Speaking of Pang Xiuyu, you may not know who she is, but her story can shock you from beginning to end.
Pang Xiuyu, a talented girl who was once a hit girl writer in the 1990s, ended up becoming a poor, unmarried mother with three children. What exactly is this matter about?
Pang Xiuyu was born in an ordinary worker's family in Tianjin. There are few decent pieces of furniture in the house, but the collection of books exceeds 12,000 volumes.
This is all because she has a father who has no talent.
The dreams that cannot be realized by oneself are placed on children. Therefore, father Pang Yi has been strict with Pang Xiuyu since he was a child.
Pang Xiuyu had to memorize poems, learn Chinese characters, and do arithmetic before school. After entering elementary school, she had to read a lot of books and write 2,000 words of articles every day.
Once she fails to meet the requirements, her father will beat or scold her.
Under such high pressure, Pang Xiuyu really emerged. She began to publish works in various reading materials and newspapers and periodicals when she was in elementary school. She won numerous awards and was awarded the title of "Top Ten Young Men in Literature in the Country".
Even literary master Ba Jin and educator Lei Jieqiong wrote to her to encourage her.
htmlAt the age of 214, she became the youngest member of the Tianjin Writers Association and was known as a "genius girl".
But the story did not end like a fairy tale.
Seeing Pang Xiuyu's dazzling achievements, his father pushed his daughter into the public eye.
's father not only contacted the publishing house to publish her personal collection "Hope", but also arranged for her to accept various interviews, making her "famous overnight."
While she was busy becoming famous, she gradually fell behind in her studies and even had to drop out of school.
In order to survive, she went to work as a waiter in a restaurant. Here she met a man 16 years older than her.
This man greeted her warmly and said he wanted to fulfill her dream of college and literature.
Pang Xiuyu, who lacked fatherly love, fell deeply into it and gave birth to three children for him.
But soon, the man left her. She also realized that the man she relied on was actually someone else's husband.
Just like that, the once famous genius girl fell into poverty and became an unmarried mother with three children.
From this lamentable "genius girl", we can see that her father's expectations for her, her education methods, and his dreams and ambitions all directly or indirectly affected her growth and final life direction.
So, what inspiration can this bring to our family education?
1: High expectations mean high pressure
Pang Xiuyu’s father had higher expectations for his daughter than he had for himself because he was not very talented.
In order to let his daughter realize her dream, he formulated extremely strict study plans and living standards for her.
This took up almost all of Pang Xiuyu's time and energy, and also brought huge pressure to her.
As parents, we all have the beautiful expectation of “hoping for our children to become successful and our daughters to become phoenixes”. However, this expectation must be realistic and should not put too much pressure on children.
Like many parents, in order to prevent their children from falling behind others, they start studying and attending various classes from an early age. Although a child may perform well now, it will have a profound impact on him in the future.
This is why today's children are particularly mentally fragile and do things that hurt themselves at every turn.
We can give our children expectations, but we must also understand that behind high expectations, there must be high pressure on children. We must have a balance between expectations and pressure, and not going too far is not enough.
2: When facing success and failure, parents should be more calm.
Once you are promoted, it is difficult to accept the fall.
Pang Xiuyu's father was dazzled by his daughter's temporary dazzling results and felt that his wish would soon be realized by his daughter.
But he has no long-term vision and does not consider his daughter's long-term development. He only cares about the present.
That’s why he ignored his daughter’s studies, and eventually even caused her daughter to drop out of school due to failing academic performance.
The father was too eager for success and did not consider his daughter's life. Once his daughter disappoints him, he immediately gives up on the child.
When we raise children, we should not be confused by the immediate success or failure, and do not dwell on the score. Instead, we should help children find problems, solve problems, and improve children's abilities.
Three: Lack of Father's Love
When Pang Xiuyu was growing up, her father focused too much on achievements and success, but ignored her emotional needs and mental health.
Pang Xiuyu, who lacks a sense of security and father's love, also appears to be extremely fragile in interpersonal relationships as an adult.
She did not find a partner who was truly suitable for her and could grow up with her. Instead, she was easily deceived by others' sweet words, and eventually became an abandoned unmarried mother of three children.
If her father paid attention to her achievements when she was a child, he would also give her tender care and love. It might not be like this when she grows up. You may achieve a small amount of success and live happily at the same time.
Four: Self-worth
Under the influence of her father, Pang Xiuyu excessively tied her self-worth to achievements. When she could no longer maintain her identity as a "genius girl," she felt worthless, and this sense of loss exacerbated her difficulties later in life.
If she had been taught from a young age that in addition to her achievements, she was also a person worthy of love and a valuable person, then she might not fall into poverty and be able to live by herself.
Fathers have a profound influence on their children, especially girls. An excellent father does not need to be rich or powerful. As long as he loves his children more, then the children will have the strength to face the difficulties in life.
From a genius girl to a poor unmarried mother of three, what do you want to say?
[Pictures from the Internet, will be deleted immediately]
