It’s been five years since "Wonderful Flowers", I’m still looking for answers about love

Today’s story comes from a friend of mine. She once had a loved one, and two years after breaking up, she still wanted to save him persistently.

She imagined the scenes when they met again many times, on the campus trails where she once walked, at the coffee shop she used to go to, at the wedding of a mutual friend. At that time they still maintained the appearance of loving each other, and after smiling at each other, they held each other's hands again.

For this reason, she almost cut off the possibility of contact with other opposite sexes and closed herself.

A few days ago, she told me that she decided to put it down.

"I seem to be relieved suddenly," she no longer refused to contact new friends, ready to welcome a new relationship, "I don't want to refuse to let me feel how good I am."


moved for the third time after breaking up , I finally made up my mind to throw away all things related to him. When the

items are scattered around the room, I don’t feel that when they are really organized, they can easily fill a large carton.

The old-fashioned LG mobile phone was full of text messages from him, but the charger was missing; the scarf was knitted for a long time before Christmas, but was finally abandoned because it was too ugly; when I went to Beijing with him to see Jay Chou, I stayed The handwriting on the tickets and bus tickets below is so blurred that the date can’t be distinguished; the sneakers that were bought for almost five hours under the big sun, failed to send out and broke up...

All the items were arranged one by one, and I decided to bid farewell to the self obsessed with the past.

first fell in love, all because of my stalker. He opened the heavy curtain at the entrance of the cafeteria, wearing a Lakers basketball uniform, he walked out in front of the light, glancing at Wannian.

immediately turned around and followed him immediately. Seeing that he was about to enter the dormitory building, he was about to dare to go up and stop him, to complete the feat of asking a boy for the first time in my life...Unsuccessful. When I haven't done a good job of mental construction, he has disappeared.

Xu was pity from heaven, and soon I met him again in a cooperation with the student union department for the new year. After inquiring about various gossips, at the celebration banquet, I approached him who was playing with his mobile phone in the corner of the KTV private room, and said nervously that I wanted to exchange WeChat with him. He was not surprised by the sudden harassment. He took out the QR code and handed it to me:

"Okay."

After this, I started to obsess over him childishly: sending WeChat, pretending to meet by chance, borrowing each other Sending gifts in such a name, I want to let the world know that I like his posture. At first, he would helplessly "warn" me of peace, and then he would just mess around with me. About half a year later, we are together.

I often think that our relationship seems to be me working hard from the beginning, and he just passively accepts it all.

What Cai Kangyong said in the second season of "Wonderful Story" discussed "Should girls take the initiative to chase boys?"

Some girls said that in the process of pursuing boys, the happiest thing is that she chased someone, called herself. The degree of fraternity of

boys can be compared to painting appreciation. I like this Picasso, I hang Picasso in the house, I think it's so beautiful. But it does not prevent me from liking that Zhang Daqian, and I hang another Zhang Daqian. I like Fu Baoshi, and I hang another Fu Baoshi. I like Chagall, and I hang another Chagall. When I hung four paintings in my room, I was very happy. My eyes wandered between the four paintings. I think the four paintings are so beautiful.

The degree to which girls are devoted is like listening to a song. When a girl is listening to Jay Chou, you can't put Leehom Wang at the same time. This is not good. You can't say that I listen to Jay Chou in my left ear and Wang Leehom in my right ear. This is not working. So it is impossible for her to appreciate four songs at the same time like four paintings.

The sweet moments and the original beauty when we were together concealed the cracks that were slowly exposed. Even if he later broke through his ambiguity with other girls, I was also looking for excuses for him-maybe just friends, maybe I misunderstood . It wasn't until he frankly proposed to break up at the end that the real full stop came on the white paper.

When I took out my mind and body to burn myself, he was accumulating power to hunt the next prey.

a long time after breaking up, IAlmost holding the thought of hitting the south wall and not turning back, waiting for him to turn around and hug me again. I began to guess whether his dynamics in the circle of friends implied information about me, whether a certain invitation to a gathering of friends was instructed by him, and whether his thoughts spread like me in the middle of the night. At that time, I was confined to the irreparable love, and I didn't care about the people around me at all.

I am used to reading "Wonderful Flowers" over and over again when I can't sleep. It's not that I want to get any clear conclusions, but I just try to see others' answers.

A few days ago, I started to look back on the first season again. In the debate of "the person who loves you and the person you love, who would you choose?", Cai Kangyong said:

love is often a misunderstanding, love is often for you Your own misunderstanding is often your misunderstanding of that person. Is the person you know the person you really know? Is the person you love the lover in your imagination? It is often a misunderstanding. And because you can't love it, it can't be tested, and in the end it becomes an unfinished dream.

So my advice to everyone is: if you choose the person you love, you create a wound for yourself; if you choose the person who loves you, you choose a pair of armor for yourself to protect you. We often need people who love us to discover how good we are.

I think that when most people love each other blindly, they often overlook the best part of themselves. We finally rely on people who love us deeply, and make us believe that we are worthy of love, we are a good person. So, don't easily refuse to make you feel how good you are.

A few gentle and gentle words took away my two years of obsession.

To this day, I will think about the bits and pieces of our love. The only thing that is clear is the silly, brave, and young self. Some people, we keep him in the memory to let them miss ourselves at the time. After

, I wanted to say to him: I have a very good life, I have not forgotten the past, and I am running towards a better future without you.


It has been five years since the first season of "Wonderful Talk" was broadcast. In the show, the gentle Cai Kangyong, the sharp Ma Dong, the sharp-eyed Ma Weiwei, the seductive Qiu Chen and others shared many love stories and analyzed the confusion of many people in love.

They collected more puzzles and entanglements about love, and gave suggestions and possibilities in the official authorized book of the program group of "Wonderful Flowers"-"Wonderful Flowers: Love Needs Repeated Discussion".

Do you want to say if you love someone?

Should you confess your love history to your lovers?

Do you want to change the way your lover wants?

Should the "leftover men and women" find objects, should it be "almost done"?

Whether you are confused by small daily contradictions, or entangled in the world's existing views and standards, this book will give you more confidence and strength.

Love is an age-old problem, and it varies from person to person. It still can't give all the answers about love accurately, but at least after reading it, you can understand the results of different choices in their stories and become more determined in the face of decisions.

There are countless possibilities about love. Through this book, I hope you can find your own way, find long-term happiness, and guard the heroic dreams in your tired and trivial life.

"Better Exclusive Welfare"

"Wonderful Talk" program group officially authorized book-

"Wonderful Talk: Love Needs Repeated Discussion" x10

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text | Muyao

photo | Network/Photo courtesy of interviewees

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