released from prison.
1. Abandoning old love and marrying her husband
Ren Duomei is a peasant girl from a small city. Her parents are both rural people with little prospects. She fell in love with Tan Tian when she was young. Facing her boyfriend who worked hard but still had nothing, Ren Duomei was afraid. She didn't want to live like this, she wanted to live a "good life".
What is a good day? A good day is when her boyfriend can make a lot of money without working overtime day and night, and a good day is when her boyfriend walks towards her full of glory and wealth. On a rainy day, her boyfriend who couldn't show up for a long time, and her boyfriend who had to take the subway, broke her completely. She said, "Tan Tian, let's break up. What I need now is a car to pick me up, not Come pick me up."
The two young people who fell in love with each other said goodbye, and Ren Duomei met her current husband, Zhang Weichen. Zhang Weichen has a high education and a wealthy family. He is a rich boy who was born with a golden key. Ren Duomei saw the vision of "future and happiness" in Zhang Weichen.
A high-married woman turned into a rich wife, living in a big house, focusing on family chores and her husband, and slowly lost herself. Ren Duomei, who lived in the burden of a rich wife, did not feel confused, but felt that this was the happiness she wanted.
2. Be a lowly and humble person to please
Facing the harsh mother-in-law's hardship and contempt, she said "The mother-in-law is your husband's mother, and your husband can only be good to you if you are good to her" ; She goes out to work, she says "Men don't care about those three melons and two dates you earn". She enjoys herself and manages this married life like walking on thin ice with heart, and she likes it.
I have seen many women who are forced to be housewives. They gradually develop a psychology of resistance and resistance in the repetition and triviality day after day, and their part about "women" will awaken because of this, and they want to break free from their husbands and families The bondage of the search for something called the "self".
, but Ren Duomei did not. She enjoyed it. Facing her mother-in-law and mistress who wanted to hinder her happy marriage, she calmly accepted and endured it. Such a person has her powerful side. Some people say that rather than complaining about the status quo, it is better to fall in love with the present. Ren Duomei is such a person. She deceives herself with rhetoric and stays in the comfort zone of family and marriage.
In Ren Duomei's concept, she believes that marriage and family need to be managed, including the meticulous care of her husband, her resignation to her mother-in-law, and her tolerance to the mistress.In fact, she thought she was elegant and high emotional intelligence, but she was actually self-paralysis and intoxication. Only in this way can she live in the carefully constructed "comfort zone" forever.
Regarding Ren Duomei's views on marriage and love, she would like to use Shen Jianan's words to counterattack:
"Every day in her public accounts, how to help her husband establish enough comfort zone, how to maintain his wife's sense of freshness and distance, Then according to what she said, the most suitable for marriage should be Monkey King . Every day, seventy-two changes are shown to the other party. I am quite sympathetic to her husband. First of all, she treats her husband as a client and marriage as a business. Is there still true love?"
Yes, with such management and calculations, is there still true love at home? A perfect wife, indifferent calculation, this is indeed the negative teaching material of marriage as Shen Jianan said.
3. Away from parents, ruthless and indifferent After getting married, Ren Duomei not only rarely contacted her mother, but even if her mother took the initiative to come to the door, she was very indifferent. The mother came to her daughter's house and couldn't stay at home. Instead, she was sent out to stay in a hotel. The mother came to visit, and the mother-in-law kicked her out of the house as soon as she arrived. Understood. Ren Duomei's father was in prison. After he was released from prison, Lai went to the city to run for his daughter. euphemistically said that "the family must live in one place, and the family must live together", but in fact, because "everyone in a town is Knowing that he has been in prison, he is a person with a criminal record, and no one will look down on him when he goes back."
So, pull the daughter and the wife to sink together.
's father's irresponsibility and cowardice are the reasons why Ren Duomei refused to go home for so many years. On the day of my father's birthday, my mother, who has been unpopular all the time, came to the door again and wanted to invite Ren Duomei back to celebrate her birthday with her father. In my mother's opinion, Ren Duomei's father is her father no matter how bad it is. It is this constant blood relationship that makes Ren Duomei crazy.
Ren Duomei doesn't want to recognize this father-daughter relationship anymore:
"He's my dad? If he drinks too much, he beats and scolds people, that's my dad? It's my dad who can't control his emotions when something goes wrong? Harm me It's my dad who can't be assigned a job at the university? I have such a dad, how can I be filial to him?"
said that he was not filial, but in fact Ren Duomei was not so affectionate enough to really ignore it. Knowing that her parents rented a house in the city, she said that she would double the living expenses for her family in the future. Knowing that her mother had a toothache, she expressed her willingness to pay for her treatment. She considers herself to be benevolent and righteous, and only hopes that such parents can be far away from her own world, and farther away.
Facing her father's past, what suffocated Ren Duomei even more was that if her mother-in-law and Zhang Weichen knew that his father had not died, then her carefully managed marriage would be completely destroyed. She tried her best and shouted at the mother in front of her:
"You like living in the quagmire, but why are you pulling me with you?"
Ren Duomei couldn't understand, she just wanted a better life Life, away from darkness and quagmire, what is wrong with her? But at present, the reality has pierced her heart, "I tell you, no matter how good you are, no matter how good you are, you are born to me." . The dispute between the mother and daughter ended with the mother's sentence "We are not worthy of being your parents, we have implicated you". The mother left with tears in her eyes, and Ren Duomei behind her also had red eyes.
wrote in the last
Ren Duomei's tragedy, the deepestThe shadow undoubtedly comes from the family of origin and from the father. Her mother obeyed her father's words, but his father was a man who could not manage his emotions well. They lived together in the dark, and made Ren Duomei's world a dark color.
She just wanted to run away, run away from this horrible thing, run away from everything that suffocated her.
At the beginning, I didn't like or understand Ren Duomei very much. She is a coveted woman with a strong purpose and mind in love and marriage. She doesn't want love, she just wants material , her purpose is very simple, just to live a good life.
Later, I finally got it. People who have lived in darkness and quagmire for many years will try their best to catch a ray of light, even if it is calculated and managed by the world.
Only living in such a family can she understand why she is indifferent to her parents and does not persuade others to be kind.
Childhood injuries that take a lifetime to heal. Not all parents can afford to be a parent. If you can't give the child a good life, when she tries to break free, can she not drag her and lead her into the quagmire?
saw Ren Duomei's father who was released from prison, and then he understood the truth of her marriage with sex and no love. She may not love Zhang Weichen, but she longs for the light Zhang Weichen can bring her, the light she has never seen in the quagmire.
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