text/Xiaojinmi
The TV series "Thirty Only", which was popular for most of the summer, has officially ended amidst a lot of discussions.
Quite a few people are amazed at the ending of Chen Yu and Zhong Xiaoqin.
In the beginning, the lives of the two of them were so cold that they were not as cold as their roommates. One loves to raise fish and the other loves to raise cats. It is not too speculative.
was so deserted that Zhong Xiaoqin was extremely disappointed. After an outbreak, the relationship between the two also ended in divorce.
However, after the divorce, the two people gradually discovered the importance of each other.
Zhong Xiaoqin remembers only Chen Yu's phone number after being in danger, and Chen Yu calmly responded, took care of her, and wanted to rescue Xiaoqin as soon as possible.
is real and romantic.
Finally, the two remarried sweetly.
Lovers always hope that they can always keep the glue-like moments in the intimate relationship, but there are so many lingering feelings in real life. The transformation of the relationship between Chen Yu and Zhong Xiaoqin also tells the most simple fact: There is no long-lasting tenderness and vigor in the marriage of , and it is more of the companionship of common growth.
01. Intimate marriage requires mutual understanding between both parties.
People always mistakenly think that the secret of a happy marriage is long-term love, but love is not the only thing in marriage. Mr. Lin Yutang of
once said, “ modern people often treat love as a meal, marriage as a snack, and live marriage in the way of love. There is nothing unsuccessful. ”
The two married people have different backgrounds and come from different Family, such a difference cannot guarantee an intimate relationship without conflict.
To alleviate this difference, it is necessary to understand each other. Someone at
has summed up:
“because of understanding, so understand; because of understanding, so accept; because of acceptance, so happy.”
Sun Li and Deng Chao should be regarded as well-known couples in the entertainment industry.
The two have known each other for 14 years and have been married for 9 years. Even after such a long time, the two parties can still enjoy a long and peaceful marriage.
But even so, it cannot be said that there is no difference in the lives of the two.
Sun Li once stated on Weibo that the lives of the two are different.
For example, Deng Chao is a night owl, and Sun Li likes to go to bed early and get up early; Sun Li likes Shanghai, but Deng Chao likes to live in Beijing...
But they have lived for so many years but they are still happy and happy. In fact, this is the result of mutual understanding.
Deng Chao understands Sun Li's lifestyle and is willing to change it. He goes to bed and wakes up early every day, and moves to Shanghai to live with her.
The two parties in a marriage, whether they are men or women, have different ways and dimensions of thinking.
Just imagine if Deng Chao and Sun Li only consider the problem from their own perspective, how can they understand each other's true thinking?
Even if there is still love, if you don't understand it, it will gradually cause misunderstanding between the two.
After a long time, the misunderstanding gradually deepened, and the two parties in the marriage inevitably got into quarrels, wondering whether the other party still loves themselves, and even finally parted ways and ended in divorce.
Indeed, just like life needs bread, marriage needs love.
However, loving someone means tolerance, understanding, consideration, patience, and nourishing each other.
If you want a loving couple, you can understand each other for a long time.
02. A long-lasting marriage requires mutual support between both parties.
Leung Ka Fai is known as the "wife-loving demon".
When he and his wife were just married, they were in a low career period, and his wife did not choose to leave him because of the difficult life.
At the peak of his career, his wife was ill, and he still persevered.
There is a classic wedding vow that says this,
"Regardless of prosperity or adversity, whether poor or rich, regardless of health or disease, we will live together hand in hand, never leave, and be with you for life."
Liang Jiahui and his wife have always practiced this sentence in their marriage relationship. It is not easy for
to meet the right person among thousands of people and tie a knot, and it is not easy to walk hand in hand with them in the rest of life.
Liang Jiahui and his wife have been supporting each other all the way through the ups and downs, and this is not easy. Dr. Susan M. Johnson, who studies partner therapy at
, once concluded:
“Intimacy is like walking a tightrope together. If one person is eager to escape or attack, it will inevitably bring the other person’s instability, and eventually two people Both will experience violent swings and fall off the steel wire together.” If the two in marriage want to walk safely on this steel wire and avoid violent swings, they must help each other to support each other.
Regarding marriage, Taiwanese writer Chen Xue said,
"Love is no longer romantic, but it has solid emotions that can only be accumulated by time. Love between firewood, rice, oil and salt, interdependent in the most common things, full of smoke, is indeed the most true. The fragrance of the fragrance."
is like an oil tank inseparable from an oil spoon. Only by supporting each other can you truly feel the depth of the sea.
03. Tough marriage requires the mutual growth of both parties
The so-called intimate relationship, based on the psychologist Kirehler's point of view, refers to social cooperation based on the trust between two independent individuals, or individuals with different goals through compromise The relationship established to achieve their common goals. To put it simply,
is a relationship of getting along in order to achieve "cooperation and win-win".
wants to achieve the goal of win-win, in addition to love, the important thing is the common growth of the two.
Yang Lan once said,
“The toughest bond in marriage is not children, not money, but spiritual growth.
The marriage between her and her husband Wu Zheng is the best proof.”
Yang Lan and Wu Zheng met at a gathering of friends, and the two talked very happily.
They have the same hobbies, backgrounds, and even careers.
Yang Lan recalled in the interview that he had returned to China from the United States at the time. Wu Zheng resolutely shut down the American company and returned with her; and when Yang Lan decided to work in Beijing, he settled in Beijing for her development.
Wu Zheng understands her, loves her, has been by her side to encourage her, support her, and help her a lot in her career.
When he is frustrated and confused, Yang Lan will accompany him to give advice.
At the same time, Yang Lan himself worked hard and became the most important woman in his life.
From the experience of Yang Lan and his wife, marriage essentially means a cooperation on the road of life.
If the two people move forward in unison, the marriage relationship will be firm and tough; but if they move forward at different frequencies, one of them will always fall behind.
A tough marriage requires two people to be evenly matched, they need to move forward side by side, and they need to grow together in the company of both sides to become better each other.
author Tolstoy said that
"the kind of happiness that a married person obtains from each other is only the beginning of marriage, not its full meaning. The full meaning of marriage is contained in family life."
It means that the ups and downs of life need to be experienced and experienced by both parties in the marriage together.
has no unfortunate marriage, only two parties who don't work hard.
After all, marriage is a matter of two people, and it is stableThe foundation is not that the affection is endless, but that the two of them are moving in a common direction, understanding each other, supporting each other, and growing together in the long and flowing life.
In this way, two loving hearts will shine more brightly, and their marriage will become more intimate.
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