Author: box (parents evolution writer)
yesterday morning, accompanied Peas year-old daughter brushing teeth in the bathroom.
Just as we were immersed in the fun of interaction, there was a faint sound of water droplets, turning our heads to see, we were peeing!
This is the third time she has been standing and peeing this week.
Before returning to her hometown, Doudou was not like this. She had her own small toilet at home. She stopped diapering before the age of three. When I was with me, I would call my mother in advance as long as I had urine. Why is it a big one? Turn? When
changed his pants, Doudou's small move aroused my vigilance.
Although I closed the door in the bathroom, she almost buried her head in my arms, not shy, not shameless, but escape! I also said softly: "Mom, don't let everyone know."
I suddenly think of the previous few peasy urine pants. Grandma said her scene in front of everyone. The people in the room seemed to be watching jokes, talking and laughing. Talking about his thoughts on "three-year-old peeing in pants", Doudou's expression on the side of watching cartoons suddenly became numb.
And me, because of my emotions, without preventing and interfering, my children still face this dilemma today.
The psychological burden of being nervous and afraid of being said to pee in public again made her daughter pee into her pants again and again "as a last resort". I fell into reflection.
is in the behavior self-check form of "bear parents" of 17 kinds of unqualified parents published on the People's Daily Weibo. Article 6 of
: does not respect the privacy of children and is particularly dazzling. And behind these "bear parents", it is not only their ignorance, but also the neglect of their children.
01
Children are young, he does not understand
Many adults treat their children as small as a pass for all excuses.
doesn't know how young a person is, he is also an independent individual, he will grow up, and he will understand one day.
Last year, on the watermelon video, one file asked five children on the topic of "Do you want your parents to ask for their consent when sending parents to Moments."
had a heated discussion, and the children urged mom and dad to respect their privacy, and even worried that it might be posted. What should I do if the photos on
are hacked? It can be seen that the children are also broken for their unconscious parents.
Previously, a 6-year-old foreign girl publicly accused her parents of posting photos of toilet training and bathing on Facebook. The video once became popular.
Many parents record their children’s growth by showing babies, please friends, get likes, and satisfy their vanity.
But they didn't expect what the children would think when they grew up? Seeing the little girl's helpless expression of grievance, she shouted that none of this was what she wanted. Really sour.
Some moments of children belong only to themselves. Although they are small, they will understand one day.
02
I am a parent, and I have the final say
If the child’s privacy has been violated due to the unintention of an adult. There is excuse. Those propositions of
: I am a parent, and my child’s body and privacy are mine. Parents who have the final say will be terrified to think carefully.
enters the room without knocking on the door, peeking at the diary, monitoring the phone, looking through the school bag, etc., has become the nightmare of many adolescents. It also ruined many parent-child relationships.
In the hit drama "Youth School", Lin Miaomiao discovered that his mother Wang Shengnan entered the room and peeked at her diary. He not only questioned face-to-face, but also locked the door of the room, and posted "restricted area, dangerous, flammable and explosive" Note. Said that he has no human rights and no privacy like cats. Do not eat or drink in bed.
Yin Jianli cited an example of a parent in her "A Good Mother Is Better than a Good Teacher". This parent is afraid that her daughter will fall in love early and affect her schoolwork, so she strictly monitors her. As long as there are boys calling in the house, they must ask questions. The mother of
not only did not reflect, but also ran to the school to find the head teacher to make a fuss. As a result, her daughter could not stay in this school anymore.
these momsThey are all typical parent-child tensions caused by disrespect of children's privacy.
knows that there is a 16,000 high praise question and answer "When are you really disappointed with your parents?" Among them, "parents talk about their embarrassment in public" is the first one, which has become a childhood nightmare and shadow for many people.
What they are disappointed with their parents is not that the parents "said" this matter, but that when the parents said it, they did not worry about the feelings of a child. They are not treated as independent people with self-esteem.
and Zhihu also have a 46,000-like question and answer "What kind of education of your parents has surprised you?" An author named Ruansu shared her mother's way of education, one of which said:
me Moms like this, adolescent boys and girls, all want to come here.
03
Children, you deserve respect
"Little Joy" starring Huang Lei and Haiqing is the only TV series I have seen from the beginning to the end.
Once, Fang Yifan hid the 8499 Lego given by his father for Qiao Yingzi, and had to hide it under his bed, but he did not expect to be turned over. By the way, mother
also turned out a magazine with beautiful women in swimsuits, which was hidden by Fang Yifan on the bed under the pillow.
The mother was so angry that she yelled: "No wonder I can't study, because my heart is on this. Looking at this every day, can I get good grades?"? Ready to tear the book on one side. "Huang Lei" in the
play grabbed the magazine and enlightened his wife, "I love to read it at her age. It is normal for children to read this book when they are fifteen or sixteen." And, after some persuasion from Father Fang, two He decided to take only Lego and put the magazine back intact. This approach of
not only respects the privacy of children, but also protects their self-esteem. Perhaps the performance of "Fang Yifan" in the play is not the best, but under the respect and education of his father, he has grown up in the healthiest and sunshine.
Speaking of Huang Lei, not only did I get fans in the play, he was also a good father who respected the child outside the play. I remember he posted a Weibo about his sister wetting the bed. Between the lines
, there is no blame, no joke. Let the child easily accept this embarrassing stage, and there is a subtext that does not say: Dad has done this before.
empathizes with one another and is the source of respect for children.
Indeed, when a child's feelings are recognized, embarrassment is respected.
This is more precious than the power of simply gaining love. He will treasure this beauty to adulthood, and then respect others with the same sincerity.
04
respect privacy, from now on
actor Huang Xiaoming once angered "Hong Kong One Weekly" reporter on Weibo for infringing on the privacy of his son Xiao Sponge, once won the support and support of fans, celebrities, as public figures, are more sensitive to privacy And have legal consciousness.
British experts believe that children have their own privacy from infancy. Like adults, they don't want people to know about their own physical defects, embarrassment incidents, and wrong things.
They were born as our children. As parents, they have the responsibility and obligation to respect and protect their future lives.
1, don't send embarrassing photos of children privately, and don't take videos of children
. Now, you can open social platforms such as "Tik Tok" and "Moments of Friends". There are many proud and funny photos and videos posted by parents. The comment area attracted crowds like watching monkeys. Not to mention how children will feel when they grow up, if they are used by some criminals, the consequences will be disastrous.
2. Don’t talk about their children’s personal affairs in public.
Many parents chat, and the children are always talking: I went to bed last night and cried and looked for my mother; which girl I went home with today; etc., talked endlessly.
worldThere is no impermeable wall, these talks you talk about will someday reach the children's ears, what will they think? Don't let your child strike back at a moment's notice, "You are not worthy of being a parent".
3. Popularize sex education as soon as possible, and clearly inform the child that the physical boundary
is either the "Room N incident" or the "Sprout Forum". These crowds and platforms that aim cats at young children have to arouse the attention of parents, popularize sex education as soon as possible, and inform children which parts of the body are their own privacy, and no one can invade them at will.
lets children know that the body also has boundaries. This not only makes children have the consciousness of asking for help in times of danger, but also can love and love others when they grow up. They don't treat privacy and body as trifling matter, and know how to respect themselves and others.
Every child rushes towards us, towards the better. Although this road is beautiful, it is also covered with thorns.
"Seeing" is a function that every parent needs to restart, seeing the child's feelings, seeing the child's needs, seeing the child's grievances and disappointments, but also seeing the child's present and future
"Respect" is the ability that every parent needs to practice . The best time to plant a tree is ten years ago, followed by now. Respect for children's privacy should start from the moment TA comes to the world.
About the author: Xiazi, Fushu columnist, 7th student of Fushu Parent-child Camp, a tossing girl born in the 1980s, Baoma; I believe tomorrow is better than today, optimistic; good at thinking, willing to summarize, and urge myself to make progress every day For workplace managers, the copyright of this article belongs to Fushu. Unauthorized reprinting is prohibited. Infringement must be investigated. Fushu 2018 launched the new book "Good Life"
• The picture originated from the Internet, and the copyright belongs to the owner of the picture.
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