"The Disappearing Child": Yuan Wu's mother, so sad

The reason why Yuan Wu is what he is now is mainly because his ability to be frustrated is too poor.

He is too obedient. For a long time, he is used to being arranged by his mother, and he has no thoughts of his own.

He's very socially intimidated and doesn't know how to deal with people, which also makes his job a mess. People looked at his education and thought that his work ability was outstanding. As a result, who would have expected his work ability to be so poor. How about a high degree of education and a high IQ? You don’t know how to deal with people, you get stuck when you speak, and everything needs to be rehearsed. How can such a person handle things?

So I can understand why Yuan Wu is addicted to gambling?

because gambling can let him escape temporarily, the kind of winning and losing game after game can let him find a little pleasure in it.

If the child is obedient, it must be all right?

Many mothers especially hope that they can have an obedient child. The child's academic performance is better. When the child is admitted to a good university, they will have a special sense of accomplishment. They have paid a lot for their children, and they have considered everything for their children. They also thought that they had cultivated a child of heaven, but their too strong love harmed the children.

Yuan Wu's mother, that's it.

If only grades were used as a measure, Yuan Wu's mother's education was undoubtedly successful. In the TV series, Yuan Wu scored 645 points in mathematics in the college entrance examination, and was admitted to a key university; in the original book, Yuan Wu scored 695 points in the college entrance examination, and he was admitted to Dongjiang University, which ranks fifth in the country. .

Yuan Wu has always been the pride of his mother.

Yuan Wu is very obedient, he has been living a life arranged by his mother. Before college, his mother didn't let him make friends, saying that it would affect his studies. In his mother's opinion, socializing before college was useless. He only needed to use his grades to speak. Everything except grades was a waste of time. . As long as your grades can go up, others will give you a thumbs up.

It's not wrong to say that only grades are concerned, but she has always raised Yuan Wu as a child, and she has taken care of everything except Yuan Wu's studies. Yuan Wu is very obedient. The obedient one does not have his own thoughts, and he never has to think about anything. His mother arranged it so properly, he only needs to be obedient.

's long-term education method has caused Yuan Wu to only study and not to deal with other people.

His college entrance examination scores are so high. His mother chose his university and major. When his mother filled out the registration form, he asked him "what do you think?" Yuan Wu knew that what he said was useless, so he used to give that sentence to filtered out. Does he think anything is important? Even if he did, would mom care what he said? Besides, he didn't know what he liked.

He is just like his mother's "marionette", he does whatever his mother asks him to do.

, like Yuan Wu's mother, lived a very tiring life.

When people take care of their children, it is enough to help them with their homework, but she can't. She has to take everything into consideration. After Yuan Wu went to college, she was still worried. After she sent Yuan Wu to school, she did not leave immediately, but distributed the fruit snacks she bought to Yuan Wu's roommates, and chatted with them for more than an hour before leaving.

Yuan Wu started a new life in college, his mother lived in the hostel opposite the school for three weeks. During this period, in addition to helping Yuan Wu to regulate his university life, he also used Yuan Wu's description of the other three roommates, plus his first impression at the time, to analyze the character characteristics of the three, and warned Yuan Wu who he should be close to and distanced from. Who, who should talk about what topic, and who must not touch what bottom line. What is even more unexpected is that his mother also taught Yuan Wu how to analyze the personality of other students in the class.

Yuan Wu's life was all arranged by his mother, before college, after college, and after work, even what kind of girl he married was arranged by his mother.

Before his mother's accident, his life was good, and he didn't have to think too much; but his mother got out of the carWhen the disaster is gone, his life is bleak. Except for gambling, which can give him a sense of accomplishment, there is nothing that can make him interested. His life begins to overlap with failure, and he falls into the abyss step by step.

It's never a good thing for a child to be too obedient because he doesn't have a mind of his own.

As a mother, can you accompany him all the time? cannot. You help him arrange everything. What should he do when you are gone? A qualified mother should let go of her child and not blindly rely on achievement. She can guide her child, but must not call the shots for him.

has given too much love to the child, you have no self, and you have harmed the child.

You are a mother, but her own

Yuan Wu's mother has never lived for herself. She regards Yuan Wu as the whole of her life and gives all her love.

This kind of love that gives everything is a very morbid maternal love. It will also bring a certain amount of pressure to the child. The more you give, the more you want to get something in return. Guilt, over time, he will not dare to disobey you.

The mother thinks that the child is obedient, but she doesn't know that the child is not a doll, so how can you follow your arrangements, but if you can follow your arrangements, this may indicate that he has a psychological problem.

Yuan Wu's psychology is also very morbid.

encountered setbacks, no one told him how to get over it, he just wanted to escape, he didn't dare to make his own choice, and he was extremely fearful in his heart.

hopes that the TV series "Gone Child" can make some parents reflect: obedient children are not a good thing, sometimes it is better for children to be naughty, as long as it is not a particularly big problem, it can actually be tolerated. You don't always arrange everything for your child, you have to guide him to make his own decisions. Don't interfere too much with your children's social interactions, they have their own way of making friends, you have to respect them. Don't feel that everything except studying is a waste of time. Studying is important, but by no means the most important. To cultivate the independent ability of children to live independently, not you do everything. Let go when it's time to let go, a child is an independent person, not your marionette.

give all the love, is it really good for children?

He is an independent person. In the future, if he needs to face life by himself, he should let go early.

It is definitely a mother's dereliction of duty for her son to become a mother's treasure.

Yuan Wu's mother is so sad!

has been so busy all her life, she has no ego, her son is the whole of her life, and her son is indeed her pride, but what can be done? You have no way to accompany your son for the rest of your life, work hard, die in a car accident, and then your son fails so badly and does so many wrong things.

is so pathetic, so pathetic, wrong from the start.

Today's topic: How to evaluate the relationship between Yuan Wu and his mother? Welcome to leave a message for discussion.

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★ Author: YIBAO; emotional original author, writing warm emotional things in this world.